Miles to Go
by darkaccalia520
Summary: Sequel to The Frayed Ends of Sanity. Will the Bridger family survive after the trauma they've endured, or will they go their separate ways? And will they leave seaQuest? AU. ALTERED TO COMPLY WITH SITE RULES. *COMPLETE*
1. Lie Awake

**A/N: This will be the third and final installment of the 'Die Another Day' saga. Yes, if you haven't read either one, you'll probably need to read them to understand this. The story will pick up pretty much where the last one left off, so there won't be a huge passage of time. For those of you who have been reading from the very beginning, I hope you continue to read and enjoy it. And, of course, I always enjoy it when you take the time to tell me what you think, so please take the time to review. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: SeaQuest DSV and its characters are not my creation. They are the creation of Rockne S. O'Bannon as a 1990's television series. This work of fanfiction is for entertainment purposes only and is not for financial gain. I am just borrowing the characters for a bit and promise to return them unharmed and in their original condition, maybe just a bit happier.**

**Chapter 1**

**Three days later**

The _seaQuest _was nearly in New Cape Quest; they'd be docking within the hour. Nathan found himself reflecting on the events of the past few days. All the surgeries had been performed and were successful, no deaths or injuries at all. Even Michael has his mind-control chip removed as well. The UEO had sent a launch for all colony residents, and they were all working to get their lives back together. That chapter was closed.

Nathan and Robert had sat down with the children and finally told them they were all family. The children were a little shocked, but, actually, they were even happier to find out they were related, especially Harry and Michael, who had become rather close. Since Robert had been released from medbay, he was temporarily staying in Nathan and Kristin's quarters; they were getting to know one another, and Nathan couldn't have been happier to that fact.

Lucas, who had also been released from medbay and was doing just as well, helped Nathan search the Internex for homes to rent in New Cape Quest. It didn't take them long to find something large and spacious enough for what Nathan envisioned. Sure, it wouldn't hold the whole crew, but there was room enough for Nathan, Kristin, and the children, Robert, and Lucas. In addition, there were several guest rooms, so Wendy could stay as well and whoever else wanted could stay there too. And the best thing was, the house just outside of town and Oceanside. There'd be plenty of room for the children to play, and Nathan hoped there'd be enough peace and quiet for Kristin to heal emotionally.

Kristin, unfortunately, wasn't doing as well as Nathan hoped. Wendy had reluctantly released her from medbay. Physically, she was healing; she didn't need extra oxygen anymore, so there was really no plausible reason to keep her there. However, Wendy felt Kristin would fare better there until they arrived in New Cape Quest. But Nathan disagreed. He felt having her family around her would help her. So, Wendy finally caved in. But, Nathan found he should have listened to Wendy, since Kristin became more withdrawn once again.

Nathan knocked on the bedroom door before opening it. "Sweetheart? We'll be docking soon," he said to her. She was in bed. In fact, since being released from medbay, she rarely came out of the bedroom to see anyone. He sat down next to her. "Are you packed?"

She nodded. "Yes, I'm ready. Did you get the children's things together?"

"Yes, all that's been done. Kendall helped me. Oh, you know she'll be staying with us to help with the children too? I might have forgotten to mention that," Nathan said.

"You did." There was a long pause. This was normal for her. They couldn't seem to talk anymore, at least not as they used to. "So, you don't think I'll be able to take care of the children?"

"No one ever said that," Nathan replied gently. "If you don't want her there, I'll tell her so."

"No, that's not necessary. I mean, I know I'll need the help." She sighed, finally sitting up. "I just don't know how I'll handle this trial. I can't even handle my own life right now," she said miserably.

Nathan reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, but she gently shrugged it away. "Why do you keep doing that?" he finally asked out of frustration.

"Doing what?"

"Kristin, I'm trying to be patient with you, trying to understand, but every time I try to help, you push me away. Why?" he asked desperately.

He was met with silence. Kristin didn't know what to say. Finally, after what seemed like a small eternity, she finally spoke. "I don't know. I…just feel so…" her voice trailed off.

"What? Feel so what?" Nathan pressed.

"You wouldn't understand," she replied. "No one understands."

"Like _Hell_ I don't," Nathan said, finally losing his cool. "You seem to forget, I _watched _this happen to you. I watched everything. He almost took your life…but he didn't. You need to remember that."

"I _do_," Kristin said, tears running down her cheeks at the memory of it.

"No, you _don't_," Nathan continued, "because you've already let him win. You're acting as though he did take your life."

"Well, that's how I feel," Kristin said. "You promised you'd be patient, understanding."

"I'm trying," Nathan said, "but is it so wrong of me to want my wife back? Is that such a bad thing? And, what about the kids? You know they miss you so much, and you've barely said a word to them in the past three days."

Kristin _did_ know all this; didn't _Nathan_ know all this was running through her head? Didn't he know she didn't _wan_t to stay in the bedroom all the time? But's that where she felt safe; that's where she felt no harm could come to her. She_ hated_ feeling this way, and she didn't know how to explain herself to anyone. She knew everyone was questioning it. Kristin wasn't used to that. She'd never had to deal with others scrutinizing her behavior before. Before this, she'd always been level-headed, always been practical. Others always trusted her and her judgment. Now, she didn't even trust herself, and no one else did either, it seemed. Without another word, she walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She leaned against the wall and sobbed.

Nathan hadn't meant for her to shut him out, but he should have expected as much. There were times he saw glimpses of the woman she was, but those times were rare. For the most part, it had been like this, her shutting him out when he tried to get close. He knocked on the door. "Kristin, I'm sorry. Please don't do this. Just come out of the bathroom. We'll be docking soon. You can't stay in there all day."

"Just go away!" Kristin yelled through her tears.

Nathan sighed. He stood there for a few minutes, wondering if he should keep trying. But, he decided it was best to leave her alone. He hoped she'd be fine by the time they docked, or at least fine enough to want to leave the bathroom. He turned and saw Kristy standing in the doorway. He wondered how long she'd been there, how much she had heard. "Hi, Sweetie…did you need something?"

"I wanted to see Mommy," Kristy said. "Why were you yelling at her?"

"I-I wasn't yelling," Nathan lied, picking her up and sitting down with her on the bed.

"I heard yelling," Kristy insisted. "You and Mommy were both yelling."

"Alright," Nathan conceded. "We were yelling." He tried to think of a way to explain it to her. "It's just that we're angry; remember we talked about how Mommy's not feeling well right now?"

Kristy nodded. "Because of that mean man."

"Right…well, we're all angry with him. And sometimes, it helps to yell."

"I'm angry too," Kristy finally admitted. "I'm angry because Mommy's not the same anymore."

"That's why Mommy's angry too," Nathan explained. "But the new doctor's going to help her, going to help us all deal with that anger. And hopefully, soon, we'll all be better again."

"I miss her," Kristy said sadly.

"I know, Sweetie," Nathan said. But he tried to cheer her up. "How about we go see about a snack before we dock? How about some cookies? Would that make you feel better?"

The girl thought for a moment. "OK," she agreed. She started following Nathan out of the room. As Nathan walked into the hallway, Kristy paused. It nearly broke Nathan's heart when he heard her say, "I love you Mommy. Please come out of the bathroom. We miss you." Then, she ran to catch up with her father.

Kristin had heard everything, and it broke her heart too. She was tired, tired of feeling the way she felt. But, it wasn't so easy to pretend as though everything was fine. She knew she was seeing Dr. McGath tomorrow. Although she still wasn't ecstatic about it, she hoped the doctor would be able to help her because she knew she was hurting everyone she loved and cared about.

After a while, Kristin's tears subsided. She finally came out of the bathroom, and she willed herself to walk into the living area. Unfortunately, she found herself alone. Everyone was gone. She didn't have the courage to walk through the corridors. She didn't want to be bombarded with the many 'how are yous?' and the looks of concern. She didn't welcome the attention, although she knew the rest of the crew was just as concerned as her family; but she just wasn't ready for any of that.

She wondered how long she had until they docked. She debated taking a small nap; she hadn't been sleeping well these days, and she found herself tired often. Then she thought that perhaps that some television might take her mind off her problems. She sat down on the couch and turned it on. After flipping through the channels, she found that_ Casablanca_ was on, although it was nearly over. But, the ending was her favorite part anyway. She lay on her side and watched. And for a short time, she did forget her troubles as she became engrossed in the film. But, after it ended, her mind came back to reality, and she felt miserable once again.

A short time later, her thoughts were interrupted as Nathan and the children came through the door. Kristin sat up.

"Hi there," Nathan said in surprise when he saw her. "We'll be arriving in Cape Quest in about ten minutes."

Kristy ran to her mother and hugged her. "Mommy!"

Kristin returned the hug.

"I missed you," the girl said. "Are you feeling better?"

"A little," Kristin replied. "Have you been good for your father?"

"They've been angels," Nathan insisted.

Kristy moved so Harry could hug Kristin too. "Hi, Mom," he said.

"How's your leg?" she asked.

"Better. Doc Smith took the stitches out this morning."

"Uh, why don't you two get your bags together?" Nathan said to them. "I want to talk to your mother alone for a minute."

The two did as they were told, and Nathan sat next to her. "So, _are _you feeling better?"

"A little…honest," she replied.

"I am sorry about before."

She nodded. "Me too. I hope you know I don't _want_ to feel this way."

Nathan reached over and took her hand. He was pleased when she didn't pull away. He brought it to his lips and kissed it. Then he squeezed it gently as he spoke, "I _do_ know that…it's just hard for me to see you this way. We're _all_ dealing with it."

"I know," Kristin said. "And I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Nathan reminded her. "Please don't blame yourself. The doctor will help us all."

Suddenly the boat jerked as it prepared to dock. "I guess that means we're here. Are you ready?"

"Lead the way," she said.

"You'll feel better when we're at the house. I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I will…and I can't _wait_ to feel better," Kristin replied.


	2. I Deserve It

**Chapter 2**

A short time later, the group piled into a couple of rented cars, and they drove to the house.

"Well, what do you guys think?" Nathan asked as he pulled into the driveway.

"It's huge!" Harry exclaimed.

"Wait 'til you see the inside," Nathan replied with a laugh. As soon as the car was in park, the children ran excitedly to check out the beach.

"Don't go near the water," Nathan warned.

"I'll keep an eye on them," Kendall offered, and she left to follow them. The second car with Robert, Michael, Lucas, and Wendy pulled up behind Nathan. Michael jumped out of the car and ran after Harry and Kristy.

"Kendall's down there," Nathan informed Robert. "Don't worry."

"Still, I better see if she needs help. Are you coming, Lucas?"

"Right behind you."

"Don't be too long," Nathan called. He turned to Kristin and Wendy, "Are you ready to see the inside?"

They nodded. "I can't believe you were able to get a house like this…and on the beach too," Wendy said.

As they walked to the front door, Nathan said, "Well, when I saw the picture, I knew everyone would love it. And, I'm hoping it will be peaceful for us too."

"After what happened, we all need that."

The women gasped in awe as they stepped inside. There was a spacious entry area that led into a large living room.

"The kitchen's this way, and there's a recreation room filled with games for the kids. There's a bathroom off the kitchen. All the bedrooms are upstairs. What do you think?"

"It's gorgeous," Kristin said.

"Ditto," Wendy said.

"Why don't we go upstairs? Kristin and I will have the master bedroom, of course. But, I thought I'd let the rest of you choose whatever room you'd like."

"Sounds good," Wendy said.

Once upstairs, Nathan said, "This one's our room."

"I'm going to explore the others," Wendy said to them. "See you later."

Nathan and Kristin walked into their room and began to unpack. "So you really like it then?"

"It's lovely," Kristin confirmed.

"Maybe after dinner, we could take a walk along the beach, just you and me?"

"That might be nice," Kristin said. Then she added, "I'm sorry I don't seem more enthusiastic about everything. I really do love it."

"You don't need to apologize. Maybe I should go see what's keeping everyone else. Are you going to stay up here?" Nathan asked.

Kristin nodded. "I'll finish unpacking."

Nathan gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later." But, he lingered at the door, unsure if he really should leave her.

"I'm fine; go," Kristin urged.

Nathan nodded. "Right, I was just checking. See you soon." With that he left.

Kristin went back to unpacking. It wasn't long before she heard the choruses of, "I want this room." She heard the children laughing and playing. She heard Wendy, Kendall and Robert laughing. And, she found herself feeling left out, left out because she couldn't bring herself to enjoy the happy times with the others. She was merely the witness to it all, a witness who couldn't find it in her heart to join in for all that desire had been drained. She feared she'd never have it back.

After she finished unpacking, she thought she'd go and see what the others were up to. She began walking down the stairs, and she smelled something delicious. She walked into the kitchen and saw Nathan and Robert working to make dinner. Wendy and Kendall were at the table helping to cut up vegetables.

"Hello, Kristin," Wendy greeted her.

Nathan turned. "Hey, Sweetheart, are you hungry?"

"Yes, actually. Where are the children?" she asked.

"They're in the rec room with Lucas. Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes; chicken fajitas."

"It smells delicious," Kristin said.

"If you want, you can help us," Wendy offered.

Kristin sat down and grabbed a knife and a bell pepper and sliced it up.

"After dinner, Robert, Kendall and Lucas are taking the children to the movies," Nathan explained.

"So it's just us three?" Kristin asked.

"Actually, I have plans too," Wendy replied. "I'm going to catch up with some of my college friends here. Besides, I thought you two might like some time alone."

"Well, we don't want you to feel like you _have_ to leave," Kristin said.

"I know," Wendy said. "It's just that we don't know how busy we'll be once the trial starts."

Soon dinner was ready, and the group was gathered around the large dining room table. After dinner, the others got ready to leave, and soon, it was just Kristin and Nathan alone.

"I guess we should clean up," Nathan said, carrying plates into the kitchen.

Kristin followed suit. "You know, you could have gone with them as well," Kristin said quietly.

"You mean to the movies? Why?"

"Well, don't you want to spend time with Robert?"

"Of course," Nathan retorted, "but we have time for that. I want to be here with you."

After the table was cleared, they did the dishes together. They didn't say much, but the experience was calming for Kristin, like old times. She almost forgot about Jesse and the trial.

Once the dishes were finished, Nathan asked, "So what would you like to do now?"

"How about that walk?" Kristin suggested.

"You got it." Nathan put his arm around her shoulders and led her outside.

"Oh, this view is beautiful," Kristin exclaimed, having not seen the beach until now. "I'm sorry I didn't go see it earlier."

"Kind of reminds me of the island; there aren't any neighbors to bother us at least," Nathan commented. He took her hand in his and led her along the beach. "Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"A little," she admitted. "I just don't want anyone to hate me anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

She sighed heavily. "I just feel like everyone's upset with me; I wish I could be more involved. I am trying, but it's awkward. The minute I'm having fun, I start thinking about him. I think I'm more worried about the trial. I don't think I can face him."

"Wendy says Dr. McGath specializes in things like this…post-traumatic stress. We'll get through this," Nathan said encouragingly.

The rest of the walk was spent mostly in silence. Occasionally, they shared a bit of small talk, but for the most part, it was quiet. They walked up and down the beach; once they reached the dock, Nathan led her to the edge, and they both sat down, staring out into the water. Nathan wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you," he whispered.

Kristin returned the embrace. "Me too," she said.

Nathan kissed her gently, and it wasn't long before the kiss deepened. But suddenly, Kristin pulled away. "I don't think I can do this yet."

"Do what?" Nathan scoffed. "It's just a kiss."

Kristin shook her head. "I meant what happens afterwards."

"Kristin, can't you just enjoy us being together? Look, I'm not going to force you to do anything you're not ready for, but can't you let me love you?"

Kristin thought for a moment. She whispered a quiet, "I'm sorry." And with that, she walked back to the house alone. She went upstairs and crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep. She hoped the therapist was a miracle worker because she felt that only a miracle could save her from her demons.

When Kristin awoke the next morning, she found the spot next to her was empty. She wondered if Nathan even slept next to her at all. She debated going back to sleep, but the smell of coffee and pancakes wafted through the house, making her stomach growl. She chastised her stomach for betraying her and crawled out of bed. She threw on a bathrobe and went downstairs, only to find the others there already eating.

"About time you woke up," Nathan said as the others muttered their good mornings between mouthfuls of food. "There's lots left; don't worry."

Kristin nodded and sat down. Nathan poured her a cup of coffee.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"How come you're being so nice to me?" she whispered so only he could hear.

"Well, how do you want me to treat you?" Nathan whispered back, passing her a plate of pancakes.

"I just thought…after last night…did you even come to bed last night?"

"Of course," Nathan insisted. "Look, just eat. We need to leave in about an hour, and I'm sure you'll want to shower."

Kristin did as she was told, although she found she wasn't as hungry as she thought as her anxiety set in. But she ate enough to make her stomach happy. Then, she went upstairs to get ready, since everyone else had already beaten her to the punch. A short time later, she headed downstairs, dressed and ready to go.

A short time later, the group pulled up in front of Elizabeth McGath's office. "Liz's Counseling," Lucas read the sign on the door, "well, at least it's simple."

As they walked inside, Wendy turned to the group. "I'll let them know we're here. Have a seat."

Everyone did as they were told. It wasn't long before a tall, blonde woman near Kristin's age came into the waiting room. She walked directly to where Kristin was sitting. "Kristin, I'm Dr. McGath." She extended her hand in greeting. "Why don't you come back, and we'll have a talk?"

Kristin looked at Nathan for encouragement. "You'll be fine," he whispered.

Kristin nodded as she followed the doctor to her office.

"Why don't you have a seat?" Dr. McGath said. "I've been informed of your case," she started.

"You have?" Kristin asked in shock.

Dr. McGath nodded. "Yes, Wendy took the liberty of explaining it…and I've already been contacted by the state prosecutors as well. Everyone wants to make sure you can handle the testimony."

"I-I'm not sure I can handle anything at the moment," Kristin admitted. "I think it's facing Mr. Sanderson that will be the most difficult."

Dr. McGath nodded. "Do you even know what the charges are?"

Kristin shook her head. "We haven't even been deposed yet; depositions begin Friday."

"Attempted murder one," the doctor said. "That's twenty-five to life. How do you feel about that?"

"I'm not sure," Kristin admitted.

"He left you for dead," McGath stated. "It's only by the grace of God that you're alive. Don't you think he deserves it?"

Kristin nodded, feeling the tears start to fall. She finally realized that's the reaction the doctor wanted.

"Just let it out," the doctor encouraged. "The faster you let it out, the faster we get to the healing."


	3. No Day But Today

**Chapter 3**

After sobbing for a while, Kristin finally regained her composure.

"Feeling better?" Dr. McGath asked.

"Much, thank you," Kristin replied.

The doctor handed her a box of tissues. "You haven't properly dealt with your emotions. I suspect everyone expects you to be fine. Or is it that_ you _expect yourself to be fine?"

"A-a little of both, I suppose," Kristin admitted. "Or maybe it's more of I wish I could _be_ fine. I feel like everyone's disappointed in me."

"And why would you think that?"

"Because this isn't me," Kristin insisted. "I'm the one everyone comes to for advice. I'm the one who always tries to comfort everyone else. I'm the sane one; I'm not…" her voice trailed off.

"Crazy?" the doctor offered.

Kristin nodded. "I feel like I've lost my mind. And, I have my whole family tip-toeing around me. I admit, I'm not making it very easy for them, but I just can't act like _nothing _happened."

"You shouldn't have to," the doctor agreed. "And you're _not _crazy; you've been through a trauma. You're still the same woman; you're just a little lost right now."

Kristin nodded. "Exactly."

Dr. McGath placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Don't you worry; you'll find yourself again. I do need you to know that you will always be…changed by this. But, you _can_ get through it. Do you believe that?"

"I-I want to," Kristin replied.

"Good," the doctor replied. "Listen, our time is up for today, but I have some homework for you. I want you to start keeping a journal. You can write anything you like in it, but the first thing I want you to write is three positive things about yourself. Then, I'd like you to write down your feelings throughout the course of the day. You can write in it as often as you'd like, but I'd like at least one entry per day. I'd like you to bring the journal with you every time we see each other, and I'd like that to be everyday at the moment. Would the same time work for you?"

"You're going to see me every day?" Kristin asked.

The doctor nodded. "Is that alright? If it's difficult for you to come here, I can make arrangements to come to you. It's just that I think the more we see one another, the better off you'll be."

Kristin was silent for a moment. "You'd come to me, Doctor?"

"If that's what you wanted," the doctor replied, laughing softly. "You seem shocked."

"Well, I just didn't expect…it's rather unconventional, I suppose."

"Listen, Honey, I'm _not_ conventional. I care about my patients, and although I can't_ always_ do everything, I do_ everything_ in my power to make sure they get well," the doctor explained. "By the way, you can call me Liz; there's no reason for formalities."

"Alright, Liz, and yes, this time would work fine" she said, smiling. In fact, it was one of the first real smiles she'd had in days. She liked Elizabeth McGath already. Although Nathan and the others tried, she didn't feel like they really understood her. It genuinely seemed like Liz truly understood her feelings, her thoughts, her emotions. That was refreshing and comforting. For the first time, Kristin saw a light at the end of the tunnel. She stood, ready to leave.

"Oh, just a minute," Liz said, gently grabbing her arm to stop her. "Why don't you ask your husband to come in? I'd like to talk to him. It'll only take a few minutes."

Kristin was a little confused, but she nodded and went to fetch Nathan. A moment later, Nathan walked in.

"Captain Bridger, I've heard so much about you from Arthur," she said, extending her hand. "I'm only sorry we haven't met before now."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too," Nathan replied, returning the handshake. "I hope it's all been good."

"Oh, yes," Liz confirmed. "Uh, you can have a seat." She motioned towards the couch.

After he was sitting, Liz continued, "Kristin did well for her first day. She did a lot of crying."

"That's good?" Nathan questioned. "She's already done a lot of that."

Liz smiled. "You don't understand the healing process much, do you?" She sighed. "You know your wife better than I do, but I already can tell she feels everyone expects her to be strong. She's either felt the need to hide her feelings, or she hasn't let them all show. No matter how hard she tries, she can't keep it bottled up inside of her. So, yes, the fact she's let some of it go is good. You should be very proud of her."

Nathan nodded. "I am; I just want things to be the way they were."

"I understand that; that's what she wants too. But you both need to realize that's not going to happen. This doesn't just go away. Instead, she needs to accept it, realize it hasn't conquered her, and move on. Things will never be the same, but that doesn't mean they can't be better. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Liz asked.

"I think so," Nathan replied. "So, I've been part of the problem," he added.

"Why do you say that?"

"I've been trying to push her, I guess. That probably wasn't the best thing."

"Probably not," Liz said. "Every step needs to be taken by her, you understand. If it's someone else trying to push her, she's going to shut down, and we don't want that. And, when you see she's making a step, no matter how small, show her encouragement. Don't push her away. That's not going to help her."

Nathan nodded. "Am I allowed to mention that we talked?"

"Not yet," Liz said. "She'll find out tomorrow. I've given her an assignment, and I want you to have an assignment as well."

"OK," Nathan replied, a little unsurely.

Liz laughed softly once again at Nathan's nervousness. "Don't worry, Captain, I'm not my husband. I want you to write down three things you love about her, and _don't _focus on the physical," she said with a smile. "I want you to focus on her emotional strengths, and be detailed about it. You don't need to write a book, but I don't want three simple sentences either. Can you handle that?"

Nathan nodded. "I think so."

"Good. By the way, did everyone else talk to the other counselors?"

Nathan nodded. "Even I did. The child psychologist wants to see the children again too, so I guess we'll see you tomorrow then."

Liz nodded. "Just remember to encourage her."

"I will, thank you," Nathan replied. He started toward the door, but then, he had a sudden thought. "Uh, what do I tell her?"

"What?" Liz asked, confused.

"She's going to want to know what we talked about," Nathan explained.

"Just tell her I wanted your address just in case. She'll understand."

Nathan was confused, but he nodded. "See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Liz confirmed as Nathan walked back to the waiting room.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Later that night, Kristin was upstairs. She was trying to write in a journal as the doctor instructed, but she was having trouble. Even though she felt just a tad better, it was still hard to see herself in a positive light at the moment. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Kristin said.

Nathan walked in. "Hi," he said, sitting next to her. "The kids are all tucked in; Lucas is out with Ben and Tim. Robert and Kendall went for an evening stroll, and Wendy went to a movie with Liz."

"We're alone once again then," Kristin replied.

"So it seems," Nathan noted. "You've been awfully quiet since we left the doctor's office this morning."

Kristin nodded. "I know," she said. "I've just been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of reflection."

"OK," Nathan said.

Kristin turned and looked at him. "You're not going to ask me what about?"

"Do you want me to ask?"

"Well, it's just that normally, you'd be pushing me to tell you," Kristin observed.

Nathan nodded. "That was before."

"I have a feeling that the good Dr. McGath and you talked about more than just the address," Kristin said.

"I'm not supposed to tell you," Nathan admitted. "She did tell me I need to stop pushing you and to encourage you."

She nodded. "Well, I'll pretend you didn't tell me anything if she asks." Then she added, "That would help."

"I've been trying," he said.

"I know; I can see that."

"So what is it you have there?" he asked, "That is, if you want to tell me."

Kristin thought for a moment. "Well, I'm supposed to write down three positive qualities about myself for my session tomorrow. I'm having some difficulty," she admitted.

"Well, I can think of a million wonderful things about you," Nathan admitted.

"Not _physica_l," Kristin stressed.

"I wasn't talking about physical," Nathan replied. "If I were, then there'd be two million wonderful things to list."

She blushed. "You're being very sweet to me, and I love you for it," she said with a small smile.

"That's my job," he said. "I've missed this."

"Me too," she admitted. "I'm sorry things have been so…chaotic."

"It's not your fault, so don't apologize. So, you really can't think of three positive things about yourself?" he asked in disbelief.

Kristin sighed. "No," she admitted. "I know the point of the exercise-obviously, I've lost my self-esteem, my self-worth, and Liz wants me to see it again, to find it. I honestly don't think much of myself lately."

"You know I can't do this for you," Nathan said. "But maybe I can help you."

"How?"

"By helping you remember. How about we talk about some times when you did feel good about yourself?" Nathan suggested.

"Like when?"

Nathan thought for a moment. "How about the time when you and the others were stuck in Hurricane Sheila?"

Kristin scoffed. "Nathan, that's a horrible memory. We were terribly frightened, and we didn't know if we were going to get through it alive."

"Yes, but you did," Nathan pointed out. "And, I heard nothing but wonderful things about you on that mission from the others, even from Ford. And you remember how you two clashed at first."

Kristin nodded. "I suppose I was pretty brave then; I acted with a level head; I tried to encourage the others."

"See, that's three great things about you already. And how about the way you don't let anyone push you around?"

"You mean the fact that I can tell anyone off?" Kristin said with a smile.

"Exactly. Or the fact you don't give up. When everyone told you Cynthia was dead, you wouldn't believe them. I don't know too many mothers who would have done what you did for her."

As the evening went on, they'd talked about so many times in the past when Kristin shone her brightest. And before long, Kristin had written three positive things about herself. When she was finished, she closed the journal and put it aside. She hadn't known Nathan was doing his own writing next to her, but he had finished just a few moments before she had. She leaned against him.

"All finished?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her.

She nodded. "Thank you for all your help. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Oh, I'm sure you could have," Nathan said. "It just might have taken you a little longer. You know, I'm really proud of you, Sweetheart. I hope you know that."

"You are?" she asked, obviously unaware of the fact.

"Of course," Nathan insisted. "You're just about the bravest woman I know. And, I know you're going to get through this now."

Kristin didn't answer right away. After a few moments, Nathan asked, "Kristin?"

"I'm sorry," she said. Nathan could hear in her voice that she was crying. "Happy tears," she insisted. "It's just for the first time, I finally believe it."

Nathan shifted so that he was facing her. "I believe it too," he said. "Is it alright if I kiss you?"

She nodded. "Of course."


	4. Because You Loved Me

**A/N: I do realize there have been some rather happy chapters…and this one will be no exception. However, I do realize that might not make for the best story, considering readers are expecting angst. I do promise it's coming. It's just that I normally alternate between my light and dark sides, and sometimes, I think it's a welcome break to write some happier moments into the story. If you'd like to know exactly what the angst will be, there is a clue in The Frayed Ends of Sanity. It's something that was mentioned, but was never pursued. And, just when everyone thinks they're through the woods, they'll find out it's not that easy. No, I can never make it easy for them. And, yes, I know I'm a sadist. I just felt the need to explain to the readers who are wondering where I'm going. If you stay with me, you'll see. Thank you.**

**Chapter 4**

Kristin woke the next morning feeling well-rested. As she stirred, she felt Nathan's strong arms around her.

"Good morning," he whispered. "Sleep well?"

"Mmm, mmm," she mumbled sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Nearly seven. You have time to go back to sleep if you wanted. We don't need to be at the counseling center until nine," he reminded her.

"Are you going to get up?"

"As much as I'd love to stay with you like this, I have to. I promised the kids I'd make French toast. Are you hungry?"

"Oh, that sounds good. Can I help you?"

Nathan turned to her. "Of course; I'd like that."

They both got out of bed and put on robes. Then, they padded quietly downstairs, since it was obvious everyone else was still sleeping. The two talked quietly and made breakfast together. For Nathan, it was just like old times, like nothing bad had ever happened. For Kristin, it was heaven. Although she knew she had a long way to go, she realized things would be alright. She finally did believe things would be OK.

As Nathan cooked, Kristin set the table. Delicious smells began wafting through the house. And sure enough, the two began to hear doors close and footsteps on the stairs as everyone was awakened.

Wendy was the first downstairs. She walked into the kitchen "I thought I'd see if-" She stopped mid-sentence when she saw Kristin. "Hi," she said in a surprised tone. "Didn't expect to see you."

Kristin smiled at her, knowing what she meant. "I know, but I thought I'd try something different. I am feeling better."

"I can see that, and I'm proud of you," Wendy replied.

Kristin blushed. "I've been hearing that a lot lately."

Wendy put an arm around her. "Then, you'd better start believing it…and get used to hearing it."

Nathan added, "Ditto."

Kristin nodded. "I just can't wait to see the look on the kids' faces when they see me. I feel like I've been away for ages."

As if to answer her, Kristy walked into the kitchen. "Mommy!" she cried, running to wrap her arms around her waist.

Kristin kneeled down to meet her at eye level. "Hello, Sweetheart. Is your brother on his way?"

"I think so."

"Good," Kristin said with a smile, "because I want to talk with you two."

A few seconds later, Harry walked into the room. Kristin walked over to hug him too. Then, she took one of their hands and each of hers and led them to the living room so they could talk privately. She ushered them to the couch and motioned for them to sit.

"I want to apologize to you two. I know I haven't been the best mother lately."

"That's not true," Harry piped up. "You've been wonderful."

Kristin gave him a doubtful look. "No, I haven't. I've been absent; you two have barely seen me since…since…well, you know."

"Daddy told us you were really sad," Kristy offered.

Kristin nodded. "Yes, but that didn't give me the right to shut you two out. I hope you'll forgive me."

"Of course we will," Kristy said. "We love you."

"Oh, I love you too," Kristin said, wrapping her arms around her. "So are you two feeling better about what happened?"

They nodded. "Yeah, Dr. Bob is really nice."

"Dr. Bob?" Kristin asked.

"His real name is Dr. Robert Dennison, but he says everyone calls him Dr. Bob," Harry explained.

"He dresses like a clown," Kristy said with a laugh. It's really funny."

Harry nodded in agreement. "He says he'll help us through the trial."

Kristin nodded. "That's what I'm the most nervous about too."

Kristy squeezed her hand. "Dr. Bob says everything will be fine as long as you tell the truth."

Kristin smiled. "He's right, you know. Listen, why don't you go get some breakfast. I want to talk to Harry alone, OK?"

Kristy gave her mother an unsure look. "Why can't I stay?"

"Oh, don't worry, Sweetie. I'll make sure you and I have some special alone time later too. I just want a little alone time with your brother, OK?"

Kristy thought for a minute. "OK," she agreed. She turned had ran toward the dining room.

Kristin turned back to Harry. "I just want to thank you."

"For what?" Harry asked, confused.

"Because if you hadn't done what you did, I might not be here. That was an extremely brave thing you did. I'm so proud of you." She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tightly.

After a minute, Harry said, "Uh, Mom, you're hurting me."

Kristin immediately released him. "Sorry, I didn't realize." She really didn't think he was squeezing him that hard.

"It's OK," Harry said, brushing it off. "I'm just glad I was there with you. I-I just hope that guy rots in Hell for what he did."

"Harry!" Kristin warned. "Where did you hear that?"

"I-I heard Dad say it. But I mean it too. I'm so angry."

"I know," she said. "But the doctors are going to help us deal with that. As for Mr. Sanderson, well, we have to put our faith in the justice system. You understand that."

Harry nodded.

"And I don't want to hear you use that kind of language again, understand?" she warned, going into her motherly mode.

"Yes, Mother." Then, he added, "Glad to have you back, Mom."

She smiled and gave him one last hug. "We'd better go eat before it's gone, hm?"

An hour and a half later, everyone had eaten, showered, and dressed. It wasn't long before it was time to leave. So, they all loaded into vehicles and headed to Liz's Counseling Center.

They waited in the lobby, but it wasn't long before Liz came out to greet Kristin.

"Good morning," she said with a smile. "Did you do your homework?"

Kristin showed her the journal in her hand.

"And did you do yours?" Liz asked, turning to Nathan.

"I did," he said with a smile.

Kristin gave him a surprised look. "What's she talking about?"

Liz only smiled. "You'll see. I want you both to come back today, that is, if Kristin doesn't mind." Liz gave her an expectant look.

"Not at all," she replied. But she was still rather confused.

Once in her office, she said, "Have a seat." Then, she said, "Kristin, why don't you read me what you've written in your journal?"

"All of it?" she asked hesitantly.

Liz smiled. "Please, don't be shy. There is a point to this exercise."

Kristin nodded. She began, "_November 3, 2021; Three Positive Qualities About Myself. 1. I'm brave. 2. I'm loving. 3. I'm tenacious._

_And if it hadn't been for Nathan, I probably wouldn't have come up with anything. Although I know I've been pushing him away because I felt inadequate and guilty for what happened, he never left my side. Even when I shut him out, he wasn't far away. I wonder how he can be so nice to me when I've been so awful to him. I don't know, but I do know that I'm the luckiest woman alive. Because in my darkest hour, I know he'd never abandon me. He's my rock, and I don't think I've loved him more than I do at this moment_." She closed the journal and set it down next to her.

"That's very good," Liz remarked. "So, you're brave, loving, and tenacious. Would you like to elaborate on those?"

"What?"

"I mean, would you explain how you came up with those. Give me an example."

"Oh," Kristin said, pausing slightly. "Well, being a doctor, I have a general love for everyone around me, a need to help everyone I can."

"OK, good," Liz encouraged.

"And the bravery, well, I have lots of examples of that, but I've been through a hurricane and lived. And, I helped comfort the crew members who were with me. We helped each other actually."

"That's two…one more."

"And, being a scientist, well, I've learned to try, try, and try again. Nothing works out the first time. I don't give up easily."

"Excellent," Liz said with a smile. "And, so do you think any person with these qualities would allow themselves to be ruined by something as traumatic as you went through?"

Kristin shook her head. "No."

"So, you're not going to let yourself become ruined, are you? You're going to pick yourself up and live your life the way you want to."

Kristin nodded. "I am," she promised. "I realize I still have a way to go, but I think I'm starting to realize that I can get through this."

Liz smiled. "Yes, I know you can. Now, I know you want to know why Nathan's in here. Well, you told me it's been difficult for you two to communicate. Well, I wanted him to remind you that he loves you, that he cares for you, and that he's there for you too. So, I gave him an assignment. Nathan, if you will."

Nathan took a piece of paper out of his shirt pocket and unfolded it. He began to read:

"_Dr. McGath asked me to write down three reasons why I love my wife, but when I sat down and thought about it, I couldn't think of three. I thought of so many more_." He stole a glance from Kristin who looked like she had tears in her eyes already. He turned to the doctor. "I'll just read the first three, but I wrote a whole list here."

Liz smiled. "Very well. I'm sure you can share the rest with Kristin in private."

Nathan nodded and continued, "1._ No matter what I do, Kristin always forgives me. I know I haven't always been perfect, and I've made a lot of mistakes…too many. But, at the end of the day, she's still there._

2. _She's stubborn as Hell. I know that sounds like a bad quality, but it's not. She's a fighter. She sticks to her guns, and she doesn't give up._

3. _She's so smart. Some men are intimidated by that, but I'll tell you what, she knows more than about five men put together. Most people don't take her to be as smart as she is. I think there's days she doesn't realize she's as smart as she is. But, I admire this so much._"

Nathan stopped and folded up the paper once again. "Those are the first three."

"Well done," Liz replied. She turned to Kristin. "What do you think?"

Kristin was wiping tears away from her eyes. "I think I'm the luckiest _woman _alive."

Liz smiled. "Well, I don't doubt it. Now, Nathan, I'm sorry to ask you this, but I'd like you to go back to the lobby."

Nathan cast a glance at Kristin.

"Don't worry," Liz said, "You'll see her again soon. It's just that she has more healing to do, and she needs to deal with more of her feelings. With you here, she might not be as open."

Kristin nodded her confirmation. "I'll see you soon."

With that, Nathan left, and the session continued.

Forty-five minutes later, Kristin entered the lobby. Nathan could tell she'd been crying. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said. "Don't worry…I just purged some old guilt. You need to understand it's part of the healing process."

He wrapped his arms around her. "It just hurts me to see you this way."

She nodded. "I know. Let's go home. Where are the kids?"

Robert, Kendall, and Lucas took them for ice cream; then, they're going to the playground. I hope you don't mind."

"I guess not. We can see them later. What about Wendy?"

"She said something about going to see how the rest of the crew was doing. Looks like we're alone once again."

"That's not so bad," she replied. "I'd like to hear what else you wrote about me."

Nathan nodded. "Let's go home, Mrs. Bridger."


	5. Break Me

**Chapter 5**

Once they returned back to the house, Nathan turned to Kristin. "So, what would you like to do now?"

Without a word, she took his hand and led him upstairs to the bedroom. Once there, she closed the door behind them. "I want you to read me more of that list of yours," she said.

"Oh," Nathan replied, sitting on the bed. "Well, I did go against what the doctor had said."

"How's that?" she asked, sitting next to him.

"I did mention a few physical things," he said, blushing slightly. "I wasn't supposed to do that."

"I don't mind," she said encouragingly.

Once again, Nathan took the piece of paper out of his shirt pocket and continued reading from where he left off in the doctor's office. "4_. She has long, gorgeous legs. I love the way they look in a skirt_," he said with a smile.

Kristin was, indeed, wearing a skirt that day. She slipped off her shoes and gently moved her legs so they were over his lap. "What _else_ did you write?" she asked trying to look over his shoulder.

Nathan set the paper aside and gently pushed her so she was laying down. He sat propped on his elbows looking down at her. "That I love your gorgeous eyes, your adorable, little nose." Then, he leaned close to her. "Your full, pouty lips," he whispered before capturing her mouth with his own.

"Hm," Kristin mumbled as the kiss deepened.

The kiss lingered for several long moments before Nathan finally broke it to take a breath. Then, he began to trail tiny, nipping kisses along her jaw until he reached her neck. Then, he continued his assault, causing her to moan softly as kissed her neck and throat.

Nathan wanted her, wanted her with every fiber of his being. However, he knew that physically, she was still healing. There were still remnants of fading bruises that he was sure still ached, although she never said anything. And, she still had broken ribs. And, mentally, he wasn't sure if she was ready. He wasn't about to take advantage of the situation. After a few more kisses he stopped. "Maybe we should go downstairs before this gets too much for the both of us," he whispered.

"Who says we have to stop?" she whispered huskily.

"A-are you sure?" he asked. "I don't want to hurt you."

She smiled softly. "You won't. If it's too much, I'll tell you, but I think I'm ready, both physically _and _mentally."

Nathan still hesitated slightly.

Kristin sensed that, so she unbuttoned her blouse, slipped it off, and threw it on the floor to emphasize her point. "Please," she pleaded huskily.

Nathan could see the passion in her eyes and could resist her no more. He captured her lips once again, and hands explored and began to shed clothing until there were no barriers between them. Nathan then gave her lips one final kiss before he moved to join with her. Soon, soft gasps and moans filled the air until they both found release.

Afterwards, the two laid entwined in one another's arms. "That was wonderful," Kristin mumbled.

Nathan kissed her forehead. "You can say that again. God, I missed you."

Kristin smiled. "Me too."

"Hmmm…so you're OK then?" Nathan asked, his voice laced with concern. "I didn't hurt you?"

"Did it _sound _like you were hurting me?" she teased. "Of course not."

Nathan captured her lips in response. "I love you."

"I love you too. What would you like to do now?" she asked lazily.

Nathan thought for a moment. "Well, we could see if I won't hurt you again," he teased.

Kristin smiled. "We could, but you should probably save some of that for later, Tiger. The children could be home any minute."

"Later? Now there's an interesting thought…that gives me time to plan."

"Plan for what?"

"You'll find out later. As much as I'd love to stay with you like this for the rest of the day, we probably should get dressed."

"I guess," Kristin said reluctantly. But when all this is over, I think we need to get away by ourselves. I don't think we've finished our reunion properly."

"I think that can be arranged. A weekend on the island…just the two of us."

"Now you're talking," Kristin laughed as she put her blouse back on and started buttoning it up once again.

Suddenly, they heard the front door open. "Looks like we finished just in time," Nathan pointed out.

Kristin nodded her agreement. But, before she could say anything, they heard Robert calling, "Dad? Kristin? Where are you guys?"

Kristin looked to Nathan, who had finished dressing. She, however, still had to fasten her skirt.

"I'll see you downstairs," he said, opening the door. "I'll be right down," Nathan called to Robert. He looked back at Kristin.

"Go," she confirmed. "I'll see you in a minute."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan walked downstairs to find Robert looking concerned. "Is something wrong?" Nathan asked worriedly.

"We're not sure," Robert admitted. "We ate our ice cream and took the kids to the park; we thought everything was fine. But Harry…he doesn't look well. He says he'll be fine, but he threw up as soon as we got to the park. And he looks really pale."

"Where is he?"

"In the living room. He's on the couch. Kendall's with him. Lucas is with Michael and Kristy in the rec room in case it's something contagious.

Without hesitation, Nathan made his way into the living room; Robert followed him. "Hey there, Kiddo," Nathan said, crouching down next the couch. "What's going on?"

Kendall and Robert exited, leaving Nathan to check on the boy.

"Hi, Dad," Harry said weakly. "I-I'm fine…I just had a little stomachache."

Nathan felt his forehead. "You might have more than just a stomachache," Nathan replied. "Your mom will be down here in just a minute. She'll examine you properly."

Harry groaned. "Dad, do we have to? Can't I just go to bed for the rest of the day? I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow."

"You might be, but don't you want to know for sure? Would you rather have Wendy examine you?"

"No, it's not that," Harry assured him. "It's just-"

But before Harry could answer, Kristin came in. "Oh, Robert and Kendall told me what happened." She started looking Harry over. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mom," Harry tried to explain. "I just want to go to bed, I think."

"Harry, you need to let your mom check things out. With your history, you know you have to watch your health," Nathan explained gently.

"I know," Harry replied, but the tears were evident in his voice.

"Harry, Sweetheart, am I making you uncomfortable?" Kristin asked. "If you'd rather Dr. Smith checked you over, I could-"

"No, Mom."

"Then, what's the matter?"

Harry looked at both his parents; the worry on their faces was evident, and he knew they'd been through so much in the past weeks. But he knew his problem wasn't going away. He'd hoped it would, but he only felt worse as the days went on. After some hesitation, he sighed. "I-it's my back. It's been killing me, and I don't know why. And, I've been feeling really sick, like I have to throw up all the time."

"How long has this been going on?" Nathan asked.

"A couple of days," Harry replied.

"Why in the world didn't you say anything?" Kristin asked.

"B-because of you," Harry replied. "I didn't want to worry you…you've been so upset lately."

Tears stung Kristin's eyes. Her heart ached at these words. She took a few moments to choke back her tears before speaking. "We've always told you when you have a problem, you can tell us no matter what."

"I know," Harry said. "And it's only been a couple days…honest. I just thought it'd go away."

Kristin nodded. Nathan could see how upset she looked and put an arm around her. "You know your mother never meant for you to feel like you had to hide your problems."

Harry nodded. "I'm sorry, Mom…please don't cry."

Kristin wiped her eyes with her hands. "I'm not," she said, managing a smile. "I'm just worried about you now. Can we do an exam?"

Harry nodded. "As long as we can go upstairs."

"That can be arranged," Nathan replied, scooping the boy up into his arms and climbing up the stairs as Kristin followed.

"Put him on his bed," she ordered gently. "I just need to go get my bag."

A minute later, she arrived in Harry's room, closing the door. "Now let me have a look. Let's take off your shirt."

Nathan helped the boy slip his T-shirt off, and both parents looked at his back. Kristin gasped slightly at the hideous, purple bruise across the small of the boy's back.

Nathan asked, "What the hell happened?"

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"N-nothing," Kristin assured. "You just have a little bruise…nothing to worry about." She looked at Nathan who was giving her an odd look. "Um, I want to talk to your dad for just a minute. You just lie back and rest, hm?"

She stood and motioned for Nathan to follow her. He followed her out of Harry's room and into their bedroom.

After Kristin closed the door, Nathan asked, "Would you like to tell me what the hell is going on? Why did you lie to him?"

Kristin held up her hands for him to stop for a moment. "Nathan, you don't understand. I'd completely forgotten…how could I be so stupid?" The last sentence wasn't said to anyone in particular.

"What?"

"Harry's cancer check," Kristin replied. "With everything that happened, well, it was neglected."

"So? Can't you just have Wendy do it right here?"

"It's not that simple," Kristin explained. She sighed heavily as the situation sunk in. "That bruise…well, he has to be checked immediately."

"Are you saying he has cancer again?" Nathan asked worriedly.

Kristin was silent for a moment. "I don't know," she said, her voice thick since there were tears threatening to fall. "But it's a definite possibility.


	6. On The Outside Looking In

**Chapter 6**

By afternoon, they'd made an appointment via a recommendation from Wendy. While she couldn't confirm that Harry was ill again, she felt it best they see someone right away. So, she pulled a few strings with Dr. Karen Elders. She specialized in childhood cancers.

Kristin, Nathan, Harry, and Kristy were seated in the waiting room. Nathan and Kristin had barely said two words to one another since they'd discovered Harry might be sick, so the family sat mainly in silence, save for Kristy, who asked lots of questions.

"When is the nurse going to call us?" Kristy asked impatiently. "We've been waiting a long time."

"We've only been waiting about ten minutes," Nathan said gently. He looked over to Kristin, who had her arm around Harry; Harry's head rested on her arm. "How are you feeling, Kiddo?" he asked Harry.

"Bad," Harry admitted.

Before anyone could answer, a nurse with a smile came into the waiting room and stood before them. "You're the Bridger family? I'm Hannah; follow me please."

They all stood. She showed them to a room and asked several questions about Harry's condition.

"Harry, why don't you come with me, and we'll weigh you, OK?" She offered her hand to Harry, and he accepted.

Kristin stood as well to follow them out, but Hannah stopped her. "Don't worry, Mom. He'll be back in a minute. You can stay here."

Kristin nodded, but she wasn't happy about that. Kristin sat back down. Nathan reached over to take her hand, but she pulled it away.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, she said. "I'm just worried." She looked away from him, eyeing the door.

Nathan rubbed her shoulders. "We're going to get through this."

Kristin said nothing, however.

Nathan sighed and pulled Kristy up onto his lap.

A minute later, Harry and Hannah returned as promised. "See, Mom, that wasn't too long, was it?" Hannah said with a smile.

Kristin merely shook her head and pulled Harry into her arms.

Hannah reached into a drawer and took out a dressing gown. "You can leave your underwear on," she instructed, but you'll have to take everything else off, OK? The doctor will be in here shortly."

"Thank you," Nathan said as she left.

Several minutes later, a middle-aged brunette walked in. "Hello, there," she greeted. She extended her hand to each of them. "I'm Dr. Karen Elders. And, you're the Bridger family. Dr. Smith explained the situation to me, but why don't you tell me what's going on, Harry?"

Well, I've been having this pain in my back for a few days. And, I just haven't been very well lately; I've been really tired, like I can't get enough sleep."

"OK," the doctor commented as she was taking notes. "And what have you noticed, Mom and Dad?"

Nathan looked at Kristin. She didn't seem eager to talk, so Nathan spoke first. "Well, he's got this bruise on his back."

"And when did you notice that?" the doctor asked.

"Only today," he said. "Harry hadn't mentioned feeling sick until this morning." Then, he added, "We've been through a lot the past few weeks, so he was afraid to tell us."

"Can I ask what happened?"

"Harry, his mother, and sister were attacked," Nathan said, not wishing to go into great detail.

"Oh my goodness! Well, I'm sorry you went through that, but at least you're all still alive to tell about it. This bruise, it's not from the attack?"

"I don't think so," Harry explained. "I was never hit there."

"OK; do you have anything to add?" she asked Kristin. "Wendy mentioned you're a doctor as well."

Kristin nodded. "Not a very good one, I'm afraid since I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary," she replied quietly.

"It's not your fault; sometimes, things like this happen," the doctor said. She looked at Harry. "Why don't you get up on the table, and we'll have a look?"

She began her examination with various tools. Then, she examined Harry's back. She began to feel the area, and Harry protested by saying, "Ouch."

"Sorry…does that hurt?"

"Yeah," Harry admitted.

"I won't poke around too much," she promised, "but I have to feel around a little more." After a few more minutes, she finished and turned to Nathan and Kristin.

"Well?" Kristin asked worriedly.

"Well, you know we'll have to do some blood tests first," the doctor answered. "Harry can get dressed and then we'll send you down to the lab. It won't take long for the results."

"But what are your initial thoughts?" Nathan pressed.

"Initially, I'd say there's definitely something making Harry ill. That's all I'm saying at the moment. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

Once she was gone, Harry got redressed. Then, they all made their way to the lab where blood was drawn.

"Why don't we go get something to eat since we have a while before the second appointment?" Nathan suggested.

"I guess so," Harry replied. Kristy echoed her approval. Kristin, on the other hand, was silent. Nathan put his arm around her as they walked to the parking lot.

"What do you feel like? Pizza? Burgers? What do you think?" Nathan asked.

"I don't really care," she admitted. I'm not that hungry. Just go where the kids want."

"Pizza!" Kristy cried.

"Well, why don't we go where Harry wants?" Nathan suggested gently. "What are you hungry for, Buddy?"

Harry thought for a moment. "I guess pizza's OK."

"Fine, pizza it is," Nathan said, driving to a nearby pizza parlor.

They got a table and ordered. "Can we go play in the game room?" Kristy asked, since the pizza parlor had an arcade.

Nathan dug into his pocket and pulled out few bills. "You two go have a little fun. I'll come get you when the food arrives."

"Just be careful," Kristin warned. She was mainly talking to Harry.

"OK, Mom," he answered, knowing exactly what she meant.

Kristin turned back to Nathan. "Are you sure that was such a good idea?"

"What?" he asked innocently.

"I really don't think we should be letting him go off by himself," she explained.

"He's not going to break," Nathan reminded. "I don't see what the harm is in letting him have some fun while he still can."

"The _harm_ is that his immune system could be weakened. I'd really rather he'd have stayed right here."

"It's only going to be about ten minutes. He's not a baby."

"I can't believe you're being so nonchalant about this," she said, her voice getting a little louder.

"I'm_ not_ being nonchalant, but I'm not going to treat him like his life is over either," Nathan shot back, matching her tone.

"Is _that_ what you think I'm doing?" she yelled standing up.

Nathan looked around and noticed that the other parlor patrons were staring at them. "Sit down," he said quietly. "You're causing a scene."

"_I'm_ causing a scene?" she said, speaking quieter. "Well, forgive me if I'm concerned about my son's life, or the fact that it might be cut short."

Nathan sighed. "I never said I wasn't concerned either."

"But, you're blaming me for acting that way."

"No, I'm not blaming you…but maybe we should just enjoy the family time together, hm?" Nathan suggested. "We can always continue this conversation after we find out what we're dealing with here."

"Fine," Kristin answered, but the tone of her voice said she was still angry.

A short time later, the pizza arrived, and Nathan went to fetch the children. After eating, they left and went back to the clinic.

After waiting for another twenty minutes, it was finally time for their second appointment. They were taken back to a room, but they didn't have to wait long for the doctor this time.

Dr. Elders walked in only a few minutes later. She sighed heavily before beginning. "Well, folks, there's no easy way for me to say this, but it looks like Harry's cancer has indeed returned." She paused slightly as she heard soft crying from Kristin as she buried her face in Nathan's shoulder. "We'll have to run further tests, but according to his white blood cell count, it's still in the early stages. However, my concern is for his kidneys at the moment."

"Why is that?" Nathan asked, his arms around Kristin.

"The bruising on Harry's back is indicative of kidney enlargement, which can happen with leukemia, especially repeated cases. I'd like to schedule him for further testing tomorrow morning and take an ultrasound of his kidneys. Then, we'll discuss treatment options. Does that sound good?"

They nodded, not sure of what else to say. Dr. Elders handed them an appointment card with the appointment time written on it. "My advice to you is to go home and rest, Harry. The rest of you, make sure he's comfortable. I'll see you tomorrow."

The doctor left the room, and Nathan urged Kristin to cease her crying, at least for the time being. "Why don't we go home?"

She nodded, and they walked out of the hospital in silence.

Once in the car, Kristy asked, "I-is Harry going to die?"

This question caused Kristin to cry once again. But, Nathan couldn't blame his young daughter; it was a logical question, and he couldn't blame her for wondering. They were all wondering the same thing. It was scary, but the key was to remain positive. "We're going to do everything we can to make sure that doesn't happen."

"I-I'm sorry I'm sick," Harry said. "I know everyone's sad about it."

"It's not your fault," Nathan assured him.

"Mom?" Harry said. Kristin was still crying, and he didn't want to see his mother cry anymore.

"Yes?" Kristin asked through her tears.

"Please don't be sad; I'll be OK."

She nodded and tried to hold her tears in.

Once they were home, Nathan helped Harry upstairs and put him to bed. "Now, you heard what the doctor said. You get some rest, OK?" He kissed him on the cheek.

"Can I read for a while?"

"I guess that's OK. Nathan picked up the book from the bedside table and handed it to him. "_Jaws_? Aren't you a little young for that?"

Harry smiled. "You know I love sharks."

"Alright…just make sure you sleep too, or your mother will get upset."

"Is she going to be OK? She barely said anything after the doctor's."

"Well, you can't blame her for worrying; I'll talk to her. She'll be fine. Sleep well, Kiddo."

"See you later, Dad."

Nathan went downstairs to give the news to the other members of the household. They were all upset at the news as well. Nathan, however, felt the need to excuse himself from all the questions. "I really need to go check on Kristin," he explained.

The others nodded, and Wendy tried to explain to the others what she could while Nathan made his way up the stairs.

He knocked on the door and walked in. Kristin was lying on the bed, sobbing softly. "How you doing?" he asked.

"How does it look?" she asked through her tears.

He sat down next to her. "You can't spend your time crying."

Kristin said nothing.

"Talk to me, Honey," Nathan urged.

"I can't," she said.

"I refuse to let you shut me out again," Nathan said, a little angrily.

Kristin sat up. "And I refuse to let you give me an ultimatum," she said just as angrily.

"So, is that how it's going to be? You're going to shut everyone out again? You know, you're only thinking about yourself right now," he pointed out. "Did you ever think how Harry's feeling?"

"For your information, yes, every Goddamned day! And, how dare you accuse me of thinking of myself!" With that she stood to leave, hand on the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere away from you!" she yelled, slamming the door behind her.


	7. It Matters to Me

**Chapter 7**

Nathan debated going after her for a moment, but he opted against it, deciding it was no use. He decided to go downstairs and see how the others were doing. Wendy passed him on the stairs.

"I heard shouting," she said quietly.

Nathan smiled sheepishly. "As you might guess, Kristin's emotions are all over the place again."

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Wendy offered.

Nathan shook his head. "Not right now. I think she needs time alone, wherever that might be. I think she'll calm down on her own, hopefully. Where's everyone else?"

"Robert and Kendall took Harry and Kristy out swimming, to take their minds off everything," Wendy explained.

"At least they didn't hear the argument," Nathan thought out loud.

"Do you want to talk?"

"Would you like to help me make dinner?" Nathan asked.

Wendy nodded, and the two walked to the kitchen. "I know it probably slipped everyone's mind, so I called Liz and told her the situation. She's going to make arrangements to come over in the afternoon for a session with Kristin. She said she'll call."

Nathan nodded. "We had forgotten," he admitted. "Thanks. Maybe she'll get through to her."

"She'll certainly try," Wendy said.

Nathan handed Wendy some tomatoes. "I thought we'd have spaghetti tonight. Can you dice those for me?"

"Sure thing," she said, taking out a cutting board and a knife while Nathan chopped basil and parsley. "You really can't blame her, you know," she said after a few minutes

"What?" Nathan asked, lost in thought.

"I said you really can't blame her, Kristin, that is."

Nathan was taken aback. "Do you realize how incredibly selfish she's acting?"

"She's just found out that her son has cancer, after experiencing horrible emotional turmoil herself. I don't think her reaction is unfounded."

"But she's taking a step backward," Nathan countered. "She was doing so well."

"Maybe, or maybe she was putting on a brave front. She was far from cured. You knew that, right?"

"That's what she said, but she was so much like her old self…" Nathan said thoughtfully. "It was like nothing bad had ever happened for a moment."

"You need to remember she needs time. Everyone has to deal with the situation in their own way. You can't expect he to be brave for Harry, which I know is what you're doing," she pointed out.

"Is that obvious?"

Wendy smiled. "You seem to forget I'm an empath…I feel it."

Nathan nodded. "I'm just as broken-hearted as she is, you know," he said sadly.

"I know you are," Wendy said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

The two worked in silence for the remainder of the dinner preparation. Soon, they heard the children laughing as they walked in from the beach.

"Why don't you all get cleaned up for dinner?" Nathan asked.

"Where's Mommy?" Kristy asked Nathan as Robert, Kendall, Lucas, and Michael headed upstairs to change into some dry clothes.

Nathan hesitated. He couldn't possibly tell her he didn't know. "She's lying down," Nathan replied. "She's not feeling very well. You'd better go take that wet swimsuit off, OK?"

"OK, Kristy replied. "What about Harry?"

"I'll see how he feels. He might want to eat in bed. Just go," Nathan urged gently.

Kristy finally did as she was told, but Nathan could tell how sad she was. He turned to Wendy. "Maybe I should go see if Kristin's coming down to dinner?"

"Just be gentle," she warned.

He nodded and headed upstairs. The only problem was, he wasn't sure where exactly she was. He checked their bedroom by chance, but she wasn't there. He decided to change his mind and check on Harry first. He opened the door quietly and saw Kristin and Harry curled up in the bed together sleeping. He could tell from her tear-stained face she'd cried for a long time. At least his mind was at rest, knowing where she was now. He leaned over and kissed them both on the cheek, being careful not to wake them. Then, he headed back downstairs.

"Well?" Wendy asked expectantly.

"She and Harry are asleep; we'll just make a plate for each of them and set it aside."

"I'll help you," Wendy offered.

The others all ate, but the conversation was not as lively as it might have been in the past. Everyone was quiet, each person feeling the sadness and tension. After dinner, Kendall and Robert offered to take Kristy and Michael to see another movie; Lucas had plans with some of the other _seaQuest_ crew members. Wendy didn't have any plans, but she made a point to go sit on the beach in order to make herself scarce.

Nathan sighed. He knew what they were all doing; part of him appreciated it while the other part felt guilty for it. Once everyone was gone, he headed upstairs. He quietly opened Harry's bedroom door once again. This time, although Harry was still asleep, Kristin wasn't. As soon as she saw it was Nathan, she rolled over so she wouldn't have to see him.

Nathan, however, was not one to be pushed away so quickly. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He hesitated slightly and placed a gentle hand to her back.

"Please don't," she whispered in protest. Nathan could hear the hoarseness of her voice that indicated she'd been crying.

Nathan sighed. "There're two plates in the refrigerator for you and Harry if you're hungry."

Kristin nodded, but said nothing.

"Why don't you come downstairs?" Nathan said in an attempt to talk with her.

She shook her head once again. "I don't want to see anyone."

"Everyone's gone; it's just us…please."

Kristin thought for a moment. "For a little while." She shifted carefully on the bed, so as not to wake Harry.

The two quietly made their way downstairs. They stood in the entryway for a moment. "Are you hungry?" Nathan asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "A little."

"Come on, I'll heat it up for you," Nathan told her.

Kristin followed him into the kitchen, but stood in the doorway while he got out a clean fork and a knife for her and started reheating her meal.

"You can sit down, you know," Nathan said gently.

Kristin did after a brief moment of hesitation. A few minutes later, Nathan set the plate in front of her.

"This looks good; thank you," she muttered and took a bite.

"You're welcome." The two sat in silence for several minutes. Finally, Nathan asked, "Are you still angry?"

"What do you think? You accused me of being selfish."

"It's just that I don't know how to treat you," Nathan admitted. "One minute, you're fine; the next, you're sobbing. Why do you keep pushing me away? This morning….well, this morning, you were throwing yourself at me. I thought you were feeling better."

"I was, but this kind of threw a wrench in the works. And, I'm not like you," she said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She pushed the plate away, only a few bites eaten, and stood. "Because I don't handle things like you do. You want me to be like you; I can't."

"I don't expect you to be like me," Nathan countered.

"Well, you don't like the reaction I'm having. I can't help it."

"Well, you're acting like he's going to die tomorrow. You need to be rational," Nathan argued.

"Rational? Well, excuse me for being…emotionally fragile. And isn't it the pot calling the kettle black? I've been the strong one in this relationship for a long time, and now the tables are turned…and you can't seem to handle it!" she yelled.

"What do you mean, you've been the strong one?" Nathan yelled back.

"You've always been the one who was emotionally insecure. When we first realized we had…feelings for one another, I had to reassure you constantly, emotionally."

Nathan shook his head. "That was completely different. In a short time, I lost everything I cared about. Excuse me!"

"And for so long, you failed to see what was right in front of you! I was there, and you didn't see it. You pushed me aside, ignored me…but I gave you chance after chance. And eventually, you gave in. And now the shoe's on the other foot."

Nathan scoffed slightly. "So, I'm just supposed to accept that you're having an emotional crisis and not say a damn thing? I'm just supposed to let you push me away, push Kristy away…all because Harry's sick? Don't you think I'm as broken up as you are? Yet, I'm not walking around all depressed," Nathan shouted. "Wasn't it you who got so upset when I wouldn't speak to you about my nightmares? Wasn't it you who got upset. Think of how I feel!"

"How you feel?" Kristin repeated, tears starting to fall. "I was thinking of how you feel. In fact, I'm tired of thinking about how everyone else feels! For once, I'm focusing on how I feel. And maybe you should too!"

"I would if I knew what it was you were feeling! You won't talk to me!"

"Maybe it's because you're being an insensitive bastard!" Kristin yelled. She walked toward the back door.

"Where are you going? I'm not finished."

"Go to Hell!" she yelled, slamming the door behind her. She walked to the beach and threw herself down in the sand. She buried her head in her hands and sobbed, unaware that Wendy was nearby. Kristin felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and jumped.

"I didn't mean to startle you," Wendy said gently. Kristin allowed her to put her arms around her. "Just let it out," Wendy whispered.

Kristin did so, sobbing uncontrollably for a long time. She was grateful that Wendy never forced her to say anything, never forced her to voice what she was feeling. The truth was, she was feeling so many things, she couldn't get a handle on them. After a while, her tears subsided until finally, she was empty.

"Feel better?" Wendy asked.

Kristin nodded. "A little," she answered, her voice thick. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Honey. You're having a bad time of things lately."

Kristin nodded. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize to me," Wendy reassured her. "I think you're handling it better than some people would. You've been through Hell lately."

"I wish Nathan was as understanding as you are. I wish I could act differently…but I can't, at least not right now."

"Liz will help you, you know," Wendy began.

"Liz…oh my God! I completely forgot. I never even called her office," Kristin realized.

"I did," Wendy said. "I knew you had too much going on. She's going to call you tomorrow afternoon, assuming you'd be finished by then. She wants to come to you, thinking that'd be easier for you."

"I'm not sure-" Kristin started.

"No," Wendy said gently. "You can't stop seeing her…not yet. Think of it like an open wound. You started healing, but you cut yourself again. If you don't get it looked at, it'll never heal. You will heal…but only if you continue seeing her. It sounds like you all need to see her."

"Like a family session?"

Wendy nodded. "I don't think it would hurt, especially with the depositions coming up in a few days."

"Oh, I'd forgotten about those too. I suppose the lawyers need to be informed about Harry too."

Wendy nodded. "Liz mentioned she'd tell them. They'll work around it." After a few minutes Wendy asked, "Do you want to go back inside?" She stroked Kristin's hair gently.

"You can go if you'd like. I think I'd like to stay out here for a bit longer," Kristin said.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. However, she noticed Wendy made no attempt to leave. She turned to her. "I'm fine…go."

"Alright," Wendy said. "See you later."


	8. More Love

**Chapter 8**

Later, Nathan heard the door closing. He bolted downstairs, hoping it was Kristin, but he found it was Robert, Kendall, Michael, and Kristy. He greeted them and walked to the back door, staring out the window at the tiny from sitting on the sand. Lost in thought, he didn't notice Wendy behind him.

"You really need to give her time," she said gently.

Nathan turned to her. "So going out after her would be a bad idea?"

"I know you're worried…everyone is. But, I really would leave her alone."

"Is that what she said? That she wants to be left alone?"

"Not in so many words; she wishes you'd understand her though," Wendy offered.

"She feels like I'm not on her side?" Nathan said, honestly not realizing the fact she felt that way. "I didn't mean for it to sound that way."

"I know, and I think, deep down, she knows it too. She's just dealing with so much. Let her calm down, think it through. When she's ready, she'll talk." Then, noticing Nathan still needed a little convincing, she asked, "You do love her, don't you?"

Nathan was taken aback. "Of course I do. I act like I do, don't I?"

"Sometimes," Wendy assured him. "Other times, it's hard for an outsider to see. Maybe Kristin feels the same way."

Nathan frowned.

"The point is," Wendy continued, "show her you love her. Don't push her. If you love her, let her go; she'll come back to you."

Nathan sighed. "It's not going to be easy for me to forget she's out there."

Wendy smiled. "How about a game of pool?"

Nathan stole one last glance out the window. Then, he turned back to Wendy. "You're on," he said, realizing there was nothing more he could do.

Hours later, Nathan and Wendy finally decided to turn in. Nathan stole one last glance out the window, but he didn't see Kristin.

"Maybe she went up to bed?" Wendy suggested.

"Maybe," Nathan said. "Good night."

"Good night," Wendy called as she headed to her room.

Nathan headed to his room as well, hoping Wendy was right. However, he found the room empty. Feeling disappointed, he glanced out the window once more. Sure enough, he saw the small form of a woman walking along the beach-Kristin. He watched as she stopped and looked up toward the window. For a moment, their eyes met. A moment later, however, Kristin turned away again. But, Nathan took it as a good sign, since she was walking back toward the house. He turned to get ready for bed. He lie down and waited for Kristin. Soon, he drifted off to sleep.

Hours later, Nathan awoke. Although he wasn't sure of the time, he knew it wasn't morning. And, to his dismay, the spot next to him was empty. He quietly went downstairs, hoping to find her. He at least needed to know she was safe. He did find her, asleep on the couch. He stopped and watched her for several minutes, part of him hoping she'd wake up, the other part of him wanting her to stay just as she was. He leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek and whispered, "I love you." Then, he quietly headed back up to bed, hoping that tomorrow would be better.

The next morning, Nathan helped woke Harry up. "Hey Kiddo, we have to get to the doctor."

Harry did wake up, but he had a hard time getting up. "I'm just so tired."

"I know, Buddy," Nathan said. "I'll help you."

"I want Mom," Harry sighed.

As if on cue, Kristin entered, already showered and dressed. "I'll help him," she said gently. "You just go get ready."

Nathan stood in the doorway for a minute, watching the two. Deciding they would be fine, he left the room to shower.

A short time later, he was dressed and ready. He headed downstairs. Most of the others were still asleep. Wendy, Kristin, and Harry were in the kitchen. Kristin was trying to get Harry to eat something.

"You need to eat, Sweetheart," Kristin urged.

"I'm not hungry…honest," Harry insisted.

Wendy decided to help, "Harry, just try a little something. It's the only thing that's going to help you get better."

"But-" Harry began.

Nathan took a seat next to him. He looked down at the plate of food: toast and oatmeal. "Just try it, champ," Nathan said gently.

Harry looked at the three worried faces before him. He knew everyone was concerned about him. He knew not eating would only make them more concerned, so he conceded. "Alright." He picked up his spoon and took a small bite.

Kristin smiled slightly, grateful for Nathan's help, although her pride wouldn't let her say it aloud yet.

But Nathan wasn't blind to it. He reached his hand out and placed it over hers. "Did you sleep well?" he asked, trying to make conversation.

"Um, not as well as I would have liked," she admitted, nervous about the conversation.

"Me either," Nathan agreed. "Hopefully, tonight's better."

"Hopefully," she said.

Nathan took his hand away, pleased with the small interaction. He stood and started making some scrambled eggs. "Would anyone else like any eggs?" he asked.

"Please," Wendy said.

Kristin poured herself a cup of coffee. She finally noticed Nathan staring at her. "What?" she asked.

He smiled. "I asked if you wanted some eggs."

She shook her head. "No, thank you."

But Nathan eyed her doubtfully. "You really should eat something."

"Yeah, Mom," Harry added.

Kristin sighed. "Alright."

"Good," Nathan said, pleased once again. Then after a minute, he asked, "Where's Kristy. Didn't you wake her?"

"Oh, I offered to watch her," Wendy said. "They were out late last night…and I think it would be easier for you if she stayed here."

Nathan nodded, remembering the previous day. "Thanks, we appreciate that." He set a plate in front of Kristin.

"Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome."

After breakfast, the three got into the car and headed off to the hospital. Once there, Harry was given ultrasounds and other tests to determine the severity of his illness. Although Nathan and Kristin spoke very little, Nathan took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. She leaned her head against his shoulder, grateful for the support.

A few hours later, after a quiet lunch, they were back in Dr. Elders' office, waiting. Harry had done remarkably well, but it was apparent he was exhausted. Kristin held him closely on her lap, his head leaned against her shoulder as she rocked him gently.

Several minutes later, the doctor arrived.

"Sorry to keep you waiting; it's busy here today. Well, I won't make you wait any longer." She sighed as she opened up the file folder in her hand. "Um, well, the good news is the cancer is still in its early stages. I recommend a round of chemotherapy first." Then after a slight pause, she said, "The bad news is Harry's kidneys…if they continue to enlarge, he'll experience renal failure. His only chance of survival is a transplant. Of course, you and your other family members can be tested to see if you're a match for donation."

Kristin started crying softly; Nathan rubbed her shoulders gently.

"Would you like a few moments alone?" the doctor asked.

Kristin shook her head, quickly composing herself. "No, please. I'd like to be tested right away."

"Likewise," Nathan insisted.

"Very well," the doctor replied. "I'll have you two go down to the lab right away. Do you have a preference as to when we start his radiation?"

They shook their heads. "Then, we'll make him an appointment for tomorrow morning. OK, well, you know where the lab is."

The three went back down to the lab. Afterwards, however, Kristin and Nathan found neither of them were a match. They rode back home in silence. Nathan could see Kristin was nearly in tears again, but she held it in.

Once they were home, Kristy and Wendy were sitting at the table playing Candy Land. "How did it go?" she asked. Then, seeing the expressions on their faces, she answered, "Not well?"

"Uh, Kristy, Sweetheart, can you go play by yourself for a bit?"

"OK," she said, obediently running off.

While Kristin made Harry comfortable on the couch, Nathan sat down and spoke with Wendy. "The cancer isn't progressed too far, but his kidneys are enlarged, signs of early renal failure. He needs a transplant. Neither one of us are a match," he said sadly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Wendy said sympathetically. "What about Kristy?"

"We're going to have to explain it to her," Nathan said. "She might be a match."

Wendy nodded. "I'm sure once everyone gets word of this, they'll all agree to be tested."

He nodded. "Hopefully…I just don't think either of us were prepared for this kind of news."

"You'll get through it," Wendy assured. "Have you two talked."

He shook his head. "I'm just trying to be supportive, but not pushy."

"I understand."

Kristin walked in the dining room. "He's asleep," she said quietly. She pulled out a chair and sat down. The unshed tears in her eyes were evident.

Wendy placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I was just telling Nathan you know we'll all volunteer to be tested."

She nodded, pulling Wendy into an appreciative hug. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Of course," Wendy said, hugging her tightly.

When Kristin broke the hug, she was wiping her eyes. Wendy was as well.

"Oh, I think when this all over, I'll be sick of crying," Kristin muttered.

Wendy nodded, quickly composing herself. "Um, maybe I should leave you two alone; I'll go make some phone calls." She got up and left the room.

Nathan turned to his wife. "You're holding up fairly well today," he noted.

She nodded. "So are you."

"Look, about yesterday…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No," Kristin interrupted, "I'm sorry too. I don't want to fight anymore."

"Me either," Nathan said. "I never wanted to fight in the first place."

"I know…"

Nathan pulled her into his arms. "So, let's not. I love you so much; I just wanted to talk with you."

"I know," Kristin cried into his shoulder. "I'm just scared we're going to lose our son."

"So am I," Nathan said. "But we need to remember to support one another, not fight. We're stronger together."

"I'm not feeling very strong right now," she said, her voice thick.

"It's OK," Nathan said. "I'm here…just let it out, Sweetheart."

Kristin finally did, no longer holding it in, allowing Nathan to comfort her. They stayed that way for a long time. Finally, her tears subsided.

"So, are you ready to go explain this to Kristy?" Nathan asked.

She pulled away and nodded.

He took her hand and led her upstairs. "Let's go."


	9. All You Need is Love

**A/N: I'd just like to remind readers that reviews are like hugs; one is never enough. So, please take the time to review. I'd greatly appreciate it. Thank you.**

**Chapter 9**

"So," Nathan explained to his daughter, "Harry needs a new kidney. You want to help him, right?"

Kristy nodded. "Of course I do." Then she added, "Um, will it hurt?"

"Only a little poke for the test," Kristin explained. "If you are a match, it will hurt a little, but only for a little while."

The girl nodded. "I don't want Harry to die."

"No one does, Sweetheart. That's why we're going to do everything we can to help him," Nathan said. "We're going to make sure that doesn't happen."

"When will they give me this test?"

"We'll talk to the doctor about it tomorrow," Kristin said.

A minute later, there was a knock on the doorframe of Kristy's bedroom. Everyone turned to see Wendy.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but you have a phone call," she said to Kristin.

She nodded, remembering that Dr. McGath would be calling. She looked at Nathan. "I'll finish this; you go ahead."

Kristin exited, but Wendy lagged behind. "I just wanted you to know the whole crew knows…and maybe a few other people as well."

"OK? And just how many is a few?" Nathan asked.

Wendy shrugged her shoulders. "You'll see."

"I'll see? And just when, where, and how?"

Wendy smiled a secretive grin. "We might need to run to the store. I think we'll have a few extra guests for dinner." With that, she left the room before Nathan could ask any more questions.

Nathan sighed. It sounded like a few more than a few; a house full of people might be the last thing they needed, but if it was going to help Harry, then it was necessary. He only hoped one of them would be a match. He turned back to Kristy. "Why don't you go play? I think I'll need to find out just how many people are coming over, hm?"

"OK, Daddy," Kristy said. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Kristy ran off to find Michael while Nathan went to see if he could get any more information from Wendy. On the way downstairs, he bumped into Kristin.

"Liz should be here soon," she said. "She wants to see us both."

Nathan nodded. "Have you spoken with Wendy?"

Kristin shook her head. "No I only just got off the vidphone. Why?"

Before Nathan could tell her, the doorbell rang.

"Who could that be?" Kristin asked.

"Oh, I have a guess," Nathan muttered.

"What?"

"Never mind; why don't you go see?" Nathan said.

Kristin walked to the door and opened it.

"Hi, Doc," Tony greeted with a smile.

"Hello," Dagwood said.

Kristin managed a smile. "Hello," she said. "What brings you two here? Come in, please." She stepped aside to let them pass. "Are you looking for Lucas?"

"Oh, hello you two," Nathan said when he saw them.

They both said their hellos.

Then, Tony began, "To answer your question, Doc, no, actually-"

At that moment, Wendy, who had heard the doorbell, entered the room. "Hi," she greeted them. "Uh, you two can go out back," she said.

"OK," they said.

"See you later, Doc, Cap," Tony said as he exited.

Nathan and Kristin exchanged confused looks. Then, Kristin turned to Wendy. "What's going on?"

Wendy shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing; I hope you don't mind if I have a few of the crew over, do you?"

"Well, I suppose not, but…" Kristin said. She actually did mind under the circumstances. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't have a problem. But, at the moment, their world was upside down, and a house full of people wasn't exactly what she wanted. She didn't think it would be good for Harry either.

"What she means is," Nathan cut in, "it just might be a little too much."

"Don't worry," Wendy said, "we won't bother you. That's why we'll be out back. We'll do the shopping and everything, OK?"

Nathan sighed. "Fine." He looked at Kristin.

"It's fine with me," Kristin added.

Wendy smiled. "Thanks. Well, see you later."

Nathan looked at Kristin and nodded her head towards Wendy. "Something tells me she's up to something more than what she says."

"You see it too?" Kristin asked. "Well, she knows how fragile things are right now; we can trust her."

"How are you doing now?" Nathan asked.

"Alright, at the moment." The two walked into the living room. "Um, maybe we should move him upstairs. I figure we'd meet with Liz in here."

Nathan nodded. "I'll carry him." Nathan picked him up effortlessly and carried the boy up to his bed while Kristin folded the blankets that were on the couch and put them away. It wasn't long before the doorbell rang once again. She walked to answer it.

"Mr. O'Neill; Mr. Ortiz," she greeted.

"Hello, Doctor," they said.

"Please come in," she offered.

"Thanks," Tim said. "Uh, you're looking well. We were really sorry to hear about Harry."

Kristin was taken aback a bit. She hadn't realized the news had reached the crew yet.

Before Kristin could respond, Miguel elbowed Tim…hard. "You weren't supposed to say anything," he muttered quietly.

"What? Oh…sorry," Tim said, turning red.

At that moment, Wendy came back in. "You two, in the back." As the two crossed through the house, she turned to Kristin. "I'll have to make a sign so everyone knows to go out back. I don't want them bothering you."

"It's alright," Kristin said. But her curiosity got the better of her. "Just what are you up to, Dear?"

"Nothing," Wendy insisted.

"Well, that's funny because it doesn't seem like nothing. Tim O'Neill just offered his sympathies to me about Harry, and then, Miguel elbowed him in the ribs and muttered that he wasn't supposed to say anything. What do you suppose that was about?" Kristin asked.

Wendy shrugged her shoulders. "Well, you know, word travels fast. Uh, I better make that sign." With that, she left the room.

Kristin could only shake her head. A moment later, Nathan came back downstairs.

"Is he all settled?" she asked.

"He didn't even wake up," Nathan said. "The poor thing's exhausted."

Kristin nodded. "That's to be expected."

"Who was at the door?" Nathan asked.

"Oh, Tim and Miguel. Wendy pulled them out back before I could find anything else out."

Nathan patted her shoulder gently. "I'm sure we'll find out soon enough."

The doorbell rang once again.

"I have a feeling this is going to keep happening," Nathan muttered. "I'll get it."

Kristin shook her head. "No, Wendy said she was going to make a sign so that everyone goes out back. It's probably Liz."

Nathan answered the door, and this time, it was Liz. "Dr. McGath, it's so nice to see you again."

Liz walked in. "I told you to call me Liz, remember?" she said with a smile. Then she added. "I'm sorry to hear about your son."

"Thank you," Nathan said. "Uh, Kristin is in the living room. We won't be bothered in there."

They headed into the living room. Kristin stood there, waiting. She extended her hand to Liz in greeting.

But, instead of taking her hand, Liz pulled her into a tight hug, which Kristin accepted.

"I know you've had a tough time these past couple days," Liz whispered. "You're going to get through it."

Kristin nodded against her shoulder, feeling fresh tears coming.

Liz broke the hug several minutes later. Kristin was surprised to see she was crying as well. She motioned towards the couch. "You two have a seat." She sat in a chair across from them. "Uh, so Wendy told me a little about Harry's situation. Do you want to tell me what you found out today?"

"Um, well," Kristin began, her voice sounding hoarse, "his cancer is still in the early stages…" her voice trailed off as her tears won.

"Well, that's good news," Liz commented.

Nathan nodded, putting his arm around his wife. "But, his kidneys are enlarged. He's in the early stages of renal failure. He needs a kidney."

"Oh," Liz said, her face falling. "Have you two been tested?"

"Neither of us are a match," Nathan said. "No one else has been tested yet."

"Well, you can add one more to your list…actually, two more," Liz said confidentially. "Arthur will volunteer as well."

Kristin wiped her eyes, trying to compose herself. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Of course…you two are very well-liked by the UEO brass. Once word gets around, people will be lining up. I know it," Liz replied.

Liz talked with them for a long time about dealing with their grief over the situation. Then, she spoke with them about making sure they communicate as a couple and support one another. The session had gone way over schedule when Wendy came in.

"Oh, sorry…I didn't realize you were still-" she started.

"No, it's alright," Liz said. "We were actually just finishing up."

"OK, well, then, I think you two need to come out back. You can come too, Liz," Wendy said with a smile.

"I really should check on Harry first," Kristin insisted.

"No, there's no need," Wendy said. "He's already out back too."

"He is?" Nathan and Kristin both said in unison, their shock and worry evident.

"He was hungry," Wendy said. "He's with Robert."

"Alright," Kristin said, still feeling a little uneasy about it, but accepting it nonetheless.

"Lead the way," Nathan said.

The three walked out back and they found the beach filled with the crew of the_ seaQuest_. There were also a few extras too.

When everyone saw them, they yelled, "Surprise!"

"What is all this?" Nathan asked.

Tony stepped forward. "We all wanted to come here and show our support for the little guy. We all want to be tested as soon as possible."

Kristin's hands flew up to her face as she started crying once again, only this time, they were happy tears. She couldn't believe how supportive they all were.

Nathan put an arm around her and turned to the crowd. "We don't know how to thank you all."

"How about letting us eat?" he heard a familiar voice say.

They turned in the direction of the voice. "Ben?" Nathan said.

He stepped forward, in his arms was a baby boy. Katie followed holding a baby girl.

"I can't believe you two are here," Nathan said.

"Wendy called us and told us. We knew we wanted to help," Katie explained. "And neither of you have met our little bundles. "This is Marina."

Kristin wiped her eyes and peered at the sleeping girl. "She looks like you."

"And this little guy is Liam," Ben said.

"Uh, I'd hate to interrupt," Wendy said. "But there's one more surprise."

Nathan and Kristin turned to see another group of familiar faces.

"Mom!" Cynthia said as she ran to her mother, wrapping her in a tight squeeze.

"Cynthia! I thought you couldn't get away!" Kristin said.

"Well, we made an exception. This was actually planned last week." She broke the hug and gave Nathan one as well. Then, she motioned for the others to come forward-Malique, Crystal, and Maggie.

After hugs and greetings were exchanged, Robert helped Harry get up on a picnic table. "I just want to thank everyone for their support. I-I don't know what else to say…but it really means a lot to me. Now, let's eat."

And, with that, everyone did just that, visiting and talking. Wendy had arranged a large cookout, with Tony as the cook. Surprisingly, everything tasted wonderful. And, for the moment, all their troubles were forgotten.


	10. I Could Not Ask For More

**Chapter 10**

After eating, everyone visited late into the night. Kristin snuck away for a while to put the Harry and Kristen to bed.

"Why don't you let me help you?" Nathan offered.

"Thank you," Kristin said. Then she added, "But if you'd rather stay-"

Nathan turned back to Ben, who he was speaking with.

But Ben spoke first, "Go ahead, Captain. I know how special it is to put your little ones to bed. I'll be here when you get back."

"Thanks," Nathan said with a smile. He turned back to his family and picked up his daughter, who looked like she was going to fall asleep where she stood. "Come on," he said.

Kristin took Harry's hand in hers, and they headed upstairs.

"I'll go tuck her in, and then, I'll be in to help you," Nathan told her once they were on the landing.

Kristin gave the sleeping child a kiss. "Goodnight," she whispered to her. Then, to Nathan, she said, "See you in a minute." And, with that, the two parted ways.

Once in Harry's room, she helped him into his pajamas.

"You know, I'm really not that sleepy, Mom."

Kristin sighed. "We have to get up early tomorrow. Remember your appointment?"

"That's why I'm not sleepy," the boy muttered.

"You're nervous?"

He nodded. "And scared."

"Oh, Sweetheart," she said, wrapping him in a hug. "Would it help if I told you I am too? But this is the best way for you to get better. And your father and I will be right there with you."

"I know," Harry replied. "But it still doesn't make it any easier."

At that moment, Nathan walked in, "Well, she's fast asleep. Didn't even make a peep when I covered her up."

"Well, we have one who's having some trouble," Kristin replied, her arms still wrapped around her son.

Nathan put a hand on his shoulder. "You worried about tomorrow, Champ?"

He nodded.

"What would help you get to sleep?"

Harry thought for a minute. "Could you read me a story, Mom?"

"Of course," she said with a smile. "Why don't you go pick one out?"

Harry walked over to the book case. Now, both Nathan and Kristin expected him to pick out a large volume, something that would take hours to read. But, surprisingly, he came back with a small book. "Here," he said.

"_Love You Forever_?" Kristin asked. "You're sure this is what you want? Wouldn't you rather read something else?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I want this one," he insisted.

They helped Harry into bed and tucked him in. Kristin nestled in on one side of the bed. Nathan nestled in on the other. Kristin opened the book and began to read, "_A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang: I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be_. _The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old_…"

Kristin continued to read about how the baby would pull all the books off the shelves and how he flushed his mother's watch down the toilet. She continued to read about the boy grew until he was nine years old and how he would do naughty things. She continued to read about how the boy grew until he was a teenager, and then a full grown man. But, no matter how much that little boy grew, the mother would always wait until the boy was asleep. Then, she would take that boy in her arms and sing the song. Even after the boy got his own house, the mother would drive over to his house at night and do the same thing. In the end of the book, the mother was sick. She called her son and told him to come see her, indicating she was on her death bed. The son did so. When he got there, she tried to sing the song, but she could not because she was too old and too sick. Then, the son picked up his mother and rocked her and sang, "_I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, my Mommy you'll be_."

"_When the song came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her, he sang: I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be_," Kristin read the last page, tears coming to her eyes. She closed the book and said, "The end." She turned to her son, but he was asleep.

"I think that helped him," Nathan said.

She nodded, getting up and putting the book away. She wiped her eyes. "I can't believe he picked that book."

"Was there a problem with it?"

"No, of course not. It was just…touching," Kristin muttered.

Nathan could see the tears in her eyes. He got up and hugged her. "You OK?"

She nodded. "I suppose we should get back to the party."

But suddenly, the distinct sound of thunder could be heard. And quicker than a flash of lightning, the downpour started. The sound of water hitting the roof and the ground could be heard.

Nathan laughed softly. "I think the party's over. You want to go to our room?"

Kristin shook her head. "I think I'd rather stay in here."

"Me too," Nathan confirmed. "Want me to grab you a nightgown?"

Kristin nodded. "Thank you."

Nathan slipped out for a minute to change into some pajamas. He came back with a nightgown for Kristin. She headed to the bathroom to change and came out a minute later. Then, they both slid in next to their son on either side, just as they had done before.

Nathan reached over and shut off the bedside lamp. He kissed his son's cheek and whispered, "Goodnight, Kiddo." Then, he reached over and took his wife's hand in his. He gave it a kiss and said, "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered. "Goodnight."

"Sleep well, Sweetheart."

So, they lay there, the three of them. Nathan put a protective arm over his son, and Kristin did the same, both holding on to him and one another, both wishing they could stay that way forever. However, perfect moments can't always last forever.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The next morning, Kristin and Nathan were in the cancer wing of the hospital. Harry had just had his first treatment, and the side effects were starting.

"Mom, I'm going to be sick," Harry said hoarsely.

Kristin held the small bucket in front of him as the boy wretched and vomited. After he was finished, she set the bucket aside. She wrapped her arm around him. "Better?" She handed him a glass of water.

"Thanks," Harry said after drinking greedily.

Kristin wrapped her arms around him and shifted so he could lie down.

"Can't we go home yet?" Harry said.

"Not until you don't feel sick anymore," Nathan said.

"I just want to go home," Harry insisted.

Kristin ran her hands through his hair in a comforting gesture. "I know you do, Sweetheart. And, we will soon, OK?"

"Maybe you should try to sleep for a little while?" Nathan suggested.

"I don't _want_ to sleep," Harry replied, a little angrily. "I _want _to go home."

"Hey, wait a minute, Pal-" Nathan began. But Kristin sat up and gave him a look, so he stopped mid-sentence.

Kristin turned to Harry. "Will you be OK for a minute? Daddy and I just need to check something with the doctor."

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

Kristin stood and took Nathan's arm, ushering him out of the treatment center and into the hallway.

"He didn't mean it," she said.

"I know," Nathan said. "I'm sorry. It's just hard to see him go through that. I know he's angry; I'm angry too." After a minute of silence, he asked, "How are you holding up?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Fine for now. Later, I'll probably break down," she admitted, tears coming to her eyes. "I'm trying to be strong for him."

Nathan pulled her close and placed a kiss to her forehead. "You're doing an excellent job. I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you," she said, wiping her eyes. "How are you doing?"

"Not as well as you," he admitted. "I think I'm in shock. I didn't expect it be quite like this."

"Well, maybe I should have prepared you more. Being a doctor, I suppose I had more of an advantage."

"Don't worry. I think if you'd have told me, I wouldn't have believed you. Nothing could have prepared me for this."

"It's only the beginning. We'd better get back."

They walked back through the double doors. A moment later, they were back at Harry's side. "There; we're back," Kristin said, forcing a smile.

"Uh, I'm sorry about that, Champ," Nathan said apologetically.

"It's OK, Dad."

Kristin lay back down on the bed next to her son. "How do you feel now?"

"Awful," Harry admitted. "I got sick while you were gone."

"Oh, Sweetie," Kristin exclaimed.

"It's OK; the nurse helped me. What did the doctor say?"

"Oh," Nathan said. "Um, let me go see." A minute later, he returned with Dr. Elders.

"Hi there, Harry. How are you feeling?" Dr. Elders asked.

"Sick," he said.

She nodded. "You're going to feel that way for a while. But, I promise you, your body_ is_ getting stronger, fighting the cancer. After you've stopped vomiting, you can go home, OK?" She turned to Nathan and Kristin. "Can I talk to you two privately please?"

Kristin cast a glance at Harry, reluctant to leave.

"I'll have the nurse sit with him; it will only be a minute," the doctor informed.

Kristin gave Harry a kiss. "We'll be right back, OK?"

"Yeah, OK," Harry said.

Nathan put his arm around Kristin's shoulders, and they followed the doctor into a nearby office.

"Well," the doctor began, "I just wanted to inform you two that our lab has been extremely busy today. We've had quite a few people come forward to be tested."

"Well, a lot of our friends and family wanted to help," Nathan explained.

The doctor smiled. "Oh, I'm not upset. I was just informing you. Of course, it's going to take a few days before we can let you know if anyone was a match."

"Do you think the chances are good?" Kristin asked worriedly.

"Well, Doctor, you know as well as I that it's a one in eighty thousand chance. But, I see miracles happen every day."

Kristin nodded.

"There will be more that want to be tested too," Nathan added.

"The more, the better," the doctor said. "Uh, why don't I let you get back to your son. He should start to feel a little better in about an hour."

Kristin and Nathan exited. Kristin thanked the nurse and took Harry in her arms once again. At that moment, a familiar face walked in.

"Hey there, Buddy," Tony said.

"Mr. Piccolo," Nathan greeted him.

"I hope you don't mind," Tony said. "I just wanted to let you know they've just tested me."

"Not at all," Nathan said, "but why don't we give them some time alone." Nathan ushered him out into the waiting room while Kristin stayed to tend to Harry.

"Mom?" Harry said. "Can you sing the song?"

"What song, Sweetheart?" Kristin asked.

"The song from the book. I'd love to hear it again," Harry said.

"_I love you forever; I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be_," Kristin sang softly.

**A/N: **_**Love You Forever**_** is written by Robert Munsch. The italicized text is direct text from the book. Thank you.**


	11. Angel Standing By

**Chapter 11**

Finally, they were allowed to go home just before lunch. Everyone else was out of the house. Naturally, Harry was out of commission for the rest of the day. Nathan carried the boy up the stairs while Kristin followed.

Nathan laid the boy down on his bed. "There you go, Champ. Are you cold?"

Harry shook his head. "No, just tired."

Kristin sat on the other side of the bed and gently stroked his hair. "How about I stay with you until you fall asleep?"

"OK," the boy answered weakly.

Kristin put her hand in his and squeezed. It took all his might, but Harry squeezed back. He wanted his mother to know how much he needed her and appreciated her at that moment.

"I'll be right here," Kristin assured him. She kissed his cheek and whispered, "Just close your eyes and relax. I'll be right here."

Harry closed his eyes, and it didn't take long for him to fall asleep.

Nathan put his arm around her. "Why don't we try to get some rest too? You look exhausted."

Kristin was exhausted. She hadn't slept very well the night before, and she knew Nathan hadn't either. But, she was worried about letting herself sleep. What if she fell asleep and didn't hear Harry calling her? She didn't want to leave him.

"He'll be fine," Nathan assured her, noting her reluctance. "He's asleep."

"I know," Kristin said. "But I'd never forgive myself if…" Her voice trailed off.

Nathan sighed. "I think I can fix this."

Kristin gave him a confused look as he stepped into the hallway. She heard him rifling through the hall closet, and a few moments later, he returned with a box.

"What is that?"

Nathan opened it up. "A baby monitor," he said simply. "I had ordered it on the Interenex when we thought you were pregnant. I had it on the boat this whole time; I hadn't taken it back yet, so I brought it here. I was going to exchange it, but I never did."

"You had it all this time?"

He nodded, blushing slightly. "I guess there was a reason I kept it. Anyway, we can use it for Harry."

"That's brilliant!" she said, rather pleased.

"I thought so." He quietly slipped into Harry's room and placed the monitor in there. Then, he walked out. "Now, we can go lie down, and we should hear him if he calls us."

"OK," she replied.

The two entered their bedroom, both exhausted from not sleeping well the night before and from the trying morning at the hospital. Kristin lie on the bed and listened to the soft sounds of Harry's breathing. A few moments later, Nathan laid down beside her. He took the baby monitor from her hand and gently set it on the table next to the bed.

"Are you OK?" Nathan asked. "You haven't really said much since the hospital."

Kristin sighed. "I think the reality is setting in," Kristin replied quietly, her voice weak from the lump in her throat.

"You've held it in all morning," Nathan pointed out. "I honestly don't know how you've done it."

"I think it's the doctor in me coming out finally. It's been suppressed for a while, but now…" Her voice trailed off as she started to sob.

Nathan held her tight and allowed her to let it out; he shed tears of his own as well. Soon tears subsided as exhaustion won over, and both fell asleep.

Hours later, Nathan awoke. He shifted quietly so he wouldn't wake Kristin. He sat up and listened; the soft, rhythmic breathing echoed through the monitor, telling him Harry was still asleep as well. But, Nathan could also hear quiet conversation, telling him someone else was home. He took a blanket off the foot of the bed and carefully covered his sleeping wife. He then slipped out the room and headed downstairs.

"Hey, Cap!" Lucas called quietly when he saw him. Cynthia, Malique, Maggie, and Crystal were there as well, along with Robert, Kendall, Michael and Kristy. Wendy, Katie, Ben and the twins were in the dining room.

"When did you all get here?" Nathan asked.

"About an hour ago," Robert informed him. "We wanted the house to be quiet when you got home…for Harry. How'd it go?"

"Rough," Nathan admitted. "I don't think he'll get out of bed the rest of the day."

"What about Mommy?" Kristy asked.

Nathan sighed. He felt a tremendous bit of guilt at that moment. Since they'd arrived in New Cape Quest, he hadn't time to spend with his newly recovered son. And, he barely said two words to his grandson. And, now, his own daughter was being pushed aside because of Harry. None of it was very fair. He crouched down next to her. "Mommy's asleep; she's been taking care of Harry all morning, and she's exhausted. I'm sure you'll see her later."

The girl nodded, but the emotion in her voice was evident. "I miss her."

"I know, Sweetie." Nathan stood and looked around at the sad faces. There had to be something he could do to bond with them, to reconnect. "Hey, I've got an idea. How about we go sailing?"

"Right now?" Lucas asked hopefully.

Nathan nodded. "Why not?" I think I need a break from all the chaos, and I've missed all of you. So, anyone who wants to come is welcome."

And so, it was decided, Nathan, Robert, Ben, Lucas, Kendall, Michael, Cynthia, Malique, Maggie, and Crystal all headed down to the docks. Wendy, Katie, and the twins headed out to the beach as well, but they opted to stay on the beach. But, it was a lovely change of pace for all involved. It wasn't long before Nathan's boat was far from the land, and everyone on the boat was having a wonderful time while Wendy and Katie watched from the beach. No one heard Harry calling out.

"Mom! Dad!" Harry called weakly. He waited for a few minutes for someone to come. Then, he called, "Mom!" a little louder. "Dad!" He needed to use the bathroom, but he hadn't the energy to get out of bed himself.

Kristin sat up in bed. She was sure she heard something through the monitor. "Nathan?" she said when she realized he wasn't next to her. She thought perhaps she heard him in the bathroom. However, when she heard no answer, she realized he wasn't there. She stepped out into the hallway and headed for Harry's room.

She found the poor boy lying in a heap on the floor. She rushed to his side. "Oh, Sweetheart!" she exclaimed.

"Mom?" Harry said. "I needed to use the bathroom…but I fell. I called for you and Dad."

Kristin helped the boy up, not really looking at his face. When she did, however, she gasped. His nose was bleeding. "Oh no," she muttered.

"What?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Um, nothing," Kristin assured him. She helped him to the bathroom. When he was finished, she said, "You've just got some blood." She took a washrag and cleaned his face. "There," she said once his face was clean once again.

"That's not a good sign, is it?" the boy said knowingly.

Kristin averted his gaze for a moment, trying to decide whether she should tell him the truth or not. She started to over -compensate. "It might be nothing."

"Mom?" Harry said desperately. "You don't have to lie to me. I can handle it."

Kristin finally looked at him, tears in her eyes. "It's not the best sign," she admitted.

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I know. I couldn't even feel it," he admitted.

Kristin quickly wiped her eyes. "We'll tell the doctor about it later; she's supposed to call. Do you want to lie back down?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I'm tired."

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" Kristin asked.

"I'm fine, Mom," he insisted. "No, I don't want to eat or drink right now." He could see the worried look in his mother's eyes, so he changed his answer. "Maybe some crackers and some water would be alright."

Kristin nodded, smiling a bit. "Alright. I'll be right back." She headed down the stairs to the kitchen. She noticed the house was in slight disarray, telling her the others were around somewhere. As she was going through the cupboard to find the crackers, she felt her anger rise over the situation at hand. She couldn't believe Nathan didn't leave a note or anything. She couldn't believe he'd just walk out, knowing Harry could wake at any moment. She looked out the window and saw Wendy and Katie. She opened the sliding door and called to them. A few moments later, they were back inside.

"We didn't realize you were awake," Wendy replied, carrying little Liam.

"Well, I only just woke up," Kristin said. "Where is Nathan?"

"Oh, he took the others sailing," Katie explained, Marina in her arms. "I think he's feeling guilty about not spending time with them."

"Well, that might be, but I can't believe he didn't leave me a note or anything," Kristin exclaimed.

"Is something wrong?" Wendy asked. She could tell Kristin was acting a little panicky.

"Well, Harry and I were sleeping, and I woke up because I heard him calling me. The poor thing was too weak to get to the bathroom."

"Oh, dear," Katie gasped.

"Anyway, I didn't hear him right away, so he tried getting there himself. He ended up falling, and he got himself a bloody nose….and Nathan wasn't anywhere to be found," Kristin said, tears in her eyes. She showed them the crackers and water in her hands. "I need to get these up to him. Excuse me."

The two other women stared after her. "That was Kristin?" Katie said. She was used to seeing her so in control.

Wendy, on the other hand, was used to seeing her this way over the past month. She nodded. "I don't think I blame her though. She's doing the best she can, considering."

Katie hugged her daughter close. "I don't know how I'd handle it if either of these two were…." Her voice trailed off.

Wendy nodded in understanding. She set Liam down in the bassinet Katie and Ben had brought with them. "If you don't mind, I'm going to see if she needs any help."

"Not at all," Katie replied. "In fact, I might-" She was going to offer her help as well, but she was interrupted by her son's crying. "I guess I can't help after all."

Wendy smiled. "I think she'll understand." She left Katie to attend to her children while she slipped away upstairs.

She knocked gently on the Harry's door.

"Come in," she heard Kristin say.

"I was wondering if you needed any help?" Wendy offered as she entered the room.

"Maybe you could take a look at him?" Kristin asked. Now, of course, Kristin could have easily done so, but it's difficult for a doctor to see (or admit) illnesses or effects of illnesses he or she may see in his or her own family members. Wendy knew Kristin didn't trust herself.

Wendy nodded. "Of course." She sat down next to the boy. "Harry, how are you feeling…truthfully?"

Harry looked at his mother; he hadn't wanted to scare her, hadn't wanted to tell the truth. Sure, he wouldn't be feeling well, considering he'd just had a treatment. But, he'd been through this once before. He knew that what he was going through was far worse this time. He knew he shouldn't feel as awful as he did at that moment. He hesitated.

"Would it help if we asked your mom to step outside?" Wendy offered.

Harry nodded.

Immediately, Kristin began to protest. "No, I-"

But Wendy stood. "Just try to separate yourself for a moment. Think of him as a patient, not your son."

It was difficult, but Kristin did, for only a second. And, it was that moment that she knew Wendy was right. She looked at Harry. "I'll be right outside the door."

The boy nodded, and Kristin left. She leaned on the railing of the staircase and cried softly. She was overwhelmed by anger and sadness.

A short time later, Wendy opened the door. Kristin turned and looked at her expectantly. "I think you ought to call the doctor."

Kristin nodded, expecting as much. "I need Nathan."

"I'll contact him on the radio," Wendy assured her.

Kristin nodded and headed to the vidphone while Wendy contacted Nathan.

A short time later, everyone bounded into the house upon hearing the news.

Nathan found Kristin sitting in front of the vidphone.

"Where were you?" she said through tears.

"We….I….we were out sailing. I thought it would be a nice change for the others. And, I…I haven't spent any time with them since we've been here."

"I know," Kristin admitted, feeling the slight pain of guilt as well. "But, you didn't leave a note or anything. This isn't just a cold, Nathan. It's cancer. You can't just be running off without saying anything."

"I thought things would be fine," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

Kristin sighed. She felt her anger melt. "Well, I suppose I can't be angry with you. I understand what you were trying to do, but…"

Nathan could hear the tears in her voice. "What happened?"

Kristin explained what happened with Harry. "And I just spoke with the doctor…she wants him in the hospital."

Nathan held her tightly as she cried into his shoulder.


	12. My Love Follows You Where You Go

**A/N: I've made some alterations concerning Harry's illness. It's still leukemia, but I chose a more rare form, so his treatments changed. You can go back and read it if you like, but most of the information is in the following chapter. Thank you.**

**Chapter 12**

Once at the hospital, Harry was given more tests. Nathan and Kristin were in the waiting room, both feeling as though they were on pins and needles. Nathan held her hand, but neither of them spoke to one another. Neither of them knew what to say. Nathan felt so guilty for leaving the way he had, even though there was no way to possibly prevent what happened.

Kristin, on the other hand, knew what was going on. She just didn't want to share what she knew. She knew Harry was weak, knew he was sick.

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, Nathan finally couldn't take it anymore.

"You know what's going on, don't you?" he asked.

"I have some guesses," she admitted.

"You want to share them with me?"

She sighed. "Worst case scenario, his kidneys are shutting down sooner than they thought. I know they said he had time, but sometimes, the body has other plans."

"And the better scenario?" Nathan asked hopefully.

"Maybe just a bad reaction to the chemotherapy. It's rare, but it can happen."

Nathan was silent for a moment. Then he asked, "Is there anything else?"

"Nathan, I'm not clairvoyant," she replied.

"That's not what I asked you. You tell me what we're up against here…please." His words were desperate.

Kristin felt fresh tears come to her eyes. "Nathan, he's weak…and the bleeding. He's anemic, His white blood cells are high, his red blood cells are low. It might be nothing, but it could be…"

"What?" Nathan asked. "Please…I have to know."

"He could be bleeding internally. It could be more serious than we've imagined. This type of leukemia, acute promyelocytic leukemia…well, it's extremely rare."

"But I thought the cancer was in its early stages," Nathan said.

"It is, but it can be unpredictable. And bleeding is common, and the therapy prevents the blood from clotting."

"Which means?" Nathan asked worriedly.

"Which means he might not survive surgery, even if a donor is found," Kristin replied, feeling tears start to fall. It wasn't long before she broke down once again.

Nathan held on to her, breaking down himself.

After they'd shed everything they had, they sat in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Finally, a nurse came in to retrieve them.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Bridger?" she asked. "I'm Susan. Dr. Elders wants me to let you know that we have Harry in a room now. You can go see him soon, but she wants to see you in her office. Right this way please."

Nathan and Kristin exchanged glances. Nathan was trying to read what Kristin was thinking. All he knew was that, normally, when a doctor calls you to his or her office, the news is usually not good. Kristin gave him a worried glance. He knew she was thinking the same thing. He gave her hand a squeeze, and the two followed Susan.

Once there, the nurse instructed, "Have a seat, and she'll be in here shortly."

"Thank you," Kristin muttered.

After Susan left, Nathan said, "So, do you think this is good news or bad news?"

Kristin shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure what to think," she admitted.

A few moments later, the doctor entered. She noticed the looks on their faces and gave them a sympathetic smile. "Mr. Bridger, Mrs. Bridger, I know you're going through a lot, so I'll just cut right to the chase."

"We appreciate that," Nathan said.

"Of course," Dr. Elders said. "Harry is much weakened. The medicine, as you know," she said, looking at Kristin, "prevents the blood from clotting properly. We've ran tests, and he did have some internal bleeding around the kidneys. However, it has stopped. But, for the time being, it would be best he stay right where he is. You can stay with him, see him as much as you like. But, this way, he can be monitored, at least until A, he goes into remission, or B, we find a donor."

Kristin and Nathan were silent for a moment as they let the information sink in. Finally, Nathan asked, "What are his chances?"

The doctor sighed. "The APL mortality rate is usually seventy-five to eighty percent, if it's caught early. However, Harry's case is a little different. I'm not going to sugar-coat this for you. Honestly, his chances are fifty/fifty at the moment. We're testing all the potential donors that have come in, and I should mention to you, others have come forward since you left. That's a good sign. That may mean we could find one. But, we need to get Harry ready, which means he might get a lot sicker before anything. And, right now, with the way his cancer has progressed, seemingly faster than we expected, I can't promise anything." She paused slightly, giving them an empathetic glance. "I am sorry," she said sadly.

Nathan and Kristin nodded absentmindedly, both near tears. Although it had been an expectation, they obviously hoped for some miracle. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Bad things happened to good people all the time. It seemed they'd had more than their share of it as of late. But, there was no changing it.

"Uh, you know there are grief counselors available if you need. And for Harry, well, we'll just have to wait and see at the moment," the doctor said.

Kristin was silent. Nathan managed to mutter, "Thank you. Please, can we see our son?"

"Of course. Susan will show you to his room."

The two stood and followed Susan. Nathan put his arm around Kristin. Kristin was grateful because she felt like she was going to fall at any moment. But, the truth was, Nathan did it because he needed the support as well.

Once in Harry's room, Susan said, "He's on a lot of medication, so he's going to be groggy. But, he's been fighting to stay awake so he could see you. If you need anything, you know what to do?"

They both nodded.

Susan gave them a gentle smile. "I'll leave you to be with him then."

Nathan walked over to Harry's bed. The boy had his eyes closed, but he opened them at the sound of movement. "Hi, Dad," Harry said weakly.

"Hi, Champ," Nathan said, his voice shaking slightly. He leaned down and gave the boy a gentle hug. "How're you feeling?"

"Tired," Harry admitted. "But, I wanted to see you guys."

Kristin stepped to the other side of the bed and swallowed hard. "We wanted to see you too." She was doing her best to hold back her tears.

Nathan moved so Kristin could give Harry a hug. It took all she had not to break down right there.

Harry lay back. He noticed the looks on their faces. "Don't worry. The doctor says after some rest, I'll be better."

Nathan nodded. "Of course. We'll be right here with you."

"Goodnight. Love you," Harry said sleepily. With that, he closed his eyes.

Kristin turned to the window. She was starting to succumb to her tears, and she didn't want Harry to hear her.

Once Harry was asleep, which didn't take long at all, Nathan turned to Kristin. She was nearly silent, but he could see her shoulders trembling. Nathan went over to her and enveloped her in his arms.

"Oh, Nathan," she sobbed.

The two sobbed in one another's arms again, both holding tightly to each other, both needing someone.

After a while, they both calmed down, both feeling they had released all they had for the moment.

Hours later, Harry was still asleep. Kristin sat on one side of his bed, holding his hand and watching him, making sure he was breathing, checking the monitors. She was like a new mother fretting over her newborn. Nathan found it sweet though. He wasn't overly-attentive like Kristin, but he checked on the boy as well, sitting on the opposite side.

Little was spoken between the two. There wasn't much to say at the moment. But, as dinnertime rolled around, Nathan grew hungry.

"Why don't we go get something to eat?" Nathan asked.

"You mean leave?" Kristin said, appalled. She shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

"So you're going to starve yourself? Is that really going to help Harry?"

"Don't you dare start, Nathan. When I'm hungry, I'll eat. But, no, I'm not hungry. When I get upset, I lose my appetite. I can't help it."

Nathan sighed. "How about I bring you a sandwich?"

She shook her head, eyes on Harry.

"You need to keep your strength up," Nathan reminded her gently. "Please…I couldn't handle it if you ended up in the hospital as well. We've already been through that."

She looked at him and sighed. "Fine." Then she added, "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"We're a little on edge, I get it," Nathan said. "Apology accepted." He gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back shortly. I love you."

"I love you too," Kristin said quietly.

Later that night

Harry had slept most of the time, only waking up when the nurse came in to check his vitals and draw blood. The doctor came in just before visiting hours ended.

"How are things going here?"

"Well, he's been sleeping the whole time," Kristin replied.

"That's actually the best thing at the moment. Um, will you two be staying the night?"

"No," Nathan replied.

But, at the same exact time, Kristin said, "Yes."

Nathan gave her a look.

"Uh, could you excuse us for one minute?" Kristin asked the doctor.

"Of course. I'll come back in a few minutes."

As soon as she left, Nathan said, "Don't you want to go home? What about Kristy? And what about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Kristin asked. It was obvious that whatever it was had slipped her mind, considering all that was going on.

Nathan sighed. "You have a session with Liz to prepare you. And then we go to the courthouse for the deposition, remember?"

Kristin sighed. "I'd forgotten all about that."

"I know you want to be here for Harry in case, but the doctor will call us. Why don't we just go home?" Nathan said.

Kristin was silent for a moment as she weighed the options in her mind. Finally she said, "You can go if you like; I'm staying here. I'll go home early in the morning, and we'll go to Liz's office. Then, as soon as the depositions are over, I'm coming right back here. I'm not leaving unless I have to."

"But Kristy-" Nathan began.

"Will have to understand," Kristin finished. "She knows Harry needs us. I promise I'll spend some extra time with her when things calm down a bit."

"You know she's going to ask for you."

"Just tell her I love her, and I'm sorry I can't be with her."

Nathan sighed. "Fine; I'll see you in the morning then?"

She nodded.

He walked over to Harry and kissed him on the cheek. "Stay strong, Champ," he whispered. "I love you." Then, he kissed Kristin. "And I love you too."

"Me too," she said. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Nathan said as he left the hospital.

When he arrived at home, he heard footsteps running down the stairs. "Mommy! Daddy!" Kristy ran into his arms. "Where's Mommy?" she asked.

Wendy was right behind her. "Sorry," she said. "She wanted to wait up for you two."

Nathan nodded, understanding. "Well, it's just us one. Kristin's staying the night."

"But I wanted to say goodnight to her," Kristy said, nearly in tears.

"I know you did, Sweetheart, but Harry needs her there too. You'll see her tomorrow."

He turned to Wendy. "Thanks for taking care of her, but I think I'll take it from here." He started up the stairs to get her ready for bed.

"It was no trouble," Wendy said to him. "I'll be around of you need to talk afterwards." Wendy was hinting; she wanted to know what was going on as well.

"Thanks," Nathan replied.

He read Kristy her story and got her tucked into bed. After that, he headed back downstairs to the kitchen. Wendy was waiting for him.

"Everyone else is asleep?" he asked.

"It is nearly eleven. Everyone was tired."

"Harry was bleeding internally," Nathan explained. "It's better now, but…he's really sick. Dr. Elders says that even if we find a donor, she doesn't know if he'll make it. Kristin doesn't want to leave his side."

"I suspected as much. I'm so sorry," she said, her voice laced with sympathy. "I wouldn't want to leave him either. Why didn't you stay?"

"I wanted to, but Kristy…it's not fair to her either."

"She understands more than you think. Of course, she misses you and Kristin terribly, but she knows Harry needs you."

"I just can't believe this is happening," Nathan said. "It's like our family's being torn apart…and it's an enemy I can't fight."

Wendy stood and went to him. All she could do was envelop him in her arms. "I promise it will get better eventually."


	13. Miles to Go

**Chapter 13**

Kristin had a restless night. Thankfully, Harry's condition did not worsen at all. But, that didn't stop a mother from worrying. Sleep did not come easy for her, despite her exhaustion. She finally did fall asleep in the early morning twilight. But, the sun rudely shone on her face, waking her, and a nurse came in to check on Harry. Shortly thereafter, Harry woke himself. Kristin immediately shook the sleep from her tired body and was at his side.

"How are you feeling, Sweetheart?" she asked.

"The same, I guess," Harry replied, his voice still weak. "I don't feel as tired though."

Kristin gently caressed his face. "I'm glad to hear that."

Harry rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, becoming more aware of his surroundings. He looked around the room. "Where's Dad?"

"At home."

Harry noticed the blanket on the reclining chair next to his bed. "You slept here?"

She nodded. "I wanted to be with you."

"I would have been fine, Mom. You could have gone home. I don't want to take all the attention away from Kristen, just because I'm sick."

She felt the sting of guilt at that moment. Nathan had said the same thing, hadn't he? But, was Kristin such a horrible mother for wanting to be with her ill child, a child whose life could be cut short? "I'm sure Kristen understands."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, she's a good sister that way. But, I don't want her feeling left out."

"Don't worry. I'll spend some quality time with her later," Kristin promised. She certainly meant it; she just wasn't sure when 'later' was. She told herself it depended on Harry. Of course, she missed her daughter terribly. But, she'd never forgive herself if she wasn't there if Harry did pass away, and she wasn't there. "Unfortunately, I am going to have to leave soon. Are you OK with that?"

"I don't expect you to be with me every second," Harry said. "And I do remember…the deposition." Then he asked, "Is this going to hurt the trial now?"

Kristin shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. The lawyers know about your illness. They'll work around it. I wouldn't worry about the trial. You just worry about getting better."

"I'll try."

She gave him a kiss and said, "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom." Then, he noticed her reluctance to leave. "I'll be fine…honest."

She sighed heavily. "I'll see you later." As she left, she felt the lump in her throat grow bigger. She passed the nurse's station on her way out. She explained the situation to the nurse. "If anything…changes….if he gets worse…here's my cell phone number

"Of course, Mrs. Bridger, don't worry," the nurse replied.

She muttered a thank you and hurried out to her waiting taxi. She found herself crying quiet tears, obviously not wanting to draw attention to herself. Soon, she arrived home. Everyone was in the dining room. As soon as Nathan saw her, he went to meet her.

"Hi," he said, kissing her on the cheek. "How is he?"

"The same," she said, her voice shaking. "It's just hard to leave him. They'll call if anything happens, of course. It's just…trying."

"I know, Sweetheart. Did you sleep well?"

"No," she admitted.

"Neither did I. Are you hungry?"

"I'm going to go take a shower first and get changed. Then, I promise I'll eat something," she said. She wasn't very hungry, but she knew Nathan would be upset if she didn't. She started up the stairs.

"I'll make you a plate," Nathan called after her.

A short time later, Kristin was showered and dressed. Once downstairs, Kristy wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's waist.

Kristin gently removed her arms and kneeled down in front of her to hug her youngest daughter. "I missed you too, Sweetheart."

"I just can't wait 'til Harry comes home," Kristy said. "Is he getting better?"

"Not yet, but the doctors are giving him a lot of medicine. Hopefully, he'll be home soon." Nathan and Kristin had agreed they weren't going to be as honest with Kristy about the situation. It's not that they were lying, but they didn't want her feeling any more worry or guilt. "I know you and I haven't spent much time together lately. I hope you don't think that means I love you any less."

Kristy shook her head. "I know Harry needs you and Daddy now. It's just hard to be left behind."

"Oh, Honey, I know," Kristin said, nearly in tears. She really had neglected her youngest child. She wrapped her in a tight hug once again. "I love you so much, and I'll never stop, even if I can't be with you. I promise, when this is all over, you and I will have some special Mommy and Kristy time."

"OK," the girl replied happily.

Kristin heard movement behind her. She pulled away from Kristy and turned.

"Your breakfast is getting cold," Nathan said gently. "We'll have to leave in about twenty minutes."

"Go eat, Mommy. Aunt Wendy's taking me to the park today anyway," Kristy said happily.

Kristin sighed sadly. "OK, Sweetheart." She kissed her on the cheek. "Have fun, and be good. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom, and don't worry. I'll be good." With that, the child ran off to find Wendy.

"She's so resilient, isn't she?" Nathan noted.

Kristin nodded. "I feel so guilty."

Nathan put an arm around her as he led her to the dining room. "It'll get better. I made you some eggs and toast. Is that OK?"

She nodded. She still wasn't very hungry, but she forced herself. "It's good, thank you."

Soon, Kristin had eaten, and the two headed to Liz's office.

"You're awfully quiet," Nathan noted as he drove.

"Just thinking," she muttered.

"About Harry?" Nathan guessed.

She nodded. "I'm not sure how useful I'm going to be to anyone today, since my mind is miles away."

Nathan reached over and squeezed her hand gently. "Before we go inside, why don't we call the hospital, just to check? Maybe that will ease our minds."

Kristin nodded. "OK. You're worried too?"

"I'd rather be there, but we can't postpone this anymore. And, once the trial's over, McGath is expecting an answer."

"What are you going to tell him?" Kristin asked.

"I don't know yet. I'm hoping by then, everything will be back to normal."

"And if not?"

"I don't know…I don't want to walk away from _seaQuest_, do you?"

"We might not have a choice in the matter…." her voice trailed off. "If…if Harry gets sicker…."

"_SeaQuest _will be the best place for him," Nathan continued.

She shook her head. "Could he handle being moved from one place to another? If he can't beat this, he needs to be comfortable."

Nathan was silent. Of course, he said he'd wait to find out what Kristin's decision was, but that was before Harry got sick. And, even now, Nathan only saw it was a minor setback. Sure, he was facing the possibility of death, but Nathan still didn't believe it. He never foresaw actually leaving _seaQuest _as an option. "So you're just going to walk away…just like that?"

"Nathan, it's not that I want to. I know it was your dream…but we have to think about Harry. Maybe we can return for the next tour."

"I just never thought we'd ever actually have to leave. I just looked at this as a small hiatus," Nathan admitted.

"Well, fate has other plans, apparently," Kristin reminded him. "Besides, I would hope you value us more than that boat."

"You know I do…but it's like someone telling you that you can't be a doctor anymore. It would be hard for you to give it up."

"No one's telling you not to be who you are, who you want to be. Just because we won't be there doesn't mean you can't still work for the UEO."

"They'll stick me behind a desk. That's not my ideal choice."

"Well, it's not my ideal choice to have a sick child. It wasn't my ideal choice to go to Alpha Colony. It wasn't my ideal choice to be so traumatized that I need therapy to get through most days," she snapped angrily, tears evident in her voice. She broke into deep sobs. After a moment, she spoke through her tears, "I thought you were willing to do what you needed for our family."

"I am," Nathan insisted.

"Only on your terms, though." She continued to cry softly. "You're being selfish."

Nathan didn't answer her, continuing to drive. But after a while, her sobs broke him. He knew he'd messed up, something he'd been doing a lot lately. But, he wasn't the only one. Neither of them were perfect in the matter. A lot of hearts had been broken in the past weeks. He pulled over and parked the car.

"What are you doing? We're going to be late," she said, through her tears.

"I don't really give a damn right now," Nathan said, although he said it calmly. "Look, I'm not trying to upset you. You're right. I was being selfish. If we have to walk away from _seaQuest_, we will. I don't want to upset you anymore than you already are."

"I'm not crying because of you," she admitted. "I just hate this. It's like this is some horrible nightmare…but it's not." Then she added, "I don't know how much more I can take. If we lose Harry, I don't think I can manage." She leaned her head on his chest and sobbed harder at the thought.

Nathan wrapped her in his arms. The fates were testing them, so it seemed. He agreed with Kristin; this seemed like some awful dream. The day he found out Robert was missing, a piece of him died. The day he found him, he found it again. But, to lose another child, he knew that would be unbearable. After Robert was gone, he and Carol had drifted apart. And it wasn't long after, he lost her too. He and Kristin had already had their share of marital problems, and they'd only been married a short time. He didn't want to lose her in the process either.

After a while, the tears subsided. She pulled away and wiped her eyes. "We'd better go. We've a long day ahead of us."

Nathan nodded and began driving again. The rest of the trip was silent. A short time later, they finally arrived at Liz's office.

Kristin took out her phone and dialed Harry's room. She put it on speaker phone so Nathan could speak to him as well.

"Hello?" Harry answered weakly.

"Hi, Champ," Nathan said.

"Hi, Dad."

"How are you doing, Son?"

"OK, I guess," he answered. "I had some breakfast, but I threw it all up. And I got another bloody nose. I'm still feeling a little sick."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Nathan said, his voice now shaking as he felt his own tears threaten, imagining his little boy going through that. "I…I'll see you later, OK?"

"OK…I love you."

"I love you too, Champ. You just get some rest. Uh…your mother wants to talk to you real quick, OK? Here she is."

Nathan had to walk away, to recover his senses. Just listening to his son, hearing the illness in his voice, it was terrifying.

"Hello, Baby," Kristin said.

"Hi, Mom. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Sweetheart. We'll be there later, we promise."

"Can you sing the song for me? Please?" Harry asked. "I'm having a hard time getting to sleep."

Kristin felt her tears threaten to fall again. She sighed, wondering if there was ever an end to the tears. "Of course, Honey. Just lie back," she said gently. "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

After a few rounds of that, she heard his breathing slow. "Harry, Honey?"

"Hm?" the boy answered sleepily.

"Hang up the phone, Baby. I love you."

"Love you too," Harry said, half asleep. Kristin heard the click of the phone a moment later. She wiped her eyes and turned to Nathan.

"We'd better go inside," he said. He put an arm around her, and the two entered the building, both hoping and praying the business would go by fast so they could get back to their son.


	14. Only the Wind

**A/N: I'd just like to give a thank you to The Black Pages for being my right hand woman on certain ideas for my story, for allowing me to bounce ideas off her. I greatly appreciate it. Thank you.**

**Chapter 14**

"Good morning," Liz greeted them cheerfully. But, then, noticing the looks on their faces, she changed her attitude slightly. "I'm sorry; is something wrong?" she asked sympathetically.

"Harry's not doing so well," Nathan explained sadly.

"You two should have called; we could have changed things around," Liz began.

But, Kristin shook her head. "We'd like to get this trial over and done with so we can close that chapter of our lives. The faster it's over, the faster we can focus all our attention on Harry."

"You're sure?" Liz asked. "I don't want you to feel forced into anything."

"The doctor will call if there's an emergency," Nathan said. "But, everything should be fine."

Liz looked at Kristin, who nodded in agreement. "Alright," she said, "if you're sure, let's get started then."

And so, Liz got to work in preparing them for their depositions. The others would be deposed in the days following, but Nathan and Kristin were first on the list.

Although it was difficult to try to recall all the details, only because they had been so traumatic, remembering them now didn't seem as painful as it had once been; the reason being that now, there were more important things to worry about. Being kidnapped and beaten and being held hostage by a madman seemed like a trivial matter compared to the pain they'd feel when and if they lost their child. Strange how one thing can always seem like the worst thing in the world, or at least until something more horrible happens. It certainly put things into a new perspective.

After an hour, Nathan and Kristin had both been prepared. Of course, Liz couldn't tell them exactly what they'd be asked since she didn't know herself. But, her main concern was making sure they could emotionally handle recalling such details. It was apparent now that they could, although it was easy to see their minds were elsewhere.

"Well, I think you two will be just fine. Do you have any questions?"

They shook their heads.

"When you meet with the lawyers, perhaps you should let them know about Harry," Liz said. "I mean, they already know about his illness, but you should let them know you want to get back to him as soon as possible. Depositions can take up a lot of time."

"We'll do that," Nathan said. "Thank you."

Liz held her arms out to Kristin as she stood. Kristin gratefully accepted her embrace. "I hope things get better for you."

Kristin nodded against her shoulder, trying not to break down once again. "Me too," she whispered.

Liz gently broke away from Kristin and hugged Nathan as well. Liz whispered something to Nathan that Kristin couldn't hear, but she deduced it was some sort of condolence as well. After they'd said their goodbyes, they left.

Nathan looked at his watch. "We have a couple hours before we need to go to the court house. Do you want to catch a bite to eat? Or go straight to the hospital?"

All Kristin had to do was give him a look, and Nathan knew what she wanted. It was the same thing he was thinking. He didn't even know why he felt the need to ask her. "I suppose we can always grab something from the hospital cafeteria for lunch."

Kristin gave him a small smile. "We just have to make sure we're not late. It won't be easy to tear ourselves away from him again."

"We'll manage," Nathan assured her.

A short time later, they arrived in Harry's room. They were surprised when they bumped into Wendy and Kristy. "Oh, hi," Wendy greeted them. "I hope you don't mind that I brought her here. It's just that she wanted to see Harry…and I thought it would be fine, under the circumstances."

"Of course," Kristin said with a gentle smile. She looked over to her two children, Harry lying in the hospital bed, and Kristy holding his hand. The two were talking quietly, smiling, and laughing. The two looked up to see their parents.

"Hi, Mom," Harry said. "Hi, Dad."

"Hi," Kristy echoed.

Kristin and Nathan walked over to them while Wendy lagged behind, to give them time together as a family. Kristin kissed them both on the cheek. "Are you feeling better?" she asked Harry.

"A little, yeah," he admitted. "I was finally able to eat something again once I woke up. And, I haven't vomited yet."

"That's good." Nathan moved Kristy off the bed and set her on his lap. "Maybe you'll be home again soon."

"Yeah, I miss everyone. Do you think anyone else will be visiting?" Harry asked hopefully.

"I don't know," Kristin admitted. "Everyone probably just wants to give you time to rest."

Harry looked dejected. "You two have to leave again soon, don't you?"

"Yes, but we're here now. And the others probably didn't know you wanted visitors. We can call them," Nathan offered.

"And Aunt Wendy and I will stay here, won't we?" Kristy slid of Nathan's knee and took Wendy's hand.

"When did you start calling her aunt?" Harry asked.

"Is that a problem?" Wendy asked somewhat worriedly. She wasn't only asking Harry, but Nathan and Kristin as well. "We've been spending so much time together, Kristy just started saying it. And, I never corrected her."

Kristin and Nathan exchanged glances. Kristin had noticed when Kristy had said it earlier. She had to admit, it was somewhat surprising, but she certainly couldn't blame the child. At least she hadn't called her 'Mom'. Kristin couldn't handle that. "It's fine," Kristin said. "You've become so close with us, it really is like you're family."

Nathan nodded in agreement.

"So you don't want to go to the park after all?" Wendy asked Kristy. "You were so excited before."

Kristy sighed. "Maybe when Harry's better, we can all go. I couldn't have fun knowing he'd be sad if we left."

Kristin, Nathan, and Wendy smiled. How mature for young Kristy to say that; the child was definitely wise beyond her years.

"You don't have to stay," Harry said. "I don't want to stop you from having fun."

"It'll be more fun with you," Kristy insisted. "Besides, we can have just as much fun here, can't we, Aunt Wendy?"

"Of course. We have coloring books and a few games in the car. I can always bring them up."

"That'd be great," Harry said. "Now, that I'm feeling better, I'm bored."

"Just don't overdo it," Kristin warned.

"I'll make sure of that," Wendy insisted.

"And as soon as we're finished, we'll be back here to see you," Nathan replied.

So, everyone's mood became lighter. Kristin and Nathan breathed a small sigh of relief, seeing as how Harry seemed to be feeling better. Of course, he was far from being out of the woods yet, but he even looked a little bitter than he had that morning. After visiting for a while, the doctor came in.

"Oh, I'm glad you two are here. Can I have a word?" Dr. Elders asked.

The two followed the doctor to her office, trying to determine if this would be good news or bad news.

"Please have a seat," she said, motioning towards two chairs in front of her desk.

As they sat, she continued. "I'm sure you're pleased with the change in him."

"He says he's feeling better. He is _doing _better, isn't he?" Nathan asked worriedly.

"The tests indicate he is, I assure you. In fact, if he keeps doing well, I think he may be able to go home tomorrow. I do have something I want to address to you two though. I want to know if you'd be interested in trying a more aggressive treatment.

"Aggressive?" Nathan questioned.

She nodded. "So far, we've been using the all-trans retinoic acid with the chemotherapy. As you know," she said, looking at Kristin, "it is effective in treating APL patients. But, in Harry's case, I can't guarantee there won't be another relapse. That makes him high-risk, considering it's his second time."

"You want to try arsenic trioxide," Kristin confirmed.

The doctor nodded. "It's proven to be effective to preventing such a relapse; we'd use it in addition to the other medications."

"So, you're familiar with it?" Nathan asked his wife, feeling somewhat left out for a moment.

Kristin nodded. "It's been one of the treatments for years; it is FDA approved. But there are risks."

"Risks?"

"Well, as a general rule, arsenic is toxic to the body," Kristin began. "And then, there are other various side effects, many that's he's already experienced. Some are a little more serious."

"Like what?"

"Heart problems can be an issue, but they're rare. A more serious side effect is APL differentiation syndrome. It's a reaction to the drug and leukemia together. But, we can treat that with steroids if it happens," Dr. Elders explained. She handed them a pamphlet. "This lists all the information. You don't need to make a decision now, but it's definitely something to think about, especially if we _do _find a match for him. The cancer needs to be controlled before surgery."

"How long do we have to think about it?" Nathan asked.

"I'd like to know by next week, before his next treatment," Dr. Elders explained. "The earlier we can begin, the better. And, we should find out if anyone tested has been a match by tomorrow. Do you have any questions for me?"

They shook their heads. "Not at the moment."

"Well, if you do have any, feel free to call me, day or night. I know this is a big decision. Well, I won't keep you any longer, since I know you two have to leave soon."

They both nodded and muttered thank yous. With that, the doctor left.

Nathan turned to Kristin. "What do you think about this?"

"I-I'm not sure yet." She sighed. "We really don't have much time as it is. I want to see Harry before we leave."

"Fine," Nathan said. "Lead the way."

The two walked back in to a rousing game of _Operation_. "You buzzed," Harry said.

"No, I didn't," Kristy insisted. "I just dropped the tweezers."

"It doesn't matter," Harry said. "A buzz is a buzz."

"Aunt Wendy, what do you think?" Kristy asked.

"Having fun?" Nathan asked, interrupting.

"Yeah," the three answered.

"Everything OK?" Wendy asked. She could see the look on their faces.

"Uh, why don't you two keep playing while we talk to Wendy alone?" Nathan suggested. Then, he turned to Kristy, "And your brother's right. A buzz is a buzz."

Kristy sighed. "Fine," she said, handing her brother the tweezers.

"Good girl," Nathan said. "You two have fun."

The three adults then walked to the other side of the room. Kristin showed her the pamphlet.

"Arsenic trioxide?" Wendy whispered. "Are you two going to say yes?"

"I don't know yet," Kristin admitted.

Nathan agreed. Then he asked, "What do you think?"

"I-I…I'm not sure," Wendy admitted. However, unlike Kristin, she could still separate herself from Harry to be able to look at him as a patient. "Considering this is his second time, it's not a bad idea."

"Even with all the side-effects?" Kristin asked worriedly.

"You know every patient is different. It certainly can't hurt to try, especially if a match is found," Wendy said.

"That's exactly what Karen just said," Nathan replied.

"I told you she was a good doctor. Of course, you two have a little bit to think about it, right?"

"About a week," Kristin said. "We have to leave shortly."

"Of course. Well, whatever you two decide, I'll support you," Wendy offered.

"Thanks; that means a lot to us," Kristin said. Nathan nodded his agreement.

"That's what friends are for. I'll leave you alone for a minute."

Nathan and Kristin walked back over to Harry's bed. "Is everything OK?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Everything's fine, Champ," Nathan promised. "The doctor said your tests are showing that you're doing much better."

"So, I'll get to go home soon?" he asked hopefully.

"Maybe tomorrow," Nathan said, repeating what the doctor had said. "If you keep doing well, that is."

"Then, we can go to the park," Kristy said excitedly.

"We'll see," Kristin replied. "That won't mean Harry's all better."

"I know," Kristy said.

"Well, you'd better give us a kiss and hug. We'll come back as soon as we're finished," Kristin promised. She leaned over to embrace both her children. "See you later."

Nathan did the same thing.

"OK, bye," Harry said. "Love you."

"Love you too, Kiddo," Nathan said.

Kristin blew them one last kiss as they walked out. "See you two later."

Once in the courthouse, Nathan and Kristin were led to a large conference room. "This seems like an awfully large room," Kristin muttered.

"Liz did mention the state had more than one lawyer," Nathan reminded her. "And we'll be deposed by both sides."

Kristin sighed. "I'd rather not be here."

Nathan took her hand and squeezed gently. "Me either, but we agreed to see it through to the end."

She nodded. A moment later, the double wooden doors opened and in walked two very professional looking people, a man and a woman.

"Mr. and Mrs. Bridger?" the woman asked, extending her hand.

They both stood and shook her hand.

"I'm Lily Thorton."

The man at her side did the same thing. " And, I'm Jake Cosgrove. We're both prosecutors for the state."

"We'll be doing our questioning simultaneously," Lily explained. "We understand you have an ill child, so we don't want to keep you any longer than necessary. As long as you're willing, it should go smoothly."

"What about the defense team?" Nathan asked. "We have to be questioned by them as well?"

"After we're finished, yes. However, they know you're situation as well. They've agreed not to keep you any longer than necessary as well," Jake said.

"We appreciate that," Kristin said.

"Well, then, let's get started," Lily said. "Do either of you have a preference as to who starts first?"

Nathan and Kristin shook their heads.

"OK then, Mrs. Bridger, if you'll please come with us. Mr. Bridger, you may wait here."

Kristin followed the two into a smaller conference room off the larger one. Of course, both lawyers asked a score of questions about what had happened in Spain. However, they seemed pleased with her answers. Less than an hour later, they were ushering her out and bringing Nathan in. His questioning did take a bit longer, since he was aware of everything that happened; Kristin had been unconscious for most of it. But, still, just a little over an hour, and he was finished as well.

Afterwards, they met the defense attorneys, Joseph Carey and Christine Simmons. But, two hours later, they were finished with the defense questions. Kristin and Nathan breathed a sigh of relief. Although they'd dreaded it, the depositions were finally over. Now, they just had to focus on Harry until the trial began.


	15. If Today Was Your Last Day

**A/N: I do realize this story isn't as exciting as the other two, but I did warn you of that. However, I do see that there are a lot of people still reading. However, it's rather discouraging for me as the writer since I haven't gotten many reviews as of late. So, if you are reading and enjoying, can you please take the time to review? A little encouragement would really mean a lot to me. Thank you.**

**Chapter 15**

At the hospital, Nathan and Kristin found that Wendy and Kristy were still there.

"You two stayed here all day?" Nathan said when he saw them.

Kristy nodded. "Aunt Wendy and I left for a bit to go to lunch; that way Harry could nap. But, otherwise we haven't left. We've had lots of fun. Robert and Kendall came by for a bit with Michael, and Tony and Lucas too."

"My, you've had quite a busy day then," Kristin replied, walking over to the bed and giving both Harry and Kristy hugs. She turned to Wendy, "They haven't given you too much trouble?"

"Not at all. We had lots of fun. How was the deposition?"

"Not as bad as we thought," Kristin said. "And now, we're free for a while. We can focus on more important things now."

"Just in time for dinner," Nathan commented as a tray was brought in for Harry. "Have you two eaten?" Nathan asked Kristy and Wendy.

Wendy shook her head. "But, if you don't mind," she said, leaning over to give Harry and kiss and hug goodbye, "I am going home. I think you all need some time together as a family."

Kristy hugged her goodbye too. "I had so much fun today, Aunt Wendy. Love you."

"I love you too, Honey." She turned to Nathan and Kristin. "See you two at home later?"

"Of course," Nathan said. "Thank you so much for everything."

"It was no trouble at all. Have fun." With that, she left, leaving the family alone.

"Well, are you hungry?" Nathan asked Kristy.

"Yeah…can we get some pizza?" she asked hopefully.

"Well, I'm not sure we-" Kristin started.

"It's OK," Harry said. "I'd like to take a rest after I eat. I'll be fine."

"You're sure?" Kristin said, sitting down next to him and running her hand through his hair.

"Of course," Harry said. "I'm still feeling good; just tired."

She kissed him on the cheek. "We'll be back soon."

"So, we are going for pizza?" Kristy squealed. "Yay!"

Nathan and Kristin laughed. "See you later, Champ," Nathan said to his son.

"Later," Harry said, taking a bite of the chicken on his plate.

Nathan picked up his daughter. "Let's go get some pizza."

So, the family went to eat, spending some much needed quality time with Kristy. After dinner, they went back to the hospital and had a lovely visit. With the four of them together, the world was exactly was it was meant to be for that moment. As the time drew later, Harry was yawning more and more. So was Kristy.

"I think we ought to call it a night," Nathan commented to Kristin.

She nodded. "You need to get Kristy to bed."

"You're going to stay here again?" Nathan asked, somewhat surprised.

Harry shook his head. "You don't have to stay, Mom. I'll be fine."

"But-" Kristin began.

"I'll be fine," Harry insisted again. "Go home."

Kristin finally agreed, realizing Harry would be fine. "Fine."

They all said their goodnights, and the three left, Nathan carrying a tired Kristy to the car. Once home, Nathan carried her upstairs, Kristin in tow. They tucked her in, said their goodnights, and headed back down the stairs. Wendy was waiting for them.

"Did you have a nice evening?" she asked. She was sitting on the couch with a book.

"It was wonderful," Nathan confirmed.

"It was nice doing something normal for a change," Kristin agreed. She sighed heavily, taking out the pamphlet the doctor had given them. "But, it's back to reality now." She looked at Nathan. "I think we ought to talk about this."

"Do you two want me to leave?" Wendy asked, setting her book down. "I can easily read this upstairs."

"Actually, I was hoping you could help us," Kristin said. "I need an objective doctor's opinion."

"I already told you what I would do," Wendy said. "Although I'm not extremely familiar with the drug, I think it would help prevent relapse."

Kristin nodded. "I had only heard about it before; I wasn't aware of all the risk factors. That's what I'm afraid of, admittedly-the long term effects."

Nathan took the pamphlet from Kristin and started reading down the list of side-effects. "Like you said, a lot of these, he's already having."

"So, you think we should do it?" Kristin questioned.

"I think it's worth a try," Nathan admitted. "Anything to save him, right?"

"Well, of course, but what if we do it, and he has heart problems in the future? Or worse?"

"No one is clairvoyant," Wendy broke in. "You can't predict the future; you just have to believe."

"What do you believe?" Kristin asked. "You think I just shouldn't worry about what ifs?"

"I think in this case, that might be best," Wendy admitted. "We're talking about survival here. If you want your son to survive, you're going to have to take a risk. Look, I can't tell you exactly what to do, but I think you shouldn't worry about the future. Just worry about right now."

Nathan nodded. He looked at Kristin. "She's right."

Kristin took the pamphlet from Nathan, re-reading the information she'd already read several times over since they'd received it.

"I think you two need some time alone," Wendy noted. "If you need me, I'll be in my room."

"Thank you…for everything," Kristin said sincerely, looking up from the pamphlet.

"Anytime," Wendy said. "Good luck you two."

Kristin and Nathan spent about an hour weighing the pros and cons about the arsenic trioxide. Finally, they had made their decision.

"There's just one person we need to consult yet," Kristin said.

"Harry?" Nathan suggested.

She nodded. "He should have just as much say in whatever we do. If he says no to the arsenic trioxide, then we need to support him."

"You could do that?" Nathan said.

"Of course," she said, lying back against his chest. "I'm not going to force him into anything he wouldn't be comfortable with. In the end, it might be the best decision."

"Even if…" Nathan's voice trailed off, but Kristin knew what he meant. No one wanted to say the actual words, 'even if Harry dies.'

"Even if," Kristin said.

"You're right," Nathan said. "It's up to him."

The two sat in silence for a long time, simply enjoying one another's company. Nathan noticed Kristin drifting off.

"We've had a long day. Why don't we go up to bed, Mrs. Bridger?" Nathan said softly.

She nodded sleepily. "I don't think I'll have any trouble sleeping tonight. I'm exhausted."

"I know," Nathan said. "Me too." Then he added, "We'll get through this." He led her upstairs to their bedroom.

Once in bed, he kissed her goodnight. "I love you."

"Love you too," she said back to him.

With that, the two fell asleep, both still worried about Harry, but seeing things in a different light. No matter what happened, they felt they could handle it. Of course, they both hoped and prayed for a favorable outcome.

The next day, they both woke late. They would have probably slept the day away if it weren't for the vid-phone ringing.

"Who is it?" Kristin mumbled sleepily as Nathan got up to answer it.

But, just as Nathan started to answer, he heard Lucas yell, "I got it; it's for me."

Nathan groaned slightly. "We should probably get up anyway. Harry's probably wondering where we are."

"What time is it?" Kristin asked, trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes.

"Nearly ten. We slept in."

She nodded. "I'm going to take a quick shower." But just before she got to the bathroom, there was a knock on their door.

"Uh, come in," Nathan said.

Lucas entered the room. "Uh, hi, I'm sorry to bother you, but I really need to talk to you two about something."

Kristin turned back to him, forgetting about the shower. "Is something wrong?" she asked, noting the upset look on his face.

"That was the hospital on the phone," Lucas explained. "They were giving me the results of my test."

"Well?" Nathan said.

"I-I'm a match," he said.

"That's wonderful," Nathan said.

"I…I guess…"

"You don't think so?" Nathan asked, confused.

"It's not that. It's just…" Lucas trailed off.

"It's one thing to be tested, but it's quite another to actually give him a kidney, though," Kristin said, confirming exactly what Lucas was thinking.

"I-I just need to do a little thinking, that's all," Lucas replied. "I just wanted you two to know."

"You mean, you might change your mind?" Nathan asked angrily, not being as understanding as Kristin. "I thought you were on board with this."

"I-I was…I mean, I am…I mean, I'm not trying to upset you. Look, I know what you're going through, and I-"

"You don't know what we're going through at all. If you did, there'd be nothing to think about," Nathan countered.

"Nathan," Kristin warned. "Please don't make him feel bad." She turned to Lucas. "It's just that if Harry doesn't get a kidney, he will die…even if his cancer is healed."

"You need to understand," Lucas said. "I think of Harry as my brother, a brother I never had. If things had been different, maybe he would have been."

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked.

"I mean…I used to wish that you'd adopt me. You know my parents were never around much. Even now, we hardly speak. You two are more parents to me than they ever were. I'm just thankful to be a part of your lives. Of course, all I want is for you to be happy. I certainly don't want you two to lose a child; I know what that would do to you." He paused for a minute, then continued, "But I would hope you'd understand if I took some time to think about it. It doesn't mean I'm not going to go through with it."

Kristin looked at Nathan, willing him to say something, anything to comfort the boy. But Nathan simple stared at ahead, looking stone-faced. "We understand it's a difficult decision. We just hope you'll tell us as soon as you decide, even if it's an answer you think we don't want to hear."

Lucas nodded. There was a long, awkward pause. Lucas was lingering behind, hoping that Nathan would say something. And, Kristin was doing the same.

Finally, as if he knew what they wanted, Nathan spoke, "I just want to know why."

"Why what?" Lucas asked.

"Why can't you just agree to it now. What are you worried about?" Nathan asked. "I think we have a right to know."

Lucas swallowed hard. "Well, I realize it mind sound a little selfish of me, but I'm worried about what would happen to me. What if I get sick someday, and I need that kidney? And it's not just that. What about after surgery? There are side-effects. Once back on _seaQuest_, I'm going to have to take it easy for a while. It's going to put a wrench in my life for a while."

Nathan and Kristin said nothing.

Lucas continued. "I guess I sound pretty selfish. I'm not trying to…I mean, I want to help…I'm just…_scared_."

Kristin sighed, feeling for him just then. She had to admit, she thought of Lucas as a son too…and she knew Nathan felt the same. She realized then she was asking one of her children to give something vital to his sibling. She had to admit, if she were in Lucas' position, she might feel the same way. If it were she who had been a match for Harry, she wouldn't have thought twice. But, for anyone else, she'd feel the same way. It was a terribly tough choice for someone so young. And, Lucas was only twenty years old, still a baby in her eyes. She went over to him and enveloped him in her arms. "You're not selfish."

Lucas was grateful for her support. "You're not angry with me then?"

She pulled away to look at him. She shook her head. "Of course not. I understand how you feel."

"I just don't want either of you to hate me."

Kristin turned to look at Nathan, her eyes glassy. She hoped Nathan's anger was melting.

Nathan sighed, going over to the two of them. "We could never hate you."

"You mean that?" Lucas asked, feeling unsure.

Nathan sighed. "Of course. I love you, Kiddo. And, I'm willing to accept whatever decision you make."

Lucas gently pulled away from Kristin and wrapped his arms around Nathan.

Kristin smiled as she looked on at the two.

Nathan finally pulled away after several minutes. "We're headed to the hospital. You want to come?"

Lucas smiled. "I think I'd like that."

After Lucas left, Kristin put her arm around Nathan. "I'm very proud of you."

"It's not easy," he admitted. "How can you be so understanding?"

"Well, Liz has been teaching me about acceptance. There's no reason it can't spill into other areas of my life. I'm willing to accept whatever happens now, even if that means saying goodbye."

"I don't want to."

"Well, neither do I," she admitted. "And I hope we don't have to. But, Lucas has to make this decision on his own, of course. We have to support him."

Less than an hour later, everyone was ready. Wendy and Kristy decided to go as well. Harry's room was filled with visitors from the _seaQuest_. Ben and Katie were there as well, and so were Cynthia, Malique, Crystal, and Maggie.

"Nice of you to join us," Ben said when they walked in.

"We slept a little later than we expected," Nathan admitted.

Kristin gently pushed through the crowd to get to her son. "How are you today, Sweetheart."

"Much better," Harry said. "Did you hear?"

"Hear what, Baby?"

"The doctor says they found a match."

Kristin stood there for a moment, mouth agape. "She-she told you?"

He nodded. "Yeah, that's good news, right?"

Kristin looked at Lucas. Lucas walked up to Harry and took his hand. "That's great news, Buddy," Lucas said. "And I'm honored to be the one to help you."

"Lucas?" Kristin questioned, unsure if she had just heard correctly.

Lucas nodded. He knew at that moment, there was no way he could walk away, no way he could deny this child a chance at life. "Yeah, I've made my decision," he confirmed.


	16. It Feels Like Home to Me

**Chapter 16**

**Three weeks later**

Harry was able to go home, since he was doing well. Nathan and Kristin had talked to him about the arsenic trioxide. Harry agreed without question, simply saying that he just wanted to live. Of course, that's what they all wanted. And, knowing Lucas was willing to help put their minds at ease. But the weeks were difficult. Some days were fine; on those days, it was hard to remember Harry was even sick, save for the little bald head of his, since the medication caused him to lose his hair. But, other days, there was no denying the fact. And, it wasn't long before it was necessary to put him in the hospital once again.

Kristin and Nathan sat by his bedside, both distraught and concerned. Dr. Elders entered the room.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but could I have a word please?"

Kristin and Nathan exchanged worried glances, both unsure of what to make of her approach. "Be right back," Kristin muttered, kissing Harry's cheek.

Harry mumbled, "OK." His voice was weak.

As Kristin and Nathan sat down, the doctor sighed heavily. "I wish I had better news for you two, but Harry's kidneys are getting weaker."

"Is-is that a side-effect of the medicine?" Nathan asked.

"It's possible, but I can't really say. I realize it's not really a shock; we knew this would happen," the doctor said.

"But we didn't think it would be so soon," Kristin replied quietly.

"So, what are the options?" Nathan asked.

"I had wanted to wait on this," Dr. Elders admitted. "I was hoping to get the cancer alleviated before suggesting this…but, I don't think we have a choice. I think we need to schedule surgery as soon as possible."

"What?" Nathan gasped.

Kristin's voice was thick. "That could…_kill _him."

"Maybe, but if we continue to wait, he won't have any chance of survival _whatsoever_. If we do it now, he does, although it's slim," the doctor explained.

"How soon….when…how much time do we have?" Nathan asked, his voice cracking as well.

"Well, he's obviously weakened from his treatment today. We're going to stop the treatments for a short time, just to let him get stronger. He's been taking medicine all along to help prepare his body for the kidney, so we won't need to do that. A week, maybe two; I'd say the sooner the better."

"I can't believe this," Kristin said through tears. "He was doing so well…"

Dr. Elders took her hand. "I-I'm sorry. I'm going to do everything I can to ensure his survival."

"If we do the surgery, what are his chances, what's the mortality rate?" Nathan asked, trying not to break down.

"Fifty, maybe sixty percent," the doctor replied. "That's certainly better than nothing."

"So, now what?" Kristin asked.

"Well, are you two saying yes?"

Nathan looked at Kristin. He already knew her answer. It was the same as his. They'd do anything to save their son. "Yes."

"I'll see about scheduling the surgery then. I'll let you know the details probably later today," the doctor replied.

**Two weeks later**

Wendy had informed Liz of the situation, and luckily, Liz had informed the lawyers. The trial was postponed under the special circumstances. After the surgery, it would commence once again, but Nathan and Kristin were grateful for the delay. No one involved with Harry could even think about focusing on the trial anyway.

Once the chemo was stopped, Harry's body got a little stronger. Nathan and Kristin knew this only an illusion, however, since they both knew that his kidneys were failing. Harry knew it too. But, he still had a positive attitude. Kristin and Nathan spent every waking moment with Harry, not wanting to miss a single minute, not wanting to miss a single breath. That particular day, however, Harry was doing better than normal.

Still a couple of days before the surgery, it was no different. Dr. Elders entered the room and did something that surprised them. After examining Harry, she turned to them. "I think I'm sending you home."

"What?" Kristin said, utterly shocked. She shook her head. "What if-"

"Perhaps this conversation should take place in my office; we don't want to upset Harry," the doctor whispered quietly. Luckily, Harry hadn't heard.

Kristin and Nathan nodded and followed her.

"So, what's this all about?" Nathan asked, feeling the same as Kristin. "He's supposed to have surgery in two days, and you want to send him home?"

"Please just hear me out," she said. "I know neither of you want to think about this, but this could be, essentially, his last days. Do you want him cooped up in the hospital the whole time? Or would you rather he be with you and your family? Take him places he wants to go, make him happy. If he doesn't survive, and I only hope it's 'if', then you'll know he was happy. He certainly can't get any sicker. It won't hurt him."

Kristin and Nathan were silent, allowing her words to sink in for a few minutes. It was a harsh reality to think about. Certainly, these could be Harry's last days. Neither of them had wanted to admit it, but it was definitely a distant thought in the backs of their minds. Obviously, everyone _wanted_ a favorable outcome, but life doesn't always oblige to desires. Logically, the doctor certainly had a very good point, and their anger melted.

"So, we should take him to the amusement park or something?" Nathan suggested.

"Wherever he wants to go," Dr. Elders said, "within reason, of course. Come Thursday morning, he'll be back in here, so try to make the most of it." She turned to Kristin, "Just don't force him to stay in bed the whole time."

"You think I'll do that?"

"You're a mother _and _a damn fine doctor. I know you would be tempted only because that's your nature," she said, giving Kristin a small smile.

Kristin nodded knowingly. "I'll remember what you said," she promised.

So, it was decided. Harry was discharged from the hospital and sent home. On the car ride home, Nathan asked, "So is there anything special you might want to do, Champ?"

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know…anything," Nathan answered. "You have a couple days before you have to go back, so we thought we'd make the most of it."

There was a slight pause before he answered again. "I might be a kid, but I'm not blind. Everyone's worried I'm going to die; that's why Dr. Elders sent me home, isn't it?"

"Of course not," Kristin lied.

"Mom, please," Harry said gently. "You don't need to lie. I know what could happen, and I've accepted it. I just don't like everyone pretending like it's not a possibility."

Kristin couldn't answer as quiet tears fell.

Nathan tried to diffuse the situation. "It's not that we were trying to lie," he explained. "It's just that no one wants to think about it. We want you to believe you _can_ survive."

"I do believe it, but I also know it might not happen, just like you guys so. I just want you to know you don't have to pretend around me. It makes me feel…like I'm not worthy of being told the truth, like I'm stupid or something. I can handle it," Harry explained. Then, he leaned forward and placed a hand on Kristin's shoulder. "I wasn't trying to make you cry, Mom."

She nodded and turned to him. "I know, Baby. I just can't help it."

"Whatever happens, I'll be OK," Harry assured her. "I'm lucky actually. I have you two here to take care of me, and if I do die, well, my real mom is in Heaven waiting for me. I'm not scared."

Although he was trying to comfort his parents, it only brought more tears to their eyes. Kristin tried to hold them back, but she couldn't. She sobbed softly, her shoulders trembling. She felt a small hand on her back, rubbing gently.

"It'll be OK, Mom; I promise," Harry soothed.

After a while, tears subsided. Once the group had arrived home, the others heard the door. They all went to see what was going on.

"Y-you're home?" Wendy said in surprised. She noticed Kristin's tear-stained face. "Is everything alright?"

She nodded. "Karen wanted Harry to have a few days at home before he had to go back, that's all," she explained quietly.

Wendy cast her an empathetic glance. "You're sure?"

Kristin nodded. She knew she might need to cry on her shoulder later, but she didn't want to focus on that now. She was determined to do exactly what the doctor had said…and she didn't want to dwell on what might come. She only wanted to focus on the here and now, and right now, Harry was right there with them. She wanted to make these next couple of days to be ones he would remember.

Immediately, Lucas, Kristy, and Michael headed into the game room, leaving the adults to talk.

"So, what is this all about?" Robert asked.

"We're supposed to let Harry live it up, so to speak, for a couple of days," Nathan explained.

"You mean…in case…" Kendall trailed off, tears coming to her eyes.

Kristin nodded, trying not to break down herself.

The adults all walked toward the game room and looked on as the children played pool. When he noticed them watching, Harry turned to them.

"Is this what you want to do?" Nathan asked.

"Well…" Harry said thoughtfully. "I'd actually love to go out on the boat, if we can. But I want everyone to go…not just the family…the whole _seaQuest_ crew too. It's just too bad Cynnie and Malique and Maggie and Crystal had to leave. And Ben and Katie too."

Nathan laughed slightly. "We're going to need more than one boat."

"Cynthia and the others said they'd be back as soon as they could," Kristin added.

Harry nodded. "I know. And I was thinking we could have a cookout on the beach afterwards…like we did last month," Harry explained. "Is that OK?"

"That's more than OK, Champ," Nathan said. "Give us some time to set everything up."

"OK," Harry said with a smile that lit up the room. He was certainly pleased. He told himself that if he _was_ going to die, he wanted to see anyone and everyone he cared about before it happened.

The others left to go help with the arrangements; Kristin lagged behind, being the worried mother.

Lucas looked up from the pool table, noticing the look on her face. He put a protective arm around Harry's shoulders. "I'll keep an eye on him," he promised.

Kristin nodded and mouthed an appreciative thank you as she left to go see about the arrangements as well. She met Wendy in the hall.

Wendy held her arms out to hug her. "How're you holding up?" she asked.

"Alright for now," she whispered quietly. "I might be a basketcase later though," she admitted.

"Well, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here," Wendy offered.

Kristin nodded. "Thank you," she said appreciatively.

"I was just going to make some phone calls to the hotel; do you want to help me? It might take your mind off of things."

Kristin gave her a smile. "Sure."

Wendy put an arm around her shoulders, and the two headed to the vid-phone."

**Two hours later**

"This is just how I imagined it," Harry said, giggling. Nathan was teaching him how to drive the boat. The others looked on laughing and smiling as well. Nathan had managed to rent two other boats, enough for the crew members that were close with Harry.

After sailing for a few hours, they docked the boats and headed to the beach. Nathan, Robert, and Tony started preparing the food. The others sat down and made themselves comfortable. Kristin searched the beach for Harry, having lost sight of him for a moment. She finally saw him; but what he was doing concerned her. He was sitting down on the sand, watching everyone else. The look in his eyes was one of knowledge, like he knew something no one else knew. That frightened her, sending a chill up her spine; for a moment, it confirmed her fears.

Finally, she couldn't stand it any longer. She walked over to him and sat down next to him. "Why aren't you sitting with everyone else?" she asked quietly.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I just felt like watching for a while. I want to try to remember everything; I don't want to miss anything." He turned to her and stared, as if he was doing the same thing with her, wanting to remember every last detail of her face. He had that look on his face again.

"Harry, I-" she began. But the look on his face brought her to tears once again, the tears she'd been fighting for a while.

Harry wrapped his arms around her, and even though he was weak, the tightness and strength of the hug surprised her. "It's OK, Mom. It'll be OK. I've had a good life…the best actually."

Kristin's only response was more painful sobs as the two held onto one another. Harry pulled back and held her face in his hands. He gently wiped her tears away with his hands. "Please don't cry, Mommy. You don't know how happy I am right now. When I was in the orphanage, I never thought I'd have such a great life. If I'd never met you, that never would have happened. Just remember, I'll always love you."

"I'll always love you too," Kristin managed to choke out, through her tears.


	17. Your Long Journey

**Chapter 17**

The next day, Kristin woke early. She hadn't slept very well anyway, considering she was concerned about Harry. Everyone was, of course, but there's something about a mother's bond with her child. She tried to slip out of bed quietly, but Nathan stirred.

"Is something wrong?" he mumbled.

"No, sorry I woke you," she whispered. "I just couldn't sleep anymore."

"What time is it?"

"Almost seven," she answered.

Nathan sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "I might as well get up too. I want to be awake when Harry gets up."

She nodded. "I don't want to miss a single minute either," she admitted.

"I thought I'd make a big breakfast today, make all his favorites," Nathan said, smiling a bit at the thought of seeing Harry's happy face.

"He'll love that," she agreed. She stepped into the bathroom. "I'll meet you downstairs in a bit."

A short time later, Kristin was showered and dressed. As expected, no one else was awake, save for her and Nathan. She headed to the kitchen to help with breakfast. It wasn't long before delicious smells of pancakes and waffles, bacon and sausage, and coffee wafted through the house, rousing the others from their sleep.

Nathan and Kristin heard footsteps on the stairs as everyone headed downstairs.

Harry gave the smile Nathan expected. "You did all this for me?" he asked.

"I sure did, Champ. I made all your favorites. How's that?" Nathan said.

"Great!" Harry said.

Everyone sat down to eat. After everyone had eaten, Kristin asked, "So, what would you like to do today, Sweetheart?"

"I've thought about it," Harry replied, "and I want everyone to stay home. I thought we could spend the day watching movies."

"That's _all_?" Kristy said in an exasperated tone. "Don't you want to go to the amusement park or something else?"

He shook his head. "No, I've been to amusement parks before."

"You've watched movies before too," Michael pointed out.

"Listen," Nathan said, interrupting. "We all agreed to do whatever Harry wanted; I think we'll have fun staying right here."

Everyone agreed. Although the other children had been hoping for something a bit more exciting, they were willing to comply. Everyone showered and dressed. Then, the younger members of the household went about choosing movies to watch for the day.

Nathan was about to say, "Let Harry choose."

But, Lucas beat him to the punch. In the last weeks, he'd really taken on the role of looking out for him when he could. Nathan was rather impressed.

"I found one," Harry announced loudly. "_Star Wars_."

"Which one?" Michael asked.

"Let's watch them all," Harry said.

The others agreed. So everyone got comfortable. Lucas put his arm around Kristin and led her to the couch. Harry sat next to her. Then, Nathan followed; Michael and Kristy each sat on his lap. On the other couch, Wendy, Kendall, and Robert sat.

It was a quiet day, but it was enjoyable. Between movies, lunch was made. Everyone ate sandwiches, and then, Nathan made popcorn to snack on. By the end of the last movie, the children had fallen asleep. Kristin wasn't far behind. Nathan shifted slightly and looked over to Kristin, her head on Lucas' shoulder.

"Is she awake?" he asked softly.

"Yes, she's awake," Kristin answered. "Barely."

"The kids are asleep; why don't we turn it off?" Robert asked, reaching for the remote.

"No," Kristin insisted, sitting up.

"Why?"

"Because this is what Harry wanted," she said. "To watch _all_ of the _Star Wars_ movies, and I want to finish."

"Fine," Robert said, "but I'm taking Michael up to bed."

Kendall yawned. "I'm going to turn in too. Goodnight, everyone."

Everyone mumbled goodnights back to her.

"I'm going to get this one up to bed, too," Nathan said quietly, carrying Kristy up to bed. "I'll come back for Harry."

A short time later, he returned and picked Harry up in the same fashion. "I'll see you upstairs?" he asked Kristin.

She nodded. "I'll be up in a little while."

Nathan said his goodnights to the others and headed upstairs.

Just as the movie ended, Wendy decided on the same thing. "I guess I'll turn in too. Goodnight."

Kristin looked at Lucas. "I guess you're going to bed too?"

He shook his head. "Actually, not yet. Aren't you?"

"I probably should, but no, I'm not so tired now," she admitted. "Part of me doesn't want this day to end."

Lucas put an arm around her shoulders. "I know what you mean."

She took his hand in hers and squeezed gently. "Are-are you scared about the surgery?"

"For myself? A little, but I'm more scared for Harry," Lucas admitted.

"I…I don't know how I can ever thank you for doing this for us. I know I've never told you this, but I think of you as one of my own too. I…I wish you were…" her voice trailed off as tears threatened to fall.

Lucas wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "That means so much to me to hear you say that," he said, feeling a few tears of his own slip from his eyes.

After a few moments, she broke the hug, wiping her eyes.

"You know, he asked me to take care of you," Lucas said quietly.

"What?" she said, not sure of what he meant.

"H-harry…he asked me to make sure you were alright, in case he doesn't make it. I promised him I would," Lucas said sincerely.

This brought a whirlwind of emotions to the surface once again, only causing Kristin to sob. Lucas wrapped his arms around her. "It's OK," he soothed. "It's going to be OK."

After a while, Kristin's tears subsided enough for her to speak. "I…I just don't know if I can handle it. The waiting is hard enough…waiting to see if he lives or dies. If we lose him, I…" Her voice trailed off as a few tears fell once again.

Lucas sighed as he hugged her tightly once again. "I can't predict what _will_ happen, but I _can_ tell you that you won't be alone. We'll all be hurting. Someone once told me that when you lose someone, you never heal. You just learn to live through it. You'll live through it."

She nodded. "I know, but this is what was supposed to happen. He's not the one who should be going ahead first."

"It doesn't always work the way we plan, does it?"

Kristin nodded her agreement, and the two sat in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts.

After a while, Kristin noticed Lucas' head drooping. Now, it was her turn to take care of him. She woke him gently. "Let's get you up to bed. Tomorrow's a long day."

Lucas tried to mumble a protest. But as he leaned against Kristin as she helped him upstairs, he opted against it. He was tired, and although he had made a promise to Harry, he didn't think Harry expected him to lose sleep over it.

Kristin helped him into bed and tucked him in. It was hard to believe she had been sobbing in his arms just a short time before because that part of her had melted away for the time being. She kissed him on the cheek. "Sleep well, Darling. I love you."

"I love you too," Lucas said sleepily.

And as Kristin turned to leave the room, he caught her arm. She turned back to him, and he whispered, "No matter what happens, it's going to be alright."

She nodded and whispered, "I know. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Lucas said as she left the room.

Kristin sighed as she closed the door behind her. The problem was, she really didn't believe what she had just told Lucas. She wanted to believe things would be alright, no matter what. But, it was difficult to see clearly. She crept quietly to Harry's room. When she opened the door, she found Nathan already there, sitting next to Harry's bed.

"There you are," he whispered. "I was wondering where you'd gone to."

"I'm sorry," she replied. "Lucas and I were having a little talk. I thought you'd gone to sleep."

Nathan shrugged his shoulders. "I really can't." He turned his eyes to their sleeping son. "I…just don't want to miss a second, even if he's not awake. Are you tired?"

"I'm sure I'll fall asleep soon," she admitted. "There's enough room for three. We've done it before," she said, recalling the night of the party when they first found out Harry needed a kidney.

Nathan stood and went to her. He wrapped his arms around her.

She returned the hug.

After a moment, he pulled away. "I needed that," he told her. He led her to the bed, and kissed her cheek. "Try to get some sleep, if you can."

"You too. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Sweetheart." They both laid on either side of Harry, each placing one protective arm over him, both praying this would not be their last night with him.

Hours later, Kristin woke. It was still dark, she could see that. She looked over to Nathan and Harry and saw a rather tender scene before her. Harry's head rested on Nathan's chest, and Nathan's arms were wrapped gently around the boy. She smiled softly, but as her thoughts drifted to the fear of losing Harry once again, her smile faded. She sighed sadly. She knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. She peered through the darkness at the clock. It was a little after four in the morning.

She was restless, and although a part of her wanted to stay with Harry, another part of her knew she'd just end up sobbing again, something she didn't particularly look forward to doing. She had a feeling the day would lead to that anyway. She quietly slipped out of bed and slipped into her robe. She gave both Harry and Nathan gentle kisses on their cheeks so as not to wake them. Then, she headed down the stairs. She searched the looked down the hall before heading down the stairs, just in case anyone else was awake. She found that wasn't the case and continued down the stairs. She headed to the kitchen and gently opened the back door leading to the beach.

Although the sun wasn't out yet, the sand was surprisingly warm beneath her bare feet. She walked toward the shore. Once she reached a spot she liked, she sat down, looking out over the water. Naturally, her thoughts drifted to Harry and what would occur over the course of the day. And, although she'd tried to avoid it, she felt a few stray tears fall. She wasn't sure how long she'd been out there, but she could see the sun start to rise. If the situation had been different, she'd be happy to see the sunrise, to see a new day start. But, this had been a day she'd been dreading.

She was so lost in her own thoughts, she didn't hear Wendy behind her. "I brought you some coffee," she said quietly. She sat down next to her. "You OK?" she asked.

"Thank you," she said gratefully, taking the cup from Wendy. "I'm fine."

"Yes, and I know when I'm fine, I get up in the middle of the night and come out here by myself," Wendy quipped gently. She took Kristin's hand in hers and squeezed. "No one expects you to be brave."

"Is everyone else awake yet?" Kristin asked.

Wendy shook her head. "No, it's not even six yet."

"How did you find me?"

Wendy shrugged her shoulders. "Your thoughts. You're not keeping them very private," she explained. "I'm not trying to pry; it's more like your mind is pulling me in."

"I'm sorry," Kristin said sincerely. Then, she added, "Then, I suppose I don't have to explain what I'm feeling."

Wendy placed an arm around her shoulders. "Not if you don't want to. Everything's going to be alright."

Kristin gently pulled away from Wendy and stood. "Everyone keeps _saying_ that. I just want to scream."

"What?" Wendy asked, somewhat shocked.

Kristin sighed in frustration. "Everyone keeps saying that everything will be alright, no matter what. Everyone keeps saying to have faith. But no one knows. No one knows what will happen." She looked at Wendy. "I know you can _feel _what I'm feeling, but do you _know _the agony I'm feeling? I mean, can you possibly know what it's like to be this close to losing a child? " Then, without waiting for Wendy to answer, she continued. "Of course you don't. I'm sorry, but you couldn't; you're not a mother."

Wendy was silent for a moment before she spoke. "You're right. I don't what it's like to have an ill child, nor do I know what it's like to have that child to be standing in the shadow of death. But, I certainly know what it's like to lost loved ones, to have loved ones have health issues. I can certainly empathize."

Kristin nodded. "Empathize, maybe. But no one knows if it's going to be alright. I can't even believe that. If Harry does pass away, I'll die right along with him. I promise you that." She finally broke into the tears she could no longer hold back.

Wendy wrapped her arms tightly around her. She said nothing. She wanted to comfort her, but the first words she thought of was, "It's going to be alright." Kristin was right. Why did people always say that? Why did people always insist it when it obviously wasn't true? Wendy knew that the Bridger family would suffer a great loss if Harry did die, and none of them would be OK, at least not for a long time. And, neither would a lot of other people involved with the boy. For a brief moment, she wished she was psychic so she could foretell the near future. Unfortunately, she felt just as lost as the others.


	18. Ordinary Miracle

**Chapter 18**

Nathan came out the back door. "What's wrong?" he asked in concern, walking closer to them.

Kristin immediately turned her back to him.

Nathan looked at Wendy, who shrugged her shoulders. "Uh, I think this is my cue to leave. What time are we leaving?"

"Eight," Nathan answered without really looking at her. His eyes were focused on Kristin.

"Right," Wendy said, patting his shoulder as she passed. "See you later."

Nathan listened for the sound of the door closing before speaking. He walked a little closer to Kristin so that he was standing behind her. "Are you alright?" he asked gently.

She turned to him, her face tear-stained. "What kind of question is that? Certainly, you know the answer. You know perfectly well what's wrong. Stop pretending like you don't."

"That's not what I meant," Nathan began. He was searching for the words to comfort her. It wasn't very easy when he needed comforting himself. "It's going to be alright."

Kristin groaned. "I am _sick _of hearing that."

Nathan was taken aback. "What do you want me to say? That it's not going to be alright?"

"That might be more realistic," she admitted. "I'm just sick of everyone saying it's going to be OK. Everyone knows it might not be, and it's exhausting to pretend. I'm not going to act like everything's fine when it's not."

"No one's asking you to do that," Nathan said. "And everyone's just trying to make you feel better. Is that a crime?"

"No, and I know everyone _means _well. I guess I just don't want to hear what they have to say right now," she said quietly.

Nathan was silent for a moment as he let her words sink in. After a few minutes, he asked, "Does that include me?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Excuse me for waking up and finding you gone. I just wanted to know where you were. I thought we were in this together."

"We are," she insisted. "It's just…I feel like I'm _dying _inside. No one, not even _you_, can know what that's like."

"You don't think I'm upset about Harry? You're highly mistaken," Nathan said, feeling hurt.

She shook her head. "No, that's not what I'm saying. It's just that he and I have a different bond. I…I know I didn't give birth to him, but...it almost feels like it." She paused for a moment, waiting to see if Nathan was going to say anything. When he didn't, she continued, "You've been so busy over the past six months. I understand, you were working. You had a boat to run, but _I_ was the one with him every day. I'm not saying you don't love him; I _know_ you do. I'm just saying your bond is different with him. I mean, I don't even think you know what his favorite color is," Kristin explained.

"Shows how much you know. It's blue," Nathan answered.

She shook her head. "It's _green_. It _used_ to be blue. Like I said, your relationship with him is different."

Nathan sighed. "So maybe I can't keep up with the fact that he changes his mind about his likes and dislikes often, but that doesn't mean I don't know him."

"I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty," Kristin said. "I was just trying to explain."

"You didn't make me feel guilty. I was already feeling that way anyway," he said. "I'd better get inside and make sure everyone's awake. I'll leave you alone like you wanted." Without waiting for her to say anything more, he turned and went back into the house.

Kristin sighed sadly. She knew she'd made Nathan feel bad, even though he wouldn't admit it. And, she didn't like feeling the way she did, but she couldn't change it either. But, she was grateful for the fact that she would be left alone. Considering the mood of the day, that did lift a small weight off her shoulders. She turned to walk into the house as well, dreading the day ahead, but wanting to spend a bit of time with Harry and Lucas before the hospital.

While the others were eating breakfast, Kristin headed upstairs to get ready herself. After emerging from her room, washed and dressed, she entered Harry's.

"You ready?" she asked quietly.

"I guess so," he answered. "I was just packing a few things to keep me busy during recovery."

Kristin breathed a silent sigh of relief. She was glad to hear Harry was still thinking about recovery. With the way he'd been acting lately, she wasn't sure what he thought. "Would you like some help?" she asked.

He nodded. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you, anyway." He handed her some books and magazines off his shelf, and she placed them in his bag.

"Y-yes?" she asked.

"You need to make me a promise first. Promise me you won't be sad."

"I…I'm not sure I can…"

"You can," Harry insisted. "Please. I don't like seeing you cry."

"I don't particularly enjoy it either." She took a few moments to compose herself, to push back the tears that were already threatening to fall. After she felt confident enough that she'd done so, she said, "Fine. I promise."

"Pinky swear?" Harry asked.

"Harry," she said warningly. "Please just tell me."

He turned to her, made sure she was looking into his eyes. "It's no secret I might not come home. In case I don't, I've written some things I'd like done." He handed her a notebook. "But, you promise me that you won't read until you know for sure I'm not with you any longer."

Kristin swallowed hard, trying desperately not to shed the tears that had crept up once again. After a few moments, she answered, "I promise." Her voice was hoarse, but she managed not to cry, like Harry had asked.

Harry smiled at her. "Everything's going to be OK, Mom."

She nodded, managing a smile back to him. She turned from him and wiped the unshed tears from her eyes so as not to betray him. "Uh, we'd better finish up here. We'll have to leave soon."

"Right," Harry agreed. "Do you think they'll let me bring my board games?"

"Why don't we leave them here for now? We can always bring them for you later. For the first few days, you're not going to feel like doing much," she explained.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. He grabbed a few more books, put them in his bag and said, "Well, I guess that's it then."

At that moment, Nathan knocked gently on the door frame. "Uh, we'd better head out to the car. All set, Champ?"

He nodded. "Is Lucas downstairs already?"

"Yeah, he's waiting for you," Nathan said.

Harry headed downstairs, insisting he ride in the same car with Lucas. That brought a smile to Kristin's face. She noticed Nathan staring at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said. "It's just good to see a smile on your face."

"Well, I promised him I'd try not to be sad," she explained.

"Good; it's about time someone talked some sense into you." With that, he headed down the stairs. "We're leaving in five minutes," he called back to her.

"I'll be right down," she called back. She walked into her room, placed the notebook in her nightstand, hoping she wouldn't have to open it. Then, she closed the door behind her and headed out to the waiting car.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once at the hospital, Harry and Lucas were both prepped for surgery. The others were asked to sit in the waiting room. Then, they'd be allowed to see them both before entering the operating room.

Kristin fidgeted nervously in her chair. Nathan sat across from her, keeping true to his statement about letting her be. But, admittedly, she wished he was next to her. It certainly would have been comforting to have his shoulder to lean on. She picked up a magazine from the table next to her and tried to read it.

She sensed someone sitting next to her and looked up.

Wendy put an arm around her shoulders. "You OK?" she asked quietly.

Kristin nodded. "For now, yes. The surgery hasn't even started yet. Ask me in an hour or so."

Wendy looked over to Nathan. "Are you two," she whispered to Kristin, "_arguing_?"

"Not exactly," Kristin replied. "I told him I needed some time alone. I know everyone was just trying to be supportive, but I just…needed to get away, I guess."

"Am I intruding. Shall I leave you alone?"

Kristin shook her head. "No, actually, I regret telling him that now. I could actually use a few hugs. I…promised Harry I wouldn't be sad. It's not so easy to do it on my own."

"Why don't you tell Nathan that, then? You know he needs the comfort just as much as you do."

Kristin shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe it's pride."

"My grandmother used to have a saying, 'Love builds bridges; pride builds walls'. My grandmother was very wise," Wendy stated. "Don't you agree?"

Kristin nodded. Before she could say anything more, however, Dr. Elders came into the room. "Mr. and Mrs. Bridger, would you like to see them?"

They both stood. Kristy walked over and took Nathan's hand, and the three walked back through the double doors.

"I'll come back to get the rest of you in a bit," the doctor said to the others as she left the room.

Kristy gave Harry a big hug and kiss. "You'll always be the best brother."

Harry laughed softly. "I'm your only brother. I love you, sis."

"Love you too," she said. "See you when you wake up."

"You bet."

Kristy turned to Lucas while Nathan and Kristin sat next to Harry's bed. Harry saw some unshed tears in his mother's eyes. "I thought you promised not to be sad."

Kristin nodded. "I am trying, but it's difficult." Her voice cracked as she spoke.

"I love you so much, Champ," Nathan said, his voice cracking as well.

"I love you too, Dad. Everything's going to be alright. I promise," Harry said. "No matter what happens, I'll see you two again."

Kristin let out a small sob.

"Don't cry, Mom. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Go see Lucas," Harry urged. "I'll see you later."

Kristin and Nathan both nodded, both wiping their eyes. Nathan put his arm around Kristin and led her to Lucas' bed.

"Hey, Kiddo," Nathan said.

"Hey," Lucas said back. He instinctively took Kristin's hand in his own. "How're you two holding up?"

"We're fine," Kristin assured him. Of course, that wasn't exactly true, but everyone knew that. She kissed him on the cheek. "I just can't thank you enough for this," she whispered softly.

Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "I feel like you shouldn't thank me yet, in case things don't go as planned."

"No matter what happens, we're grateful," Nathan insisted. "You have to know that. We love you."

"I love you too."

After a bit more small talk, the doctor gently rushed them along, wanting to stay on schedule. As soon as the others had said their goodbyes, Lucas and Harry were led into the operating room.

**Three hours later**

Kristin found herself pacing. Typically, kidney transplants only took three to four hours, and they'd already passed the three hour mark. She was getting restless. She felt a hand on her shoulder as she stared at the clock.

"I'm not intruding, am I?" Nathan asked her.

She shook her head and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Actually, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. This is something I can't do alone."

Nathan wrapped his arms around her in response. "I'm sorry too…for not always being there like I should have been. I haven't always been perfect."

"Neither have I; I guess we do just need to support each other. It's just been a hell of a week."

He kissed her gently on the forehead. "It'll get better."

He led her to sit down, and the two sat in silence. Although they were obviously still worried, they took solace in the comfort of each other's company.

Still, the surgery took two more hours. The last hour left Kristin on pins and needles. She was sure something horrible had happened.

But, to everyone's relief and surprise, Dr. Elder's finally came into the waiting room. And, although both Nathan and Kristin had promised Harry they'd try not to cry, they couldn't help but shed happy tears when the doctor announced the surgery had been a success.


	19. Right in Front of You

**Chapter 19**

At first, everything was a blur. Everyone in the waiting room exchanged hugs, breathed sighs of relief, and shed many happy tears. The doctor waited patiently for everyone to calm down a bit.

"Can we see them?" Nathan asked eagerly after several moments.

"Shortly, yes. They're both in recovery, but I want to monitor Harry closely. Obviously, he's at risk for infection. And, we're still watching for organ rejection. But, by next week, if none of these things happen, I don't see any reason why he shouldn't adapt to his new kidney. And, it won't be long before he can start treatments again."

The last statement reminded everyone that Harry wasn't out of the woods just yet, but the fact he had survived the surgery was a promising sign. It was as though the dark cloud hanging over him had lifted, and the sunlight shone through.

"If you can wait just a little longer, I'll come back out shortly. Maybe you'd like to catch a late lunch?" the doctor suggested.

As she left the room, Robert said, "That sounds like a great idea. I know the kids are hungry. Are you two coming?"

Nathan looked at Kristin. He knew Kristin hadn't yet eaten at all, and he had barely eaten himself that morning. They'd both been too upset. Now, he had to admit, he could easily eat something. He wondered if Kristin felt the same way.

"I am a little hungry," she admitted.

And so, everyone went down to the cafeteria for some lunch. Nathan turned to his wife. "What are you hungry for?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't really care, to be honest." She was smiling at him, despite her apathy towards the meal. "Well, I'm waiting."

"What?" Nathan asked, confused.

"Aren't you going to say, 'I told you so'?"

Nathan shook his head. "No, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Besides, to tell you the truth, I didn't know if I believed that things _would_ be fine. We still don't know that they will, but it certainly looks like it."

Kristin nodded. The two walked through the like and chose some sandwiches and sat at a table near the back of the room. The others all sat separate from them. It's not that Nathan and Kristin were feeling anti-social, but they needed some time to themselves for a little while.

The two started eating in silence at first. But, after a few minutes, Kristin began, "I-I'm sorry I was so…difficult these past few weeks. I haven't exactly been a joy to live with."

"You don't have to apologize," Nathan insisted.

"No, I think I do," she continued. "You've tried to be so supportive, and there were so many times I pushed you away. In fact, I wouldn't blame you if you pushed me away now." She looked down, avoiding his gaze, worried he might decide he didn't want her after all. She was a doctor; she'd seen many families go through the same thing they were going through now. There were so many times when an ill child or the death of a child tore marriages asunder. And now, she understood why. No matter how much a man and a woman love one another, there are times that love isn't enough to keep them together, especially when that love is tested to its extremes.

Nathan leaned over the table and put a hand under her chin and pushed up gently. "Do you really think that's what I'll do?"

She shrugged her shoulders but didn't voice her thoughts.

Nathan sighed. "I don't plan to push you away. I love you."

"I love you too," Kristin confirmed. "It's just that we've hit so many roadblocks lately…" Her voice trailed off.

"For better or worse, Sweetheart. We've had a lot of worse lately, but there's bound to be better ahead. I'm sure of it now. You just need to trust in that, trust in me."

She was silent for a moment as she searched his eyes. Then she answered, "I do trust you. We've certainly overcome a hurdle."

"And we'll keep doing that," Nathan assured her. He stood and crossed over to where she was sitting. He held out his hand to her.

She accepted the gesture and stood, and the two shared an embrace. Nathan kissed her gently. "Better now?" he asked.

She nodded and offered him a smile. "I realize I was never alone in this."

Nathan put an arm around her shoulders. "Of course not. I was here the whole time."

**Later that day**

Lucas and Harry both woke. Before surgery, Harry had insisted he and Lucas both share a room, and so, both young men were resting comfortably. Nathan, Kristin, and Kristy were allowed to see them first, of course.

"I made it," Harry spoke quietly when he saw them, his voice hoarse from the breathing tube that had been in his throat during surgery.

Kristin hugged and kissed Harry and then did the same with Lucas. "I'm so glad to see you both."

"You two did so well," Nathan said. "We're all so proud of you."

Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "It was nothing."

"At least you won't be lonely," Kristy pointed out.

"Well, Lucas will only be in here a few days," Nathan explained. "But we'll visit Harry every day and make sure we keep him entertained. And, before you know it, he'll be back home with us."

Kristy nodded. "Michael and I will come see you every day. I can't wait to beat you at Monopoly." Kristy had never done so.

Harry laughed lightly. "Just because I'm feeling a little under the weather doesn't mean I'll let you have Boardwalk and Park Place. I won't go easy on you."

"I don't expect you to. I just want you to know I've been practicing."

"Alright you two," Nathan said. "Why don't you go visit with Lucas?" he said to Kristy. "You can't get Harry all fired up yet."

Kristy nodded. "Love you, Harry," she said as she turned to Lucas.

"Love you too," Harry said as Nathan and Kristin turned to him.

Kristin gently stroked his forehead. "I guess I won't need that notebook after all," she whispered.

Harry nodded. "I guess not. I guess that's a good thing."

"That's a wonderful thing. I'm so, so very grateful."

"You have a lot of people waiting to see you," Nathan told him.

Harry nodded. "I can't wait to see them either." He yawned. "I'm tired though."

"You don't have to see them all today," Kristin assured. "Everyone knows you're exhausted." She kissed him once again. "We're just going to see Lucas for a few minutes, and we'll let you both rest."

"Are you going to stay here tonight?" Harry asked her.

"Do you want me to?" She honestly hadn't even thought about it yet.

Harry shook his head. "No, I think you should go home. Lucas and I will be fine."

Kristin smiled. She believed him, and she did not have a problem leaving him, knowing she'd see him in the morning. But, she said, "We'll see."

"Just get better, Champ," Nathan said. "I love you."

"Love you too, Dad." With that, Harry closed his eyes.

Nathan and Kristin turned to Lucas.

"How are you feeling?" Kristin asked, fixing his blankets and adjusting his pillows in a maternal fashion.

"OK," Lucas said, but the wince on his face betrayed him.

"What is it?" Kristin asked.

"I think the morphine is wearing off," he admitted. "It hurts a little."

"I'll see if they can give you something a little weaker. It won't do what the morphine does, but you should be able to have something in between the morphine doses. It will certainly take the edge off," Kristin explained.

"Thanks," Lucas said gratefully. It was definitely an advantage having a doctor for a friend.

"It won't be long before you're out of here," Nathan assured him.

Lucas nodded. "I actually don't mind it too much, though." He looked over at Harry. "I feel rather honored that I get to be here with him." He looked at Kristin. "Don't worry; I'll keep an eye on him."

She nodded, feeling a few happy tears slip out again. "I know you will, Honey," she said as she gave him a kiss on his forehead. "Thank you."

Nathan smiled. "Well, you might have something waiting for you when you get out."

Kristin gave him a confused look.

"Just a little token of our appreciation for doing this," Nathan continued.

"Oh, Cap, I didn't expect-"

"I know you didn't, Kiddo. Just don't worry about it."

Kristin sighed, wondering just what Nathan had done. But she decided it was best not to upset Lucas, Harry, or Kristy. But, she made a mental note to definitely approach him about it as soon as she had a chance. She turned back to Lucas. "Well, we'll let you get some rest too. I'll speak to the nurse on the way out about some medication."

"Great," Lucas said.

She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "We'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Lucas. Love you," Kristy said.

"Love you, Kiddo. See you tomorrow."

"Bye," Lucas said. "Love you too."

As the three walked into the hallway, Kristin gave Nathan a look.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Just what _did_ you do?" she asked.

"I was meaning to talk to you about it," Nathan insisted. "I was going to let you know this morning, but you weren't exactly in the best mood."

Once in the waiting room, Kristy ran to play with Michael, so she could speak to him more freely. "So, what did _we_ get him?"

Nathan chuckled softly. "What's one thing that Lucas has wanted for a long time?"

She thought for a moment. She could think of a lot of things. A family, for one. A girlfriend. A car… "A car?"

He beamed.

"You didn't?"

"I did. I mean, don't you think he deserves it? He gave our son a kidney. I thought it was the least we could do," Nathan explained.

She sighed. His logic couldn't be argued with, but she was, however, disappointed she didn't get to have a say in the matter. "I just wish you would have included me."

"Well, I haven't actually bought it yet. I thought we could do that today if you wanted…or tomorrow."

Kristin brightened at that. "So, you didn't go behind my back then?"

"No, I know how angry that would make you, even if it's for Lucas."

She nodded.

"So, what do you say? Can you imagine the look on his face when he sees it?" He smiled at the thought.

"There's just one problem," Kristin reminded him. "Where exactly is he going to keep it when he's on _seaQuest_?"

"The same place we keep ours. Lucas usually stays with us when he's on shore leave anyway. I think he only saw his father once the last time, and I don't think he's spoken with his mother in a while."

Kristin nodded. "Well, I think it's a great idea. But, then don't you think we should get a gift for Harry too?"

"Well, then we can't leave Kristy out. Really, all the children have been wonderful through this whole situation."

"I think we'll have to think about the others. But, we'll start with Lucas," she said.

As the two turned to the others, everyone was looking at them expectantly.

"What?" they asked in unison.

"We're just making sure you two are alright," Wendy said. "You're whispering. We just wanted to make sure it's nothing to do with Harry or Lucas."

"Of course not," Kristin said, smiling. "Everything's fine now, really. We were just having a private conversation."

"I guess we forgot to mention that Lucas and Harry are resting. You can all leave if you'd like now. They probably won't be up to visitors until tomorrow," Nathan added.

Everyone nodded, understanding.

"Do you want us to take Kristy?" Robert asked.

"That's up to Kristy," Nathan said.

Kristy came forward and looked at her parents. "Yeah, that'll be fine. I think you two need to reconnect."

This caused everyone to laugh. "Out of the mouths of babes," someone commented.

"You can say that again," Nathan said.

As the others left, Nathan put his arm out for Kristin. "Well, shall we, Mrs. Bridger?"

She smiled. "Let's go home."


	20. It's Been A While

**Chapter 20**

The next morning, Nathan woke early. Everyone was still asleep, including Kristin. He lay there for a while, propped up on his pillows, watching her sleep and thinking. He was thinking about how, for so long, it seemed she had changed. Really, it was only a couple of months, but he missed the old Kristin so much. He knew the reason she'd been lost wasn't her fault. But, then, last night, after they'd gotten home, he saw her again. She was so happy, so carefree. He hoped she'd stay that way from now on.

Certainly, they both knew Harry wasn't out of the woods completely, but it seemed there was definite hope that he'd be just fine. And, he knew Kristin was still dealing with the trauma that Secretary Nyugen and Jesse Sanderson had inflicted. With Harry's illness, she hadn't mentioned her problems with that situation. He knew that the trial would be the hardest thing for her to deal with. She didn't have to remember it now if she didn't want to. But, in the trial, recalling the details would be hard for her, he knew. He knew Liz had already helped her tremendously, but he knew she was still healing. But, still, he hoped she'd only move forward from this point on. He felt he had her back now, and he didn't want her going back downhill again.

Last night, they spent a little time together, just the two of them. They took a moonlit walk together on the beach. It was nothing fancy, but it was probably the happiest both of them had been in a long time. After that, the two of them had fallen into a restless sleep. All the worry and turmoil of the previous days had been lifted from them. Nathan had awaken actually feeling well-rested, something he hadn't felt for ages.

He slowly climbed out of bed, so as not to wake Kristin. The early morning light shone through the gap in the curtains. He walked over to the window and looked out; the ocean water looked completely calm and lovely. He turned back to the sleeping form on the bed. She did not stir, and, although part of him couldn't wait to see her smiling face, he knew she needed the sleep. He quietly left the room and gently closed the door behind him. He walked outside to sit on the dock and do some more deep thinking.

He must have lost track of time since he didn't know how long he'd been out there when he felt arms encircle his neck from behind.

She placed a light kiss to his neck. "Good morning, Sailor," she whispered.

"Good morning," he replied, turning to see her. She had a lovely smile on her face, just as he'd hoped she would. "Did you sleep well?"

She nodded. "I would have slept better if you'd have stayed with me," she said as her lips formed into a slight pout, although the smile never faded.

"I'm sorry, but I just couldn't sleep anymore. I've been awake for a while."

"Is something wrong?" she asked, concern lacing her words.

He put an assuring arm around her shoulders and placed a kiss to her forehead. "No, of course not. I was just out here thinking about how thankful I am…and how happy I am. After everything…well, it didn't seem like things were going to go so well for a while."

"It's still like a dream, isn't it? Oh, but it's one of those good dreams."

"Definitely," he agreed. "Is everyone else up?"

She shook her head. "No, it's still early; it wasn't even eight yet when I came out here."

"What did you have in mind for today? Did you want to get ready and head to the hospital?" Nathan asked.

"Well, there is that little matter of Lucas' car," she reminded him. "However, I think we need to call in recruits for that."

Nathan looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, do either of us know exactly what Lucas would like?"

"Well, I've got my eye on this Mustang I saw at one of the car lots," Nathan began. "It's gorgeous."

"That might be, but is it something Lucas wants?"

Nathan shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure, but I'm sure he'd like it more than something _you'd_ pick out."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"Well, I'm sure you'd pick something very sensible. Sensibility doesn't always appeal to young people," Nathan explained.

She sighed. "I know. And that's exactly my point. We need help."

"Who?"

She smiled as though she had a secret. "Tony."

Nathan shook his head. "No way. He can't keep a secret to save his life. He'd never work."

"That's exactly why I want him. He's honest. He knows Lucas. I'm not saying we don't, but he never talks with you or I about certain likes and dislikes, cars for one. I'll make sure he keeps the secret," she promised.

Nathan sighed. Kristin did have a point; we really needed to find out what Lucas liked, and asking him would be too suspicious. Nathan really wanted to surprise him. And, Tony really did know Lucas better than anyone, it seemed. He turned to her. "Do you think Mr. Piccolo is awake yet?"

She gave him a pleased grin. "Why don't we get dressed and pay him a visit?"

A short time later, they were showered and dressed. They ate a quick breakfast and left a note for the others that read, 'See you at the hospital'. Then, they slipped out the door and headed to the hotel before the others woke up.

When they got to Tony's room, they knocked.

"You think he's awake yet?" Nathan asked her.

She shrugged her shoulders. "It's nearly nine, so I think so."

They heard Tony yell from the other side of the door, "Ortiz, if that's you, I swear I'm gonna kill you." But then, the door opened, and there stood a very surprised Tony. "Doc? Cap?" He closed the door again, since he had answered the door in his boxer shorts. "Just a second," he called.

Kristin and Nathan both laughed.

"Maybe we should have called," Nathan said, between chuckles.

A moment later, the door swung open again. "Uh, sorry about that, you two. I thought you were someone else."

"Apparently," Kristin said, still smiling.

Tony stepped aside. "Please come in."

The two entered the room. Surprisingly, the room was fairly clean.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Tony wondered aloud, trying to be very polite.

"Well, first just let me apologize for not calling first," Kristin said. "It was a last minute decision to stop here, but we were hoping you could help us."

"You know I'd do anything for you, Doc," Tony said. Ever since he and Kristin had met, she'd like him. Tony never understood why, exactly. But, for that reason, he always did anything he could to please her.

She smiled at him. "I know you would. That's why we'd like you to come shopping with us."

"Shopping?" Tony asked, confused. "That's all?"

"You don't understand," Nathan explained. "We need your help deciding what Lucas would like."

"Oh," Tony said, finally understanding.

"But," Kristin continued, "You have to _promise_ that you'll keep it a secret. Lucas cannot find out."

"Because if you let it slip," Nathan added, "there will be _dire_ consequences, understood?" He gave Tony a stern look that said he meant business.

"You won't have to keep the secret long, just until Lucas is released from the hospital," Kristin said.

Tony nodded. "I won't say anything."

Nathan gave him a look.

"I promise," he added adamantly. "I'll be good. Would I lie to you?"

Nathan raised an eyebrow.

Tony turned to Kristin. "Well, I'd never lie to the doc. I've never given her a reason not to trust me."

"That you haven't, Mr. Piccolo. You haven't let me down yet, which is exactly why I suggested you."

"Get dressed," Nathan said. "You have fifteen minutes."

"Aye, Sir," Tony said, giving a salute. "I'll meet you in the lobby."

And so, Nathan and Kristin went downstairs and waited in the lobby. A short time later, Tony met them, just a few seconds short of the fifteen minute mark.

Once in the car, Tony asked, "So, what are we shopping for exactly?"

Kristin turned to him. "We've decided to buy Lucas a car; it's a small token of our appreciation for everything he'd done for Harry."

"Whoa. A car for a kidney. That's pretty nice," Tony commented. "And the kid's been wanting a car."

"I know," Nathan said. "That's why I decided on it."

"Our problem is that we're not sure what type of car Lucas would like," Kristin explained. "We're hoping you do."

Tony smiled. "He might have mentioned it once or twice. I definitely think I could help with that."

"Good," Kristin said. "We're hoping to get this done quickly so we can get to the hospital. We don't want anyone to suspect a thing."

A few minutes later, Nathan pulled into a car lot. Out front was a 1969 Mustang. It was a deep maroon with black detailing. "Now that's what I was thinking," he pointed out. "Do you think Lucas would like it?"

Tony shrugged his shoulders. "It's OK," I guess. I'm not sure how much he'd like it. He's never mentioned he liked that kind of car."

Kristin gave Nathan a look that said, 'I told you so.' "I'm sure Lucas would like something more environmentally friendly."

"_Everything's_ environmentally friendly these days, Dear. The only thing that's original on these classic cars are the bodies. The insides are gutted and replaced with modern parts that reduce the pollution. No need to worry about that," Nathan explained.

"The only car Lucas ever mentioned to me was those new stingers," Tony said.

Kristin groaned slightly, recalling the 'gazelle/stinger' argument between Lucas and Katie.

"Stinger?" Nathan said. "There's a car called a stinger?"

Tony nodded. "Apparently so. I don't know which company makes them, but Lucas just loves the look of the car."

Nathan sighed, taking one last longing look at the Mustang. "Guess we'll need to go inside and find out if they sell them." He parked the vehicle, and they all went inside.

As they walked through the door, there indeed was a car with a sign, 'Drive the new Stinger'.

The three started to look at the car up and down when a salesman greeted them.

Once the salesman had explained everything the car could do, the three decided it was the car for Lucas, considering the car was basically a computer itself, right up Lucas' alley.

"Now, the last thing to decide is the color," the salesman said, looking at the three expectantly.

The three all looked at one another.

"Lucas' favorite color is blue," Tony pointed out.

The salesman smiled. "We only have over one hundred different shades of blue. We only have a few on the lot, but the others can be ordered if you like something different."

"How about you show us what you have?" Nathan suggested.

So, the salesman showed them what he had available. Kristin pointed to one in a deep sapphire color. "I think he'd like this one."

Tony nodded. "I think you're right, Doc."

Nathan nodded in agreement. And so, the car was purchased.

Afterwards, the three went to the hospital.

When they walked into Harry and Lucas' room, the others were already there.

"_Where_ have you been?" Wendy asked, sounding slightly panicked. "We expected you to be here already."

Tony, Kristin, and Nathan all looked at one another. Neither of them had really figured out a story.

"Uh, I'm sorry," Tony finally said, a little sheepishly. "I called them over to the hotel for some help."

Kristin and Nathan nodded. "Yes, we didn't think it would take this long."

"What was wrong?" Lucas asked.

"Oh, uh, well, I needed a ride here so I could see you," Tony said, giving Lucas a hug.

To Nathan, Kristin, and Tony's relief, no one else questioned them. And so, they all spent the day with Lucas and Harry. Both were doing well, and there was no sign of rejection from Harry, a good sign.

As the day went on, more crew members stopped in, some bringing small gifts for Lucas and Harry. As it grew later, though, there weren't many left in the room.

Wendy picked up a tired Kristy. "I'll take her home and put her to bed. See you two at home."

Nathan and Kristin gave Kristy and hug and kiss.

"Thank you," Kristin said appreciatively.

"No problem," Wendy said with a smile. "Good night."

After saying goodbye to Lucas and Harry, Kristin and Nathan left as well. The others had all gone home, so they were the only ones left.

"How about a late dinner?" Nathan asked. "I know a great little place."

"That does sound lovely, but shouldn't we call home? I thought Wendy was going to have a heart attack earlier."

Nathan laughed slightly at the memory. "She's certainly become protective of us, and that's not such a bad thing. You'd better call. Tell her we'll be home late."

Kristin did so. After hanging up, she said, "Wendy's happy we called. She says Kristy was asleep before they got home."

"That's great," Nathan said. He reached over and took her hand in his. "But, if you don't mind, I don't want to talk about Kristy or Wendy or anyone else." He kissed her hand. "I think it's time we talk about us."

She smiled at him. It had been so long since they'd been together in an intimate way; part of her wondered if he was still even interested. Considering all that had happened lately, she wasn't sure. Of course, neither of them had initiated anything. With Harry being ill, neither of them felt like it. But, they both knew that they'd only been going through the motions. It was time to reconnect. "Oh really?" she asked coyly.

He nodded. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," she admitted. "It's been so long since…well, you know. I suppose I didn't make it easy for you."

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked.

"I know I pushed you away…a _lot_. I didn't make it easy for you to love me."

Nathan slammed on the brakes and pulled over. He made sure she was looking at him before he spoke. He placed his hands on her shoulders. "You need to remember something. It is _always_ easy to love you, even on your worst days. I could _never_ stop loving you. I never have, and I never will." He wasn't angry, but he was stern.

"Oh, Nathan," she said, hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry I made you feel unloved," Nathan whispered.

After holding one another for a few moments, Nathan asked, "Better now?"

She nodded, reluctantly pulling away from him.

Nathan restarted the car and continued driving. A short time later, they arrived at a small seaside café. "They have great food here," he promised her.

The inside was small, but quaint. They were led to a candlelit table for two. The two shared a quiet meal together. Afterwards, Nathan asked, "What would you like to do now?"

She stood on her toes so she could whisper in his ear. "Take me home, Sailor," she whispered huskily.

Nathan led her by the arm and did just what she said.


	21. Only Here For A Little While

**A/N: This is a bit of a longer chapter, but I had a lot I needed to cover in this one. Also, just a quick thank you for the anonymous reviews out there. Thank you. **

**Chapter 21**

**Four days later**

"Where _is_ Tony?" Kristin asked nervously. He was supposed to be here half an hour ago."

Nathan sighed as he tried to calm Kristin down. Lucas was being released from the hospital today, and they'd sent Tony to pick up car. It was to be waiting in the driveway when they arrived home. Naturally though, Tony was late. "Well, if he doesn't get here soon, we're going to have to leave without him."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Kristin muttered. Normally, she put all her trust in Tony, something most of the others never did. But, this was one day Kristin wanted _everything_ to be perfect. And, Tony being late messed up her plans. "I can't stand this anymore. I'm giving him a call."

"No, let me," Nathan said. "Don't worry. I'll handle it." Nathan walked into the other room to use the vidphone. There was one thing he didn't want Kristin to know. He knew why Tony was late.

"Hello," Tony answered.

"Piccolo, where the _hell_ are you? Kristin's having a nervous breakdown here."

"I-I know I'm late, but that jewelry store you sent me to was over an hour away. I'm on my way, but there's a traffic jam. Apparently, there was an accident on the highway. I'm thinkin' you'll have to go on to the hospital without me. I should be at the house before you get home."

Nathan sighed. "I know it's my fault you're late. Did you get the necklace though?"

"Yeah, I got it, and it sure is a beaut," Tony confirmed. "The doc's gonna love it."

"Keep your voice down," Nathan whispered. "She's only in the next room. Just do your best to get here. If anything goes wrong today, she'll kill you and me both."

"Right, Cap," Tony said, lowering his voice. "I'll be there. Just take your time coming home. This might take a while."

As Nathan cut the link, he said a silent prayer that Tony would get the car to the house on time. Then, he headed back out to the living room.

"Well?" Kristin asked expectantly.

"He's on his way," Nathan promised. "But, we're going to have to go on ahead without him. There's a traffic hold up. Apparently, there was an accident."

"Oh no," she gasped.

"Don't worry," Nathan assured her. "We'll go pick up Lucas. That should take a while, anyway, since we'll visit with Harry first. That should give Tony plenty of time to get here. I promise, everything will be fine. And if it will make you feel better, we can call him before we leave the hospital to be sure."

She nodded, pleased with that explanation. "I suppose you're right. I just want everything to be absolutely perfect for his homecoming."

"It will be," he promised. "Are you ready?"

She nodded. "Wendy says she and Kristy will meet us there. And Kendall, Robert, and Michael just left."

With that, the two left and headed to the hospital.

Both boys had healed well. Harry still had to stay in the hospital for several more days, but Lucas didn't need the attention that Harry did. Of course, Lucas still had to rest, but he could do his healing at home as long as he didn't overdo it. But, Dr. Elders had been pleased with the progress both of them had made. Everyone else was as well. It seemed as though they may finally be having some good luck for a change.

"Hi," Harry greeted his parents with a happy smile. "It's about time you two got here."

Kristin bent down to kiss him. "Well, we had a few things to take care of first. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Mom," Harry replied. "The doctor says she might even send me a home a few days early if I keep doing so well."

Kristin raised an eyebrow as Dr. Elders walked in at that moment.

"Oh, good morning," Dr. Elders greeted. "I'm glad you're here. I need to speak with you two."

Kristin's heart sank as she exchanged glances with Nathan. Every time they'd been called into Karen's office, they were given bad news. Worry overcame them as they followed her.

"Please have a seat," the doctor said once they'd reached her office. Then, upon noticing the looks on their faces, she added, "This is good news; I promise you. I just want to inform you about Harry's progress."

"He mentioned you might send him home a little early," Nathan said.

She nodded. "He's doing remarkably well, much better than I expected. I want him to stay here until his catheter is removed, of course. And, then a day or two later, just to be sure. But, I think he can go home as early as the middle of next week. Honestly, considering he's still an ill child, one wouldn't know it with the way he's healing."

"It might a little silly to say," Nathan replied, "but it feels like he's going to overcome that too. We're hoping to have a completely healthy child."

She shook her head. "It isn't silly at all, Mr. Bridger. If he keeps on this path, I'd like to continue the chemo treatments. So, if he does go home next week, I'd like to start the chemotherapy again that following week."

"That won't weaken him?" Kristin asked, concerned.

"Well, it will," the doctor explained, "but I no longer feel there's as great a risk to his health as I did before. His progress has shown he's much stronger than we had originally believed. That's why I'd like to be somewhat aggressive. I realize it's a little early to start again, but our ultimate goal in all of this is to get Harry well. I'm confident he'll get there."

Kristin hesitated for a moment. It was wonderful news, but being a doctor herself, she also knew that doctors sometimes make mistakes. It wasn't that she didn't trust Karen. She was probably just a little over-protective of Harry now, naturally. "What if you're wrong?"

"You mean, what if Harry doesn't do well with the chemo?"

Kristin nodded. "If he gets sicker-"

"Then, we'll stop immediately. We'll take a break and restart a few weeks later. I realize you're worried, but you have to trust me."

They both nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry for questioning you," Kristin said.

"Oh, no need to apologize. I'd do the same if it were my child, and you have every right to ask. And, please understand we're going to ease him back into it slowly. For his first treatment, the dosage will be less than the last time until we know he can handle it," Dr. Elders explained.

Kristin nodded. That did make her feel better. "And the arsenic trioxide?"

"That really did seem to make a difference for Harry. But, we'll ease him into that as well."

"Do you have any other questions?" she asked.

"About Lucas-" Nathan began.

"Oh, Lucas is doing extremely well too. But, you'll have to be sure he_ rests_."

"Don't worry; with Kristin and Wendy in the house, we shouldn't have a problem," Nathan explained.

"I'm sure you won't, but naturally, he's restless. He's used to being on-the-go, and he still thinks he can do what he did before. He doesn't seem to want to do that."

"Well, we'll have plenty of people watching him," Kristin said, smiling softly.

"I think we'll release him about noon today. By then, I should be finished with my rounds, and I'll give him one more exam before his release."

"Thank you so much," Nathan replied. Kristin nodded.

"Oh, you know you're very welcome. Now, go see those boys."

"Everything alright?" Harry asked when they returned.

"Oh, everything's just fine, Champ," Nathan told him, patting him on the leg. "We're just so proud of you."

"Why?"

"Because you're doing so well," Kristin praised him. She looked at Lucas. "Both of you are, but apparently, one of you is going stir crazy?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I just can't wait to get out of here." He looked at Harry. "No offense."

"I understand," Harry said.

Kristin placed a hand on Lucas' shoulder. "Just don't think you're going to have much more freedom at home."

"What do you mean?"

"Wendy and I aren't going to let you come and go as you please. You're still healing, which means you'll still need to stay in bed most of the time," Kristin explained.

Lucas cast a glance at Nathan.

"She's right, I'm afraid, Kiddo. You don't want to end up having to come back in here, do you?"

"No," Lucas muttered, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Don't worry," Kristin assured him. "We'll find plenty of things to entertain you until you're all better."

The morning went by fairly fast. A short time later, release forms were signed, and Lucas was allowed to go. Nathan and Kristin said goodbye to Harry. Wendy and the others were staying with him to keep him company.

A wheelchair was brought in for Lucas. "I don't need a wheelchair," he protested.

But, Kristin shot him a look, crossing her arms across her chest.

Lucas sighed. He was wrong. Maybe having a doctor who cared for him wasn't such a good thing. But, deep down, he knew it was for his own good. "Fine," he said, sitting down.

Kristin gave him a satisfied smile.

"Cheer up," Nathan said as he wheeled him out. "We have a surprise for you at home."

"A surprise?" Lucas asked. He'd completely forgotten about it. "What is it?"

Kristin and Nathan laughed.

"You'll just have to wait a little longer," Kristin told him. "Uh, should I make that phone call?" she asked Nathan.

"Sure; we'll meet you outside," Nathan said.

Kristin dialed Tony's cell number.

"Hello?"

"Tony? _ Please_ tell me you're at the house now," Kristin said.

"Doc, there's no need to worry. I've been here for quite a while now."

"Oh, Tony, I could _kiss_ you," Kristin stated joyfully. "I don't know how I can ever thank you."

"That kiss will be just fine, Doc," Tony told her. "I'm always happy to help any way I can."

"Well, thank you," she said gratefully. "I'd better go. See you in a bit."

"Bye, Doc."

Kristin breathed a sigh of relief as she hurried out to the car.

"Everything OK?" Nathan asked when she returned.

"Everything's fine," she confirmed.

"Good; let's go home then." With that, Nathan started the car, and they were on their way.

A short time later, they pulled in the driveway. They both waited for a reaction from the teen in the backseat.

A second later, they heard a surprised, "Whoa!"

Kristin and Nathan laughed.

"What do you think?" Nathan asked as he parked the car.

"Is that….is that…for me?"

"It sure is," Nathan confirmed, as he opened the door and helped Lucas out of the car. They walked over to the blue Stinger, which Tony had placed a large bow on, by orders from Kristin.

She walked over to Tony and took his arm in hers as they looked on at Lucas. "Thank you so much once again," she whispered.

"I already told you, don't mention it," Tony whispered back.

Nathan helped Lucas into the car.

"This is just so awesome. Thank you so much," Lucas said with the biggest smile that either of them had ever seen plastered across his face.

"But," Kristin warned. "No joy-riding until you're all healed."

Lucas nodded. "I'm happy just sitting in it."

"Well, in that case, hand over the keys," Nathan quipped.

A short time later, Lucas was hurting though. He had to admit, he needed to lie down. So, Nathan helped him into the house and up to his room.

Kristin turned to Tony. "Now, about that kiss." She placed a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you once again."

Tony Piccolo had never been the type to blush, but he did then. He was glad it was just the two of them because he didn't want anyone else finding out.

"Mr. Piccolo," Kristin exclaimed. "I do believe you're blushing."

"Kisses from gorgeous women tend to do that to me," he admitted. Then, he lowered his voice as though there were others within earshot. "Let's keep that between us, though, OK?"

She smiled. "It's our little secret."

"Well, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go up and say goodbye to Lucas. I promised Harry I'd go play a game of Monopoly with him. That kid loves that game," Tony said.

"Well, I don't want you to feel forced to leave. Nathan and I love having you."

But Tony shook his head. "Thanks anyway, but I think you and the cap are going to want to be alone."

Kristin gave him a rather confused look as she followed him into the house. She found Nathan waiting there as Tony headed up the stairs.

"Guess we were a hit, hm? Lucas certainly seems happy," she told him.

"Definitely," Nathan agreed. "Actually, Lucas wants you to go up and see him later. He wants to thank you properly. You were a little busy. What were you two talking about anyway?" He moved his head to the left towards the stairs to indicate he meant Tony.

"I was just thanking him. Really, I don't know if anyone else would have waited on the highway for Lord knows how long just to get a car here and then, have to wait even longer until we got here."

Nathan nodded. "And drive over an hour away," he added quietly.

"What was that?" Kristin asked.

"Nothing. Uh, Lucas said he was hungry. Do you think you can fix him a sandwich?"

"Sure," she said.

Nathan smiled as she walked into the kitchen and followed her.

She saw a wrapped box on the kitchen counter. "What's this?" she asked him.

"Read the card," Nathan urged her.

She opened the card and read. "Oh, Nathan, you shouldn't have-" she began, happy tears making her eyes glisten. She wiped them away. "But I thought we were buying the _children_ gifts. I didn't even get anything for you, and-"

Nathan captured her lips just then. After a moment, he broke the kiss. "Just open it," he told her. "And I know you didn't expect it. I just wanted to."

She smiled and unwrapped the box. Inside was another larger velvet box, the kind that usually contained expensive jewelry. She opened it. "Oh, Nathan," she breathed. Inside was a gold link chain. On each link was a dolphin, each dolphin having a different color eye.

"Each dolphin represents a person in the family. This is you and I, he explained. Your dolphin has an amethyst eye; mine has the topaz. And, this is Cynthia, Harry, Kristy, Lucas, Robert, and Michael. And there are even a few extra links. More dolphins can always be added."

"Oh, Nathan, I love it."

He helped her fasten it. "I hope you don't mind me adding Robert and Michael," he added.

"Why would I mind?"

"Well, I know with everything that's gone on, you three really don't know one another that well."

She nodded, realizing he was right. "Well, that's going to change shortly," she promised.

Nathan bent down to capture her lips once again when they heard a noise in the doorway.

"Uh, I just wanted to say goodbye before I left," Tony said.

"You know, you have the worst timing," Nathan said.

"Oh, Nathan, be nice," Kristin chided gently. "Did you have something to do with this too?" she asked Tony.

"The cap sent me to pick it up. Do you like it?"

"I love it, thank you."

"Well, now you know why I was late," Tony added.

"What?"

"Well, the jewelry store…it was over an hour away. The cap didn't tell you?"

"No, he didn't," she said, giving Nathan a look. "And you let me get all worried for nothing?"

"It all worked out, didn't it?" Nathan asked a little sheepishly.

Kristin sighed. "You have a point there. I guess I can't be mad at you. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and did the same with Tony again.

Tony blushed slightly once again, but tried to hide it. "Uh, I guess I'll leave you two kids alone." With that, he left.

Kristin smiled.

"What?" Nathan said.

"Tony mentioned we'd want to be alone. Now I know why."

Nathan smiled. "I just wanted to give you something too…something that reminded you of family. We've been through so much…"

"But our family remains strong," Kristin finished.

"We'd better get to making that sandwich…Lucas really did say he was hungry," Nathan said, after a moment.

A short time later, the two brought up a sandwich for Lucas.

"I really want to thank you for the car, Doc." He took a bite of the sandwich. "I'd never imagined anything so cool."

She kissed him on the cheek. "We just wanted to show you how much you were appreciated."

"Thanks," he said.

She handed him two pills. "Some pain medication for you as well. They'll probably make you sleepy."

"That's fine; I'm going to just watch a little TV and doze here anyway."

"Good," Kristin said with a smile.

"We'll be going back to the hospital later, but Wendy or someone will be here to keep you company."

"OK, thanks for the sandwich," Lucas said.

**Later that night**

Kristin and Nathan arrived home later than the others, as usual.

Nathan yawned. "I have to say, I am beat. Are you tired?"

Kristin sighed. "You go on up to bed; there's something I want to do first."

Nathan looked at her quizzically. "Is something wrong?"

She smiled at him, placing a kiss to his lips. "Not at all. I'll let you know when I'm finished."

"OK," Nathan said. "See you soon?"

"Of course."

As Nathan went upstairs, Kristin went looking for Robert. Nathans words about them not really knowing one another had bothered her a bit. Sure, it wasn't her fault, but she felt a little guilty about it. She heard some laughing in the game room. Robert and Kendall were there playing a game of pool.

She stood waiting in the doorway until they noticed her.

"Oh, hi," Kendall noticed her first.

"Were we keeping you awake?" Robert asked.

"No, of course not," Kristin assured him. "Uh, I just wanted to know if we could talk, but if I'm interrupting something, we could do it another time."

"Oh, no, Kendall doesn't mind, do you?" Robert said.

"No, not at all. I was losing anyway. She gave Robert a small peck on the cheek. See you in the morning?"

"Of course. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Kendall called as she left the room.

Kristin raised an eyebrow. Apparently, she'd missed a lot in her absence. She'd been so wrapped up with Harry and the trial that she didn't even know that Robert and Kendall were an item. She wondered if Nathan knew as well.

"Uh, so….what did you want to talk about?" Robert asked, taking a seat at the table and pulling out a chair for Kristin.

"Thank you," she said as she sat down across from him. "I…I guess I'm not sure how to start, so I may as well just come right out and say it. I guess I should start by apologizing to you."

"For what?" Robert said.

Kristin sighed. "You and I don't even know one another, and I feel guilty for it. Since we found you, you've been pushed aside. I know your father and I have been a little preoccupied-"

"I understand," Robert assured her. "I know you won't through hell the past couple of months. I've been wanting to talk to you myself, but I didn't want to intrude. I wanted to tell you that I'd love to get to know you more. I just want you to know I'm glad you were there for my father when I wasn't."

"Thank you," Kristin said, blushing a little. "Your father misses you too. Hopefully, now that Harry seems to be getting better, we'll have more time together."

"I'd like that," Robert said. "I should let you know I've already spoken with Admiral Noyce and General McGath."

"Oh?"

Robert nodded. "I'll be part of the crew when we return. Uh, besides, I don't want to be away from Kendall."

Kristin smiled. "I thought you two were becoming closer. If I hadn't been so distracted, I may have known before this."

"I'm going to ask her to marry me," he confided in her. "You're the first person I've told that too…but I know she's the one."

"I feel honored that you confided in me," she said. "I won't tell."

"Well, it's going to be a while before I do that yet. But, you'll know when I do."

"Well, I know it's late, so I won't keep you. But, I did want to have a bit of a talk with you. And hopefully, many more."

"Definitely," Robert replied. He gave Kristin a tight hug. "Love you, Kristin."

"Love you too, Dear. Goodnight."


	22. Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

**Chapter 22**

Kristin headed upstairs. She quietly entered the bedroom, expecting Nathan to be asleep. She'd and Robert talked a little longer than she expected. She felt a little guilty, but she told Nathan she'd explain it to him, so she decided she'd just tell him in the morning. As she undressed to slip into some pajamas, she was surprised to hear Nathan's voice through the darkness.

"I wasn't sure if you were coming up to bed," he said.

"Oh, I didn't know you were awake. I'm sorry it took longer than I thought."

Nathan reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. "So, where were you?"

"I wanted to clear some things up with Robert," she explained.

"Oh."

"Since we've been here, we've pushed him and Michael aside. Robert says he understands, but he and I would really like to get to know one another. I'll have a little chat with Michael tomorrow," she explained, crawling into the empty space next to him on the bed.

"I need to the same," Nathan admitted.

"Robert understands," Kristin assured him. "He knows you love him."

"Well, I'm going to make some time to talk with him and Michael."

"You'll have lots of time for that. Did you know that Robert's the newest crew member of the _seaQuest_?"

"Really?" Nathan said, somewhat surprised. "I was going to ask him if that was what he wanted. I'm glad he did it himself though."

Kristin smiled. "Well, there's something else on the boat he's rather attached to."

"What?"

"Kendall…did you know those two were an item?"

Nathan shook his head. "We've been out of the loop lately."

She nodded. "Now, we're catching up."

"Well, I'm happy he found someone." He put his arm around her and pulled her closer to his side. "I wish him all the happiness I've found." He placed a kiss to her lips. This kiss lingered for several minutes.

Finally, they had to come up for air.

"Hmmm," Kristin whispered. "As nice as that was, I think we should get some sleep."

"Who said anything about sleep?" Nathan asked.

"I thought you were tired."

"I suddenly woke up." He reached over and shut the light off. Then, he turned back to her and captured her lips again.

Kristin tried to protest once more, but anything she was about to say was muffled by Nathan's lips.

Nathan broke the kiss but kept his face close to hers. "What was that you were saying?" he whispered.

She smiled. "I've suddenly forgotten now."

"You tired?"

She shook her head and placed her lips to his.

After some much-needed reconnection between the couple, Kristin said, "Now, I'm wide awake."

"Me too," Nathan admitted. "We could always _bond _some more," he said with a wink.

"You're incorrigible," she said with a smile. "But, I think my body needs a rest, no offense."

"I understand. Well, that gives us some time to talk. We still have to decide what we're going to do for the others."

"Well, since everyone's going to be on _seaQuest_, perhaps we can do something there. Robert and Michael will be needing rooms; something adjoining like we have."

"Well, that's a given, but there must be something more we can do."

"What are we going to do? Put a merry-go-round in?" Kristin quipped.

"You know, that's an idea," Nathan said thoughtfully.

Kristin playfully slapped him on the arm. "You're kidding. You're already convinced the UEO to let you put a playground in. I don't think they'll allow you to do much more. It's a peacekeeping vessel, not a theme park."

"I know, but if they want us there, and I know they do, we might be allowed to do a bit more remodeling."

She sighed. "Well, I know Noyce and McGath aren't exactly ecstatic about seaQuest being docked at the moment. I don't they're going to allow anymore dilly-dallying," she pointed out.

"I know," Nathan admitted. "Thankfully, there haven't been any major world emergencies. The other submarines out there seem to be handling things. But, I think I'll be giving Bill a call tomorrow and see what we can do."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you going to do?"

"You'll see," he said with a secretive smile. He kissed her head. "You'll see."

"Hmm, well, I'll just let you do your negotiating. I, for one, am getting a little tired now." She rolled over and got comfortable.

Nathan lie down beside her and put his arm around her. "Sleep well, Darling. I love you."

"I love you too."

The next morning, Nathan dialed Bill Noyce's number.

"Nathan, I've been meaning to call you," Bill greeted him. "I heard that Lucas and Harry are doing well. I'm so happy to hear that."

"Thanks, Bill. I am too."

"And you and Kristin?" he asked. "How are you two doing?"

Nathan smiled, getting Bill's hint. "We're just fine now…and getting better," he assured him.

"So, I can expect a full crew and _seaQuest_ back in the water soon?" he asked hopefully.

Nathan smiled. "After the trial, yes," he promised. "But there's something I want to talk to you about."

Bill groaned. "The last time you said that, we remodeled _seaQuest_."

Nathan just stood there smiling.

"Oh, no," Bill said.

"Oh, yes," Nathan insisted. "But it's nothing too major. My son and grandson are going to need a room. I've come up with a few designs that I've faxed over. And there's one more thing," he added.

"What's that?"

"You'll see it in my plans. Any questions, you just give me a call, but don't talk to anyone else about it. I want to keep it a surprise."

"Nathan, you're killing me," Bill said, looking over the papers Nathan had sent.

"Just remember _you_ came to get _me_ off my island."

"I remember, and now, I'm kicking myself for it," Bill joked. "But, I don't see why we can't make this happen," he confirmed. "You're just lucky the UEO loves you."

"I'm just lucky you did bring me here," he told him. "If it weren't for you, I'd never have the life I have now. Carol…well, I hope she'd approve of my life now."

"I know she would, Nathan. She'd want you to be happy. And, I'm glad to see you are." Then, he asked, "So, Harry's all better?"

"Not yet, but he's making excellent progress. After the trial, the crew can all return to the boat. As for Kristin and I, well, it depends on Harry. But, Ford could handle it until we got there."

"When is the trial?"

"I'm not sure. Everything was put on hold for the operation. Now that Harry's doing better than expected though, I'm guessing it will be soon. Kristin's going to call the lawyers later."

"Keep me updated. We're just lucky the waters have been calm lately, but it won't stay that way. We need you back here. I know none of this was exactly planned, but I'm getting nervous."

"Just keep calm, Bill. We'll be back again before you know it."

"You'd better be. We'll speak soon."

"I promise," Nathan said. "Thanks again, Bill."

"Anytime, Nathan. Bye."

"Goodbye." Nathan switched off the vidphone and turned to see Kristin in the doorway.

"How long have you been standing there?" he asked her.

"Long enough to hear that Bill is bending over backwards for you," she said with a smile. "Just what is it you have him doing?"

Nathan walked over to her and gave her a hug and a kiss. "I said it was a surprise….that includes for you too."

"Not even a hint?" she said with a pout.

He smiled. "That's not going to work. You'll see soon enough."

"Fine," she said, gently wriggling out of his grasp. Then, she got serious. "I, uh…heard what else you said…about Bill being responsible for your happiness now. I'd like to think I had something to do with that too."

"You are," he assured her. "I suppose you heard what I said about Carol then as well?"

She nodded. "Please don't feel guilty." She knew that he did, seeing the look on his face. "I've told you before that she was a part of your life. I know you'll always love her, but that doesn't mean you don't love me too. We've both loved before. It doesn't mean we can't love again."

"You're sure?"

She nodded. "I suppose I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but part of me couldn't help it. I was hoping to find out what the surprise is."

"Well, you're forgiven. Now, the trial-"

Just then, the vidphone rang. Nathan hit the 'view' button.

"Nathan," Liz McGath greeted. "Kristin, I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I just wanted to say how happy I am for you. Wendy called me a few days ago to let me know how Harry's doing. It sounds like he'll be running and jumping around again soon."

"That, he will," Nathan assured her.

"Thank you so much for your good wishes," Kristin said. "I'm sorry we haven't called."

"Oh, please, don't apologize. I know it's been hectic there. But, I am calling for business reasons as well. I wanted to find out when you'd like to restart your sessions, assuming you'd like to, that is."

Kristin nodded. "Although I am doing much better, I think the trial may bring back some of those feelings, like you mentioned."

Liz nodded, understanding. "Speaking of the trial, Wendy mentioned Harry will be coming home soon?"

"Next week, actually," Nathan informed her.

"He'll still have some chemotherapy treatments to endure," Kristin added. "But we expect a full recovery now."

"I'm happy to hear that. I can speak with Miss Thorton and Mr. Cosgrove about it. They want to get this trial underway."

"We do too, actually," Nathan confirmed. "We're itching to get back to our lives."

"I can understand that," Liz replied. "Arthur can't wait either. The UEO brass aren't particularly pleased with its most powerful submarine being dry-docked mid-tour."

"Everything will be back to normal soon," Nathan said.

Liz nodded. "Well, I won't keep you two much longer then. Kristin, I'll be in touch with you to set up some sessions. And, I'll call to inform you about the trial."

"Great," Nathan said. "Thank you so much for the call."

"Thank you," Kristin echoed.

"I just hope things continue to go well for all of you. We'll speak soon." With that, she cut the link.

"Well, it's before nine, and we've already taken care of a lot of business," Kristin commented.

Nathan nodded. "How's our patient this morning? He was still asleep when I got up."

"Oh, Lucas you mean. He's doing fine. Robert's keeping him company today while we're at the hospital. He's setting up a video game system in Lucas' room to keep him entertained as we speak."

Nathan smiled. "That's just right up his alley. I hope it keeps him from feeling bored."

"It should, at least until we get back. I told him we'd take him out to dinner."

"Oh, really?"

She nodded. "I thought we should spend some time with him before we get too busy again. Plus, he'll be glad to get out of the house for a bit."

He smiled. Kristin was always thinking of everyone else. "Right," he agreed. "Where are we eating?"

"I thought we'd let Lucas decide. I'm going to go upstairs and check on them before we go to the hospital. Kristy's coming with us today."

"No Aunt Wendy?" Nathan asked. "I thought she was attached at the hip to her."

"I know what you mean, but honestly, I don't know what we would have done without 'Aunt Wendy' these past couple months. She's been a Godsend. But, I know we need to spend some time with our little Kristen as well."

"Definitely. We have a lot of lost time to make up for," Nathan admitted.

"Everyone claims they understand, including her," Kristin added, "but I can't help feeling guilty."

"That's what parents do. We do our best, but there's always the guilt that we didn't do enough. You've already been through that once, and so have I."

"Yes, well I don't remember pushing Cynthia away," Kristin admitted.

"Are we ready to go?" Kristy said, running in to her parents. She stood on the couch in the den and started bouncing happily. "I can't wait to see Harry. I promised him we'd play Go Fish! And then, we're going to play Monopoly, and Operation, and-"

"Kristen," Nathan said warningly, but he was smiling. "Are you supposed to be bouncing on the furniture?"

She stopped bouncing. "No, but I'm excited."

At that moment, Wendy came in. "There you are. I told you your Mom and Dad were on the phone. You weren't supposed to bother them." She was firm, but kind.

"It's alright," Kristin said. "We were just going up to see Lucas before we left anyway. I can't thank you enough for helping with her."

"It's no problem, really," Wendy smiled.

"Yeah," Kristy added. "Aunt Wendy and I are best friends."

"Are you?" Kristin asked, scooping her daughter in her arms. "What about me?"

"You're my best Mommy," Kristy said giving her a kiss. "And I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Darling. Shall we go up to see Lucas?"

Kristy nodded. With that, Kristin left the room and headed upstairs.

"Kristin feels guilty for not spending much time with her," Nathan told Wendy.

"I know," Wendy said.

"She told you?"

"No, but I can sense it. I hope I didn't have anything to do with that guilt."

"I don't think so. Kristin was just saying what a Godsend you've been to us. We really don't know what we would have done without you."

Wendy smiled. "I've enjoyed it, honestly. Since I'm an only child, I don't know what it's like to have a large family. Now, I feel like I do."

"We hope you'll join us after the tour ends, at least for a short time."

"I think I can make plans," Wendy promised.


	23. There's a Hero

**A/N: I'm not sure what readers are thinking lately, and although I try really hard not to worry about it, I do. Although I'm still not sure how many chapters we have left here, I am trying to wrap things up. However, before I finish this story for good, I feel I have a lot of loose ends to clear up. I have a lot of relationships that I've ruined that I need to fix. I need that closure, not only for all of you, but for myself as well before I start on a new story. And, after I feel all the relationships are healed well enough, I still have a court trial to write (I realize I've put it off a bit, but I felt the relationships and Harry's illness needed to be worked on before the trial). And, I still need to get them all back to **_**seaQuest**_**. So, I'm shooting for thirty chapters here, give or take a bit. I will be skipping some passages of time where feasible so as not to draw it out too long. I never thought it would be this long, but ah well. Anyway, are you readers enjoying it though? Or is it just horribly boring? I certainly hope not, but when no one says anything, I worry. So, please, if you're reading, take the time to review. I would greatly appreciate a comment or two since readers have been silent lately. Thank you.**

**Chapter 23**

**One week later**

"We only have two hours to set everything up," Wendy yelled, her hands cupped around her mouth so everyone could hear her.

Harry was coming home, and by orders from Wendy, she decided he needed a proper homecoming as well. And, she thought it was the perfect opportunity to get everyone together once more before the trial and returning back to _seaQuest_. And, of course, it was as surprise.

"You don't think the cap and the doc will be upset about this, so you?" Tony asked nervously. "Maybe they just wanted a quiet homecoming."

Wendy stopped short for a moment, putting down the decorations in her hand. "I hadn't thought of that. Oh my God, what if you're right?"

"Don't worry," Cynthia said, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Harry's going to be thrilled, and that will make Mom and Nathan happy. Besides, she doesn't expect Malique and I to be here, nor Crystal or Maggie."

"And not us either," Katie added, motioning to Ben, who was standing over a double stroller with the two sleeping twins.

Wendy nodded. "Of course."

Cynthia shot Tony a look. He slunk off sheepishly, putting his efforts to something more useful.

And, so, the house was transformed with balloons and streamers and a huge banner that read, 'Welcome home, Harry!'. The whole seaQuest crew was there along with Cynthia and Malique, Crystal and Maggie and Ben and Katie and the twins. Wendy had also invited General and Doctor McGath and Admiral and Mrs. Noyce. She wanted a huge blowout for the event.

Meanwhile, Kristin, Nathan, Kristy, and Lucas were at the hospital. For Harry, everything went very well. Dr. Elders held true to her promise; he was being released a few days early.

"So, what would you like to do once you're free?" Nathan asked, willing to take Harry just about anywhere he wanted.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I haven't really thought about it."

"How about the amusement park?" Kristy asked excitedly.

"I don't think Harry's ready for that much excitement yet," Kristin said gently. "Maybe once he's all better, we can make a trip there, hm?"

"OK," Kristy said, a little disappointed. "Besides, we really shouldn't go without Michael."

"We could go out to lunch somewhere?" Lucas suggested. "Somewhere with a game room?"

"We have a game room at home," Harry pointed out.

"Well, what would you like to do, Sweetheart?" Kristin asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I really just want to go home; I miss it. We can always do something like that with everyone. Kristy's right; Michael wouldn't be there. And, neither would anyone else."

Kristin smiled. "Cynnie sent a present for you. She wanted me tell you she's sorry she couldn't have been here."

Harry nodded. "There are a lot of kids out there who need her more than I do."

"You have a ton of presents at home," Kristy blurted out. "Everyone's been bringing them over."

"Like who?" Harry asked.

"Some people from the UEO have sent some things for you," Nathan explained. They're waiting for you in your bedroom."

At that moment, Dr. Elders walked in. "Well, are you ready for one more exam before you leave?" she asked.

"I guess so," Harry said. He looked across the hall where another boy near his age was lying in a bed, looking through the glass out at him. "A new patient?" he asked, motioning with his head.

"That's Vincent. He's APL also," she told him as she examined him.

"How old is he?"

"He's six," she informed him. "Maybe when you can meet him before you leave? He doesn't have a lot of family."

Harry nodded. "I'd like that…he's all alone?"

"He lives with his grandmother. She's working right now," she informed them. "He doesn't have any other living family, to my knowledge."

The doctor continued her exam. Then she said, "Why don't you get dressed, Harry? Then, I'll take you in to meet Vincent."

"OK," Harry said. "Can we all go?"

"I'd better check with him. He's a little shy. I'll be back in a minute."

Harry hurried to the bathroom to get dressed. After coming out, he was chatting excitedly. "I've never met anyone else with APL before."

"Just remember the doctor said he was shy," Kristin reminded. "And he's younger than you. Don't come one too strong."

"Don't worry, Mom. I won't."

Dr. Elders reentered the room. She had a smile on her face. Harry looked through the glass and he could see Vincent smiling and waving. He smiled and waved back. "He'd love to meet all of you," she told them. "First, there's the matter of the release forms though." She handed them to Kristin and Nathan to sign.

A moment later, she led them into Vincent's room.

"Vincent, this is Harry and Harry's family."

"Hi," Vincent said in a small voice.

"Hi," Harry said, going over to the bed and shaking his hand. "I heard you were a little sick."

Vincent nodded. "Yeah, I have what they call APL."

"I know," Harry said. "I have it too. I've never met anyone else with it."

"Me either," Vincent said, sitting up.

"I think I'll leave you to get acquainted," the doctor said with a smile.

"So, is this your family?" Vincent asked.

"Yeah, this is my mom and dad and my sister. And this is Lucas," Harry said, taking Lucas' hand and leading him over to the bed. "He just gave me a kidney."

"Whoa," Vincent said. "You have a great brother."

"Thanks, but he's not my brother," Harry said.

"We're just really good friends," Lucas explained. "But Harry's the closest I have to one."

"But I am his real sister," Kristy said, feeling a little left out. "My name's Kristen, but everyone calls me Kristy."

"Hi, Kristy," Vincent said. Then he looked at Kristin and Nathan. "Hi, Harry's parents."

Kristin chuckled lightly. "You can call me Kristin. And this is Nathan."

"It's so great to meet all of you."

And so, they ended up spending most of the morning there, talking and playing with Vincent. Kristy, Lucas, and Harry broke out the Monopoly game to keep Vincent entertained.

Back at home, though, Wendy was getting nervous.

"I thought you said we only had two hours. It's been almost three. Where are they?" Tony asked. "The food's getting cold."

"I really thought they'd be here by now," she explained. She sighed. "Maybe I should have mentioned I had this planned."

"I'll give them a call," Tony offered.

"Just don't say anything about the party," Wendy warned.

"What should I say?"

"Just tell them a few people came over to see Harry," she said. She looked at Jonathan. "Can you please make sure he behaves?"

"Of course," Jonathan said, as he and Tony headed into the house.

Tony dialed the hospital. Luckily, a nurse who knew where they were answered. She knocked on the doorway of Vincent's room.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but you have a phone call," she said to Kristin.

She headed out to the reception area.

"Tony? Jonathan?" she said, confused.

"Uh, hi," Tony said. "Wendy wanted us to call and find out when you were coming home."

Jonathan elbowed Tony hard in the arm causing Tony to cry out. Jonathan ignored him and said, "A few of us from the crew stopped over to see Harry," he explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said apologetically. "We were visiting a patient here. Have you been waiting long?"

"Yeah, actually-" Tony began.

Jonathan elbowed him again.

"Ow!" Tony cried.

"What's the matter?" Kristin asked, oblivious to the goings-on between Jonathan and Tony.

"Uh, nothin', Doc. We haven't been waiting that long," he corrected.

"Nice save," Jonathan muttered under his breath.

"Just tell everyone to sit tight. We'll be home shortly," she promised before cutting the link.

She hurried back to Vincent's room and sat next to the bed. "Do you think we could come by another time?" she asked. "Harry has some people waiting at home who really want to see him."

"I do?" Harry asked.

She nodded. "But, we can come back tomorrow, if you'd like."

Harry looked at Vincent.

"It's OK," Vincent assured him, but the disappointment in his voice as evident.

But, reluctantly, they all left, promising to return the next day, unaware of the festivities that awaited them.

Back at home, everyone waited anxiously. Wendy paced nervously, worried the food would go bad before they got there.

Nathan eased the car into the driveway. "Uh, I think this is more than a few people," he said, upon seeing she scores of vehicles parked there.

"Aunt Wendy planned a party," Kristy said cheerfully. "I can't believe she didn't tell me."

Harry smiled. "Because she knows you'd spill the beans. But I can't believe everyone's here for me."

Nathan parked the car and they entered the house.

Everyone yelled, "Surprise! Welcome home, Harry!"

Immediately, hugs and kisses began. Cynthia rushed forward and hugged Harry.

"Cynnie!" he cried.

"This," she said, handing him a present, "is for you."

"Thanks," Harry said.

Kristin waited patiently until Cynthia noticed her mother. Then, Cynthia stood and hugged her mother tightly.

"I thought you couldn't make it back here for a while?" Kristin asked.

Cynthia smiled. "We pulled some strings, but don't expect me home for Christmas."

Kristin threw her a look, but Cynthia laughed and said, "I'm kidding; I'm kidding. Actually, we have a few new people working for us, so that gave us some time. Besides, Malique and I have something to tell you."

Malique stepped forward and Cynthia held out her left hand.

"Oh my," Kristin said, feeling happy tears coming to her eyes. "My baby's getting married." She wrapped Cynthia in another hug.

"Are you happy?" Cynthia asked. "I know I didn't really tell you Malique and I were a couple."

"I'm very happy," Kristin confirmed. She hugged Malique as well. "I'd be honored to have you as a son-in-law."

"Thank you," Malique said.

After everyone had said their hellos, Wendy led everyone to the beach. "We'd better eat."

As everyone headed outside, Kristin and Nathan caught Wendy. Kristin hugged her tightly. "I can't believe you've done it again."

"Well, I wanted to do something special, get us all together one last time."

"We really don't know how to thank you," Nathan added.

"The smiles on Harry's face are thanks enough," she assured them.

"I'm sorry we sort of ruined your plans."

"Now worries," Wendy said. "It all worked out. Are you hungry?"

"Starved," they both confirmed. They all headed outside.

By late afternoon, the party had started breaking up. There was a table filled with presents that Harry hadn't even made a dent in.

"You need some help there, Champ?" Nathan asked. "You look tired." He noticed that Harry had only opened a few, and he had a rather glum look on his face.

"It's not that exactly," Harry said. "I just can't help thinking about Vincent. And, these are great. They really are. But, I really don't need all these things. I was thinking…do you think maybe I could bring him some of these gifts?"

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Do you think people would get upset. He picked up some of the presents he had already opened. "I mean, I already have this book," he pointed out. "And, I'll bet Vincent would love this remote control truck. And, I know there are other kids in the children's ward at the hospital…"

Nathan sighed. "They're your gifts. You can do what you like. I think donating them is a lovely thing, if that's what you want."

Harry smiled, eagerly started to unwrap things then. He began making piles of gifts he was donating and selected a few he would keep himself. When all was said and done, his donation pile was much larger than his keep pile.

Kristin walked towards them. "What's all this?" she asked.

"I'm going to donate some of my presents to the other children in the hospital."

Kristin gave him a surprised look.

"Dad said it was OK."

She smiled. "I'm not upset, Darling. I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom," Harry said with a smile.


	24. The Climb

**A/N: I'd just like to take a minute to thank all the readers and reviewers. Your support means a lot. Thank you so much.**

**Chapter 24**

The next day, Harry woke early. He washed and dressed and quietly knocked on his parents' bedroom door.

"Come in," Kristin mumbled sleepily.

"Mom?" Harry whispered as he opened the door.

Kristin sat straight up upon hearing his voice, suddenly overcome with fear and worry that something was wrong. "Are you alright?" she asked. "Are you feeling sick?"

"No, Mom; I'm fine," Harry assured her, coming over to her bedside. "I was just letting you know I was ready."

"Ready?" Kristin asked, confused. "Ready for what, Dear?"

"You said we'd go to the hospital today, remember?"

"Do you know what time it is? It's a little early for visiting hours, isn't it?" she asked as she crawled out of bed.

Harry smiled. "I know what time it is, but you must not. It's almost nine, Mom."

Kristin looked at the clock. She was surprised because Harry was right.

Nathan began to stir. "Is something wrong?" he mumbled.

"No," Kristin replied. "We've only just slept the morning away. It's going on nine AM."

"No one else is awake?" Nathan asked in shock. He got out of bed and stretched. "Well, we were up pretty late last night."

"Well, Harry and I are heading to the hospital this morning. Are you going to come along?" Kristin asked.

Nathan looked at Harry. "Do you mind if I don't, Champ?" he asked.

"No, it's fine," Harry said. He turned to his mother. "I'm going to go eat some breakfast."

"I'll be down in fifteen minutes," she promised.

"OK, thanks, Mom," Harry said as he left.

Kristin looked at Nathan.

"I wanted to spend some extra time with Robert and Michael," he explained. "I thought Harry might understand."

"Oh," she said in understanding. "Of course. But, we probably won't see you until later then. Harry has his deposition this afternoon, and I have an appointment with Liz."

"I'll have dinner ready when you get back," he said with a smile.

She kissed him on the cheek. "See you later?"

"You bet," he said.

Fifteen minutes later, Kristin was washed, dressed, and downstairs as she promised. She grabbed a muffin and a quick cup of coffee. Then, she and Harry carried the presents he was donating out to the car.

"All set?" Kristin asked Harry.

"I think so," he said as they both got into the car.

Twenty minutes later, they had arrived at the hospital. Kristin instructed Harry to wait so she could get some help to carry all the gifts so they wouldn't have to make several trips back to the car, something Harry couldn't do considering he was still healing.

A moment later, she returned with a few male orderlies to help her. Then, she and Harry followed them into the elevator and up to the children's ward.

When they arrived in Vincent's room, there was a woman sitting with him. She looked only a few years older than Kristin, tall and thin and lovely with dark hair and green eyes.

"Hi," Vincent said with a smile when he saw them. "Grandma, I want you to meet my new friends."

The woman stood and smiled at them. "Hello," she greeted them, extending her hand. "You must be Harry. Vincent told me so much about you."

"It's so nice to meet you, ma'am," Harry said.

The woman laughed. "And such a gentleman too. You can call me Barbara, please." She turned to Kristin. "And you must be Harry's mother."

Kristin shook her hand. "Please call me Kristin."

After the acquaintances, Harry showed Vincent some of the gifts. "My family and friends gave me a huge homecoming party yesterday. They gave me a ton of gifts, but it's honestly more than I need. Besides, my room on the _seaQuest_ isn't big enough to hold everything, and well, I just really want to help the kids that are still here, give them something to make them happy." He placed some of the presents on Vincent's lap.

"Oh, Harry, are you sure? I couldn't…" He looked at Barbara as if looking for her approval.

She had a few fresh tears in her eyes, happy tears at Harry's kind gesture. "Go ahead," she said, smiling through her tears.

Kristin handed her a tissue from the nearby table and grabbed one for herself as well.

Vincent started opening the remote control car on his lap. While the boys were playing, Barbara pulled Kristin aside.

"I really don't know how to thank you for this," she said.

Kristin shook her head. "Don't thank me," she said. "It was all Harry's idea."

"You should be very proud."

"I am," Kristin beamed. She hesitated for a few minutes. Then, she finally mustered enough courage to ask the question weighing on her mind. "Can I ask what happened to his parents?"

"The war," she answered. "They both served in the military, and they both died serving our country."

"I'm so sorry," Kristin said sympathetically.

"Thank you," she said. "My husband and I were Vincent's only living relatives. We only had the one daughter, so there was no question about raising him. My husband passed away two years ago. And, shortly after that, Vincent got sick."

Kristin tried to search for some comforting words for her, but there wasn't much she could say.

"Don't worry," she said, knowing what Kristin was trying to do. "There's nothing you can do or say. You're going through the same thing."

Kristin nodded. "But right now, it's hard to believe Harry's sick."

"He's doing fairly well, isn't he?"

"For now, yes. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous about him starting treatments again next week."

"Well, I'll say a prayer for him. Lord knows I say enough for Vincent."

"Thank you. I'll say a few for him too," Kristin assured her. "So, he's been ill for a while now?"

"Over a year. He's stage three. That means-"

Kristin put a hand up. "You don't have to explain," she said gently. "I'm a doctor myself."

"Really? I'm a nurse. I work over at St. Mary's."

"Small world," Kristin said. Then a thought occurred to her. "If you work at another hospital, why is Vincent here?"

"Dr. Elder's reputation. She's supposed to be the best. And, I believe if she wasn't his doctor, he wouldn't be here today."

The two women looked on at the two boys laughing and chatting happily. Then, after several minutes, Barbara spoke in a hushed voice. "Vincent's not going to get any better, you know?"

"You mean…" Kristin's voice trailed off.

"Dr. Elders has done everything she can, but he's not responding very well to any of the treatments available. He's alive for now…but eventually, it's going to take his life. It's more a matter of when."

Kristin just stared at her, waiting for the woman before her to fall apart.

"Oh, don't worry. I've come to accept it. I've cried buckets over it, and I've done a lot of praying. But, sometimes we need to accept that certain people are only with us for so long. We just have to appreciate the time we have with them, cherish every moment," Barbara whispered.

Kristin, however, couldn't help but shed some tears over this, thinking about Vincent, Barbara, and her own son. She wiped her eyes with the tissue in her hand.

Barbara put an arm around her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry, Sweetie."

Kristin waved her off gently. "It's alright…I was just thinking…you're _so_ young…and Vincent…"

Barbara laughed lightly. "I'm probably a little older than you think. I'm forty-eight. I admit, though, I had my daughter when I was just twenty. So, I might be a little younger than some grandparents."

"Well, I'm forty-four," Kristin told her. "Honestly, I expected you to be a little old woman. I'm sorry."

"For what, Dear? I'm not upset. Don't worry."

As the morning went on, Harry had delivered presents to every child in the ward, putting a smile on their faces. Afterwards, he went back to Vincent's room to visit more.

But, as it got closer to the deposition, Kristin finally had to break up the good time. "I'm sorry, but we're going to have to leave," she told Harry.

"Aw, Mom, can't we stay?"

She shook her head. "Don't you remember? We have appointments."

"Can we come back later?"

She sighed. "How about tomorrow. You need some rest too, or you'll be back in here."

At that moment, Dr. Elders walked in. She had heard the tail end of the conversation and so, she decided to help Kristin out. "Your mother's right. You need to remember, you're still sick too. And if you're not healed properly, we can't start your treatments again, which means you won't be able to get on the seaQuest any sooner." She knew that was Harry's ultimate goal since he'd expressed it so many times to her. Then she added, "How about you call Vincent later? And, you can see him tomorrow."

"Alright," Harry agreed. His words were somewhat reluctant, but he knew, deep down, it was all for his own good.

Kristin and Barbara exchanged phone numbers as well. "Call me any time," Kristin said to her.

"Me too…please," Barbara replied.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

After the deposition, Kristin knew she had to get Harry home. He was exhausted, although he tried to hide it. But, Kristin could see right through it. "I shouldn't have kept you out all day," she muttered.

"Mom, I feel fine," Harry insisted, but his face was pale.

"No, you don't." she said. "Stop trying to fool me. I know you wanted to help Vincent and all the other children. And, I'm proud of you. I really am. But, you've got to remember you have to take care of yourself as well."

"I thought you had an appointment too."

"I do, but I'm going to be a little late, I guess. You need to get home and rest."

A short time later, they arrived home. Kristin helped Harry inside. "Nathan," she called.

"He's not here," Wendy answered, coming in from the other room. "They're out sailing. I thought you were going to be out all day."

"Well, Harry needs some rest. I'm already late for my appointment with Liz. I know you've done so much for us already, but-"

"I'll make sure he rests," Wendy promised.

"Thank you," Kristin said gratefully. She gave Harry a kiss. "Just stay in bed until I get back."

Harry nodded, deciding not to argue anymore.

She gave him a small smile and headed towards the door. "Just tell Nathan I'll see him later."

"I will," Wendy promised.

With that, Kristin headed out the door and was on her way once again. When she arrived at Dr. McGath's office, she walked in apologizing. "I am so sorry I'm late," she said to Liz's secretary.

"Just have a seat," the secretary said. "I'll let the doctor know you're here."

Kristin did so, thinking about Harry and starting to feel guilty that she didn't take better care of him already.

A short time later, Dr. McGath walked in the waiting room. "Kristin," she said with a smile, "come on back."

Kristin stood, being shaken out of her thoughts and followed Liz. "I'm sorry I'm late," she said again.

"It's not a problem. My last session ran late anyway, so you would have been waiting yourself if you were any earlier. So, how are things? Harry certainly had a good time yesterday, didn't he? I'm only sorry we didn't get a chance to speak much. You were a little preoccupied," Liz said.

Kristin nodded, remembering that she spent little time with anyone else but her immediate family the day before. "Things are fine," she said. "Harry's still a little tired, naturally. He's at home resting now."

"Good," Liz said. "Well, have a seat. Now that things are going better, we can get back down to business. The trial's set for a month from today. The prosecution really doesn't want this to drag out any longer. The longer we wait, that gives the defense team more time to prepare. Of course, they're just loving the fact the trial's been delayed already."

Kristin hesitated slightly, not sure what to say.

"Of course, we all know it isn't anyone's fault," Liz added, seeing the look on Kristin's face.

"Do you…do you think Mr. Sanderson could actually go free? The thought never really occurred to her before, and now that she started thinking about the trial once again and the events that happened in Spain, she started to feel a little scared again.

Liz shrugged her shoulders. "It depends on what the jury decides. You need to remember, the job of the defense team isn't to prove his innocence. He had admitted he did it. However, it's the charges the defense team disagrees with. They think he should get attempted manslaughter, a lesser charge. That would mean less jail time. They want to put doubt into the minds of the members of the jury. If they doubt he actually planned your death, premeditated it, he could be free within a couple of years."

Kristin was silent.

"Are you alright?" Liz asked, noticing the immediate change in Kristin's mood.

"I guess it's just a shock," she admitted. "I guess I never anticipated it. And with everything's that's happened, the delay, I actually had pushed a lot of this from my mind. And now that I'm remembering it again…"

"You're taking a step backward?" Liz offered.

Kristin nodded, feeling a few tears fall.

Liz sat next to her and offered her arms to her.

Kristin accepted and hugged her tightly, shedding a few more tears.

"It's OK, Honey. We're going to get through this," Liz soothed.


	25. Let Me In

**Chapter 25**

It was late afternoon by the time Kristin came home. She walked in and set her keys down on the table by the door. The house seemed quiet. That was fine for her; she didn't much feel like seeing anyone as it was.

A moment later, however, Nathan came in the entryway. "I thought I heard you."

"Oh, hi," she said, "I-I'm sorry I'm late. I missed dinner."

Nathan nodded, giving her a kiss on the cheek hello. "It's fine; I saved you a plate. Salmon; your favorite."

She forced a smile for him. "Thank you."

"Why don't we go into the kitchen, and I'll reheat it for you? Then, you can tell me about your day," Nathan suggested.

But Kristin shook her head. "I'm not that hungry," she admitted. She pushed past him to head up the stairs. "I'd really just like to check on Harry."

Nathan followed her. "He's fine," he assured her. "Wendy and I have been checking on him. He's asleep and has been practically the whole time you've been gone."

"Did he eat?" she asked worriedly.

"Yes," Nathan told her. "He's fine, just tired. There's no need to be upset."

She nodded. "Well, I still want to look at him." She continued on her way up to his room.

She and Nathan walked into Harry's room.

"See?" Nathan whispered. "Fast asleep."

She looked him over to be sure. He seemed fine, but she wanted to see for herself.

"Kristin?" Nathan said when she didn't answer.

She nodded. "You're right. I…just wanted to check. I'm feeling a little tired," she admitted. "I'm going to lie down."

Nathan watched her leave, somewhat baffled by her behavior. He decided to follow her after a moment. He walked into the bedroom, but she was in the bathroom with the door closed. He waited, but he could have sworn he heard soft, muffled sobs. He walked up to the closed door. "Kristin? Sweetheart?" he said.

"I-I told you I'm just tired," she said.

Nathan could hear the tears in her voice. "That's fine; I thought I'd stay with you. We've been apart all day and-"

Kristin walked out of the bathroom at that moment, trying to avoid eye-contact with him. She walked past him and lay on the bed, her back turned to him.

He lay next to her, putting his arm around her and trying to pull her close. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said quietly. "I've just had a long day, and I don't feel like talking at the moment."

"But you're crying," Nathan pointed out. His words were laced with concern. He hadn't seen Kristin act like this in a while, and he was worried.

"No, I'm not," she lied.

Nathan decided not to push her for the moment, recalling how badly that turned out the last time. He just held her and tried to get some sleep himself. But several minutes later, he heard soft sniffles. He opened his eyes to see her shoulders trembling slightly. He sat up and put his hand on her shoulder, gently urging her to turn to him. "Kristin, Honey, what's the matter?"

She stood and walked towards the window, her back still turned to him. "I…I thought you had fallen asleep," she said through her tears.

Nathan walked over to her. "Kristin, you're scaring me. Please tell me what's going on." His words were desperate now. He didn't like seeing her cry.

Finally she turned to him and put his arms around him. She sobbed into his shoulder, quiet, painful sobbing.

Nathan couldn't do anything but wrap his arms tightly around her and rub her back. "Just let it out," he whispered. "I'm here."

Finally, her tears subsided. Nathan, however, didn't let go. He just asked, "Kristin?"

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice muffled against his shoulder.

"There's no need to apologize," Nathan assured her. "But I wish you'd tell me what the problem was."

"I…I…" she began, her voice shaking. Her face was still hidden in Nathan's shoulder.

Nathan gently pushed her forward so he could look at her face. He put his arm around her and led her to sit down on the bed. He grabbed a tissue from the bedside table and dried her eyes. "Just try to calm down," he said gently. "Take a few deep breaths."

She did so, trying to calm down enough to speak. "I…I'm scared," she choked out.

"Of what?" he asked.

She sighed deeply. "The closer we get to the trial...in my session with Liz, she told me that Jesse Sanderson…he…"

"He what?"

"The defense team's had more time to prepare with the delays. All they need to do is put reasonable doubt into the jury members' minds, and he walks free within a few short years." She broke into sobs once again. "And now that the trial is getting closer, those old feelings are coming back. Nathan, I don't think I can do this."

Nathan held her and let her cry a bit more. As her cries quieted, he said, "So, what do you propose we do? Walk away? Go back to seaQuest? Run away from this?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "It doesn't sound like a bad idea," she admitted.

"Without your testimony, Jesse Sanderson will get that lesser charge," he reminded her. "Is that a chance you want to take?"

Of course, logically, Kristin knew she couldn't refuse to testify. She'd be in contempt of court. She shook her head. "No."

Nathan sighed. "I take that's why you were gone most of the day. Your session with Liz went all this time?"

She nodded. "And if she'd had her way, it still would be going on. I'm a mess," she admitted. "I'm falling apart, and I can't help it. I don't know how to stop it. And, if that isn't bad enough, I didn't say 'no' to Harry this morning. He was out half the day, over-exerting himself, and I looked the other way."

Nathan wrapped his arms around her once again. "You're not falling apart. You're just taking a few steps backward."

"But I was doing just fine-" she began.

"And you still are," Nathan assured her.

"But…I shouldn't feel this way."

"Why not? Who says how should or shouldn't feel?"

"Our son is going through so much, and I'm her whining because I was assaulted. It's small in comparison. There are so many people going through worse things. I shouldn't feel this way," she said again. Then she added, "We met Vincent's grandmother this morning. Do you know she's just a few years older than I am?"

"Really? That's not that hard to believe though," Nathan admitted. "And?"

"And she told me that Vincent's terminal," she said quietly.

"Oh no," Nathan exclaimed softly. "Does Harry know?"

She shook her head. "I don't want him to know either, not yet anyway. But, see what I mean about others going through worse?"

"You shouldn't feel guilty for how you feel. It's not like you can prevent it. You're still dealing with the trauma. Everyone handles things differently," Nathan said.

Kristin shook her head. "But, I'm supposed to be stronger." She felt the lump in her throat grow larger again, causing a twinge in her voice.

"Supposed to be? Where did you get the idea you weren't strong?" Nathan asked.

"I'm obviously not," she said. "I wouldn't be hiding in here if I were." She felt a few miserable tears fall once again.

Nathan shook his head. What was it going to take her to understand? Put his hands on her shoulders and lifted her chin up and looked into her eyes. "You are so much stronger than you think."

She gave him a doubtful look. "But-"

"But, nothing," he said sternly. "You are. I wish you'd stop feeling guilty for everything. You haven't done anything. None of this is your fault. You've already done a tremendous amount of healing. A minor setback is nothing to get all up in arms about. You're feeling awful today; tomorrow will be better. It's just one day at a time."

Kristin didn't argue with his logic. Nathan did have some very good points. She couldn't help how she was feeling. And, she had come a long way already. "One day at a time," she repeated.

"So, are you hungry now?" he asked hopefully.

She smiled. It was small, but genuine. "No, but maybe a cup of tea would be nice," she admitted.

"I can handle that. I'll be right back."

Kristin sighed as he left the room. She headed to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She looked a fright, her face swollen and puffy from crying. She took some cool water from the tap and splashed it on her face. Then, she toweled off. She looked in the mirror once again, deciding she looked a little better. She stepped out once again, seeing Nathan reenter the room with two steaming cups.

He set them on the small table near the window. "Mint tea, your favorite," he said.

She sat down and held the warm cup in her hand. "Thank you," she said before taking a sip.

"You're welcome," he said, doing the same.

For a while, the two sat in silence, sipping tea and looking out the window at the gently rolling waves. Finally, Nathan asked, "Are you feeling better?"

"A little," she said. "I guess it's just going to take some time. I'll just be glad when it's all over. The trial's a month from today."

"Another month?" Nathan had hoped it would be a little sooner. He was eager to get back to seaQuest too. "Well, once it's over, you'll feel better."

"I hope so," she said.

Nathan reached across the table and took her hand in his. "You will, and you'll have me, as long as you tell me when you need me."

She sighed. "I'm not trying to worry you."

"I know, and I know you want to try to solve things on your own. But, sometimes, strength comes from admitting you need help."

She nodded.

The two finished their tea.

"You still feel like lying down?" Nathan asked her.

She nodded. "For a little while."

"You want me to leave you alone?"

She shook her head. "Please don't. I can't do this alone," she admitted.


	26. Halo

**Chapter 26**

**Three weeks later**

Although Kristin's minor setback was disturbing for her, she didn't allow it to ruin her. She spent many hours with Liz, and she did her best not to show her vulnerability to anyone. In fact, most days, no one ever suspected a problem at all, save for Nathan, who knew the truth. Besides Liz, he was the only one she confided in. Considering all Harry was still going through, she refused to allow herself to fall the way she had before. Therefore, her main focus was on him and the rest of her family.

But, at night, when the others were asleep, her fears would consume her, and she'd cry in Nathan's arms. For Nathan, he was grateful for this. He knew how hard she was trying, and he was proud of her. But, he was happy he could be there for her. And, since she'd been seeing Liz, he knew she was making even more progress since nights like these were becoming rarer.

Harry and Lucas both were making progress as well. Lucas was happy he finally got to drive his Stinger, and he didn't do any joy-riding, since he promised Kristin. He was still taking things easy, since he was still healing. But, he was making progress every day and taking it easy. There were days he'd try too much and get lectured by Kristin and Wendy, but most days, he was good, mainly because he knew his limits. And he didn't enjoy the 'lectures' his own body gave him.

Harry had started his chemo treatments along with the arsenic trioxide as Dr. Elders had ordered, in small doses to start. The first treatment did wear him down, a distressing fact. However, everyone expected it and knew it was to happen. Harry, himself, didn't let it slow him down too much. A few days later, he was back up once again, asking to go see his new friend, Vincent.

In fact, Harry was with Vincent every chance he got. Harry wasn't told about the progression of Vincent's cancer. Everyone knew that terminality didn't always mean a death sentence. In Barbara's mind, she had a small hope that Harry's visits may have some kind of effect on Vincent's cancer, perhaps a healing benefit, as it were. Logically, she knew that was unlikely, but stranger things had happened. It was certainly not unheard of that terminal cancer patients could heal instantly, something medical science could not explain. These instances were rare, but the hope was there.

Kristin and Barbara had become close friends in the past few weeks as well. There was an instant bond formed between the two, both caring for a child with APL. And, the two women actually had a lot in common as well. Kristin was careful not to share all the details of her trauma, however. It wasn't that she was trying to deceive her. It was rather that Barbara had gone through so much loss and trauma herself over the years that Kristin didn't want to add to that.

But still, the two women had found some comfort in one another's company. Although Harry's treatments had brought back some of the worry, Kristin was grateful to see Barbara on those days. When she wasn't working, Barbara would sit with her and keep her company. Harry's third treatment was today.

Nathan gently shook her shoulder, waking her out of her sleep. "Kristin, it's time to get up," he whispered.

Kristin stirred and mumbling, "I'm awake."

"You know, if you want to stay home and sleep, I'd be happy to take him," Nathan offered.

Kristin sat up and shook herself into reality. "No, it's fine. Barbara and I have plans anyway." Then she added, "Besides, I thought you and the boys had plans." The 'boys' were Robert, Lucas, and Michael. Nathan had made a point to repair his relationship with them, and they'd been doing a lot of bonding.

Nathan shrugged his shoulders. "There's always time for that. I just don't want Harry to think I'm abandoning him."

Kristin shook her head as she got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. "He doesn't think that," she called through the door. "He knows you love him."

"Well, as long as you're sure," Nathan said. "Do you have an appointment with Liz today?"

"No, it's tomorrow, remember? We don't have sessions on the days Harry has treatments. It's too much."

"So, you'll be home early?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, opening the door to look at him. "What's wrong?" She noted the worry in his voice.

"Nothing's wrong," he said. "I was just going to ask you on a date. We've both been so busy the past few weeks; we've barely had enough energy for each other. I think we need a night out alone."

Kristin raised an eyebrow as she thought.

Nathan noticed the doubt on her face. "Wendy already said she'd look after Harry and Kristy. What do you say?"

She thought for another moment and finally conceded. "Alright," she agreed. "I suppose a night out would be good for us."

Nathan nodded in agreement. "Let me go downstairs and make you some breakfast," he offered.

She smiled. "Thank you. Be down in a bit."

Fifteen minutes later, she was washed and dressed. She headed downstairs to find the others already downstairs, eating.

Nathan placed a fresh cup of coffee and a fresh plate of French toast in front of her empty chair. "Come and eat before it gets cold," he urged.

She obliged and started eating.

Harry, however, didn't think she was going fast enough. "Hurry up, Mom!"

Nathan chuckled. "You're eager to get to the hospital?"

"I want to see Vincent," he explained. "Since we met, we've been having out treatments at the same time. It helps when you have a buddy. Besides, we always have such a good time."

Kristin looked at her watch. "We still have a half an hour. No need to worry."

Harry sighed. "Fine, just don't be late. I'm going to go get a few books to bring with me."

"Yes, Sir," she said with a mock salute. She turned to Nathan. "I really find it sweet the way he's taken to Vincent, though."

Nathan nodded. As the others drifted out of the dining room, and Kristin finished eating, the two sat and talked quietly over coffee. "Have you considered telling Harry the truth?" he asked.

Kristin was speechless for a moment. "I…I don't think it's the best idea," she began.

"Kristin, he's a lot smarter than you think. He's going to figure it out."

Kristin sighed. "I'm not trying to deceive him," she admitted. "I think Harry knows the possibility is there, the same way it is with him, with any of the children going through the same thing. But, the problem is Barbara doesn't want Vincent to know. If we tell Harry-"

"Tell Harry what?" Harry asked, coming back into the dining room, books in hand.

Kristin and Nathan exchanged worried glances.

Harry looked at them both. "There's something wrong," he noted. "Did the doctor call? Am I getting sicker?" he asked in alarm.

Nathan went up to him and gathered him in his arms. He sat back down with the boy in his lap. "No, you are not getting sicker. You know your mother and I would never keep your health a secret from you."

"OK," Harry said. He looked at Kristin once again. He noticed her eyes were downcast, and she looked as though she was going to cry. "Well, if it's not that, what is it?"

Kristin sighed. "It's Vincent," she said quietly without looking up.

"What's wrong with Vincent?" Harry asked worriedly. "We just saw him yesterday. He was fine."

"Calm down, Champ," Nathan soothed. "Vincent's still fine."

"I don't understand."

Kristin forced herself to look into Harry's eyes. "You can't tell Vincent because he doesn't know," Kristin explained, "but he's terminal."

Harry didn't say anything for a long time.

"We are so sorry, Champ," Nathan finally said. "We know this is hard to hear."

"I can't…I don't…are you sure?" Harry finally choked out.

"Barbara told me weeks ago," Kristin said.

"Weeks ago?" Harry questioned. "You mean, you knew this whole time, and you never told me?"

"I didn't want it to affect you and your healing," Kristin explained apologetically.

Harry said nothing. He slid off Nathan's lap and grabbed his books off the table. "I'll be waiting in the car. You'd better hurry, or we'll be late." With that, he walked out of the house, slamming the door hard behind him.

Kristin cringed slightly at the slamming of the door.

Nathan looked at her apologetically. "I didn't know he was going to hear us."

She nodded. "I know; I'm not angry." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I really don't have the time to talk about it though."

"Later then," he assured her.

She nodded, forcing a small smile as she headed out the door.

Harry sat in the back seat, his arms crossed. He was staring out the window until he saw Kristin. Then, he turned and looked out the other window, away from her view.

She got in the driver's seat and started the car. Once on the way to the hospital, she decided to try to resolve the conflict. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever," Harry mumbled.

"You don't believe me?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I nearly lost you, and I didn't want anything to ruin your positive attitude," she explained. "Call me selfish," she added.

After a few moments, Harry said, "I'm not angry with you."

"You're not?" she asked, looking in the rearview mirror at him.

He shook his head. "I'm just angry. Why Vincent?"

"That doesn't mean he's going to die tomorrow, you know. It could be a year before anything happens," she explained.

"I know," Harry said. "And I know doctors aren't gods. You've explained this stuff to me. I know he could get better. But, most of the time, that never happens."

Kristin sighed. After a few minutes, she asked, "You promise you won't tell him? Or treat him differently? You know, Barbara believes you're really helping him. She doesn't want Vincent to know, so you can't say anything. Just keep doing what you've been doing."

Harry thought for a while. Then, he finally said, "I promise. I'll do my best not to think about it, just enjoy the time we have together."

Kristin smiled. "Exactly."

Once they arrived at the hospital, Harry slid out of the car and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry."

She gently removed his arms and knelt before him, giving him a tight hug. "I'm sorry too. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom."

With that, they entered the building. Harry was hooked up to his IV for his treatment a few minutes later.

"I wonder where Vincent is," Harry commented once he was settled.

Kristin wondered the same thing, but she didn't want to say it out loud. She had a sudden sinking feeling.

At that moment, Barbara walked in. Kristin searched her face for a sign, a smile or a frown. She walked up to Harry and smiled. "Hey, Kiddo."

"Hi." Harry smiled back at her. "Where's Vincent?"

"He's not feeling well enough for a treatment," she said. "The doctor wants him to be a little stronger before doing so, and, well, frankly, he's not. But, he's really eager to see you. If you're not feeling too poorly afterwards, why don't you come on up and say hi?"

"Can we, Mom?" Harry asked hopefully.

"For a few minutes," Kristin said. "But we won't be able to stay long. Today's a stronger dose for you. I'm sure you'll be out of commission."

Harry nodded knowingly. He looked back down at his book.

"Hey, Harry, do you mind if I take your Mom away, just for a minute?" Barbara asked.

Harry shook his head. "It's fine."

Barbara took Kristin gently by the arm and led her into the hallway. Once there, Barbara's smile faded, and the tears fell. Kristin wrapped her arms around her, trying to comfort her.

After several moments, Barbara managed to choke out, "V-vincent…he's….he's not…the doctor doesn't know if he'll make it much longer."

"Oh, Sweetheart!" Kristin exclaimed. She wanted to comfort her, tell her everything was going to be alright. But, the truth was, that wasn't true. "I'm so sorry."

Barbara nodded. Somehow, she managed to compose herself. "I know Harry's going to wiped out after this, but if you could try to stop by afterwards. I'd hate for Harry not see him one last time…in case."

Kristin nodded, feeling her own chin start to quiver from the tears she was holding back herself. "I hope you're not upset, but Harry knows about Vincent. He heard Nathan and I talking about it."

"Oh," she said. "How did he take it?"

Kristin shrugged her shoulders. "Not too well, but better than I expected. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet. He only just found out this morning. He says he won't tell Vincent."

Barbara sighed. "I appreciate that. I, uh, suppose I should get back to him."

"I'll see you in a bit," Kristin promised.

After Harry's treatment ended, nausea set in, which was common. After Harry was feeling well enough, he asked, "Can we go see Vincent now?" He tried standing up.

Kristin put a hand out to stop him. "Oh, no you don't. Let me get a wheelchair."

"Mom," Harry whined softly. But upon seeing the look on her face, he conceded. "Fine," he muttered.

A moment later, Kristin was pushing an exhausted Harry in the wheelchair up to Vincent's room.

"Hi," Barbara greeted them when she saw them. "How're you feeling?" she asked Harry.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Tired," he admitted.

Barbara noted how pale Harry looked. "You don't have to stay long." She nodded her head towards Vincent, who was sleeping. "I promised I'd wake him when you got here." She proceeded to coax the child out of his sleep.

Kristin noted how deathly pale the boy looked, even more so than Harry. That frightened her. Being a doctor, she knew what that look could mean, but she pushed it to the back of her mind.

"Hi," Vincent said weakly. Despite how ill he was feeling, he managed a bright smile.

He and Harry talked for a few minutes. But, Harry began to feel nauseous once again, so the visit was short.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Harry promised.

"Call me," Kristin mouthed to Barbara, and Barbara nodded.

As Kristin wheeled Harry down the hall to the elevator, Harry said, "We'll come back tomorrow, right Mom?"

"Of course, Sweetheart." She only hoped Vincent would still be around for the visit.

**Later that evening**

Nathan knocked on the bedroom door. "Are you ready?" he asked.

Kristin emerged a moment later. "All set," she said. She was wearing a lovely green skirt, matching jacket, and a white blouse, casual, but lovely.

"You look gorgeous," she commented when he saw her.

She smiled. "Thank you."

He offered his arm. "Shall we?"

She started to take it, but hesitated. "I just want to check on Harry one more time." She'd already checked on him several times while she was getting ready, but she couldn't resist the urge to do it one more time. After walking into his room and seeing that he was still sound asleep, she felt satisfied, however. She turned to Nathan and slipped her hand around his arm. "I'm ready."

The two headed to the car and left.

"So, where are we going?" she asked.

"I'd ruin the surprise," he said with a smile.

"Surprise?" she questioned, wondering what he had up his sleeve.

"You'll see," Nathan promised.

Kristin nodded. She knew Nathan was trying really hard to have a much-needed night of romance for the two of them. However, she felt her heart wasn't really in it. She couldn't stop thinking about Barbara and Vincent.

Finally, she heard Nathan calling her name.

"What?"

"I asked how your day was. You seem like you're a million miles away."

"I'm sorry." After she had gotten home, Nathan was out with the boys, so they hadn't had time to talk. "It was…trying. Vincent's not doing well. Barbara's a mess."

"And you feel guilty?" Nathan added.

"Is it obvious?"

"You always feel guilty these days. And Harry's doing fairly well considering….and you feel guilty that Vincent isn't."

"Something like that," she admitted. "I'm sorry. I know you wanted this to be something special for the two of us."

Nathan took her hand in his. "It still can be…if you want it to."

He pulled the car over to park. Kristin looked around to see where they were. But, there were no restaurants around. They were at a marina.

"Just trust me." He led her out of the car and down the dock. "I called in a few favors," he explained. "I borrowed the yacht from a friend, but I had a romantic dinner prepared." He helped her onto the boat.

She gasped. "Oh, Nathan, it's lovely."

"There's no pressure here. We can just eat and go home if that's what you'd like…but I wanted to do something to thank you."

"Thank me? For what?" she questioned.

"For being honest with me these past few weeks. I know you're still going through so much, and I know you hide it from everyone else. But I'm happy to be there for you, to hold you, just let you cry on my shoulder."

She responded by kissing him. "I'm happy you're there for me too."


	27. Go the Distance

**Chapter 27**

**One week later; Day one of court**

Everyone waited in the crowded courtroom. Kristin felt nervous, and the trial hadn't even started yet. She sat absentmindedly wringing her hands. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Jesse Sanderson being brought in. He looked rather presentable, dressed in suit and tie since prisoners were not allowed to be seen in prison jumpsuits during trial. She watched him look around the courtroom. Suddenly, their eyes met, and a sinister smile came to his face. She felt her legs start to tremble. No matter how well Liz had prepared her for this day, she never imagined she'd feel such a tremendous amount of fear. She quickly averted her gaze.

After what seemed like a small eternity, the bailiff stood before the courtroom. "All rise; the honorable Caprice Taylor presiding."

Kristin willed her legs to stop trembling as she stood. A lovely red-haired woman near her age came in dressed in a black robe. The woman sat and motioned for the others to be seated as well. After that came an explanation of the charges, an address to the jury, and an address to the on-lookers.

Before Kristin knew it, the judge was calling for a recess.

As people starting filing out of the court Nathan turned to her. "Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Kristin sighed. "We haven't even gotten started yet."

"You OK?" Nathan asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm feeling a little overwhelmed."

He took her hand and squeezed it encouragingly. "We're all here with you." He motioned to the others. The whole crew was there, all waiting to testify.

She gave a small smile.

"That's my girl," Nathan said. "How about we get some lunch?"

An hour later, they were back in the court room. Opening arguments and presentation of evidence were heard, both from the prosecution and the defense team.

After that, the judge announced, "We'll be back in court tomorrow morning, eight AM sharp. Testimony will be heard. Court is adjourned." With the bang of the gavel, everyone cleared out.

Kristin breathed a slight sigh of relief. She hadn't expected all the court protocol to take up so much time. Still, the judge made it clear that this trial would be over in one month. She was looking forward to next month, more than anyone knew.

Nathan put an arm around her. "Well, one day down."

"Only twenty-nine more to go," she added.

"We'll get through it," Nathan assured her. "Let's go home."

**Day two of court**

The next day, after the judge took the stand, she put the case over to the prosecution.

Lily Thorton stood in front of the podium. "State calls Kristin Bridger to the stand."

Kristin took a deep breath. She hadn't realized she'd be the first one to be called. Her legs felt like rubber as she stood. She walked carefully, for fear her legs were going to give out beneath her. But, somehow, she managed to walk up to the stand without falling on her face. The bailiff held the Bible in front of her, and she was sworn in. She was then instructed to sit.

"Would you please state your full name for the ladies and gentlemen of the jury?" Lily asked.

"Kristin Bridger," she answered.

"Do you mind if I call you Kristin?"

"It's fine," she said.

"OK, Kristin, I'd like you to describe in your own words what happened to you the week of October twenty-third," Lily stated.

Kristin took a deep breath. "Some things are a little hard to remember," she said quietly.

"That's alright," Lily assured her. "Just tell us what you _can_ remember."

"Um, OK," she stammered nervously. She looked over to where Nathan and the others were sitting. Nathan gave her an encouraging smile; it was small, but meaningful to her. It gave her the confidence she needed to go forward. "On the twenty-third, I was on_ seaQuest_. I had been in meetings most of the day. After I was finished with my work for the day, I went to get my children and grandson. They were with another crew member. We went to my quarters so I could change. We were going to have some dinner. When I came out, I found the children unconscious."

She paused slightly, since this was the part where she lost some time, not knowing what happened between _seaQuest_ and Spain.

"Please go on," Lily urged.

"Forgive me, but after that, things went dark for a while," Kristin explained. "Apparently, we were drugged. I didn't know where I was when I woke up."

"Were the children with you?"

"Yes, but they were unconscious."

"And when did you find out where you were?"

"A short time after I came to, Mr. Sanderson walked into the room. He told me we were in Cadiz, Spain."

"Did he threaten you in any way?"

"Objection," the defense lawyer called out. "Leading the witness."

"Over-ruled," the judge said. Judge Taylor turned to Kristin. "You may answer the question, Mrs. Bridger."

"He told me if I didn't listen to what he said that the children would suffer the consequences. And if _they _didn't listen, then I would suffer."

"What was the reason for that?"

"He said he was following orders, that it wasn't he who planned it all," Kristin explained. "We were paying for something my husband did, he told me."

"Did he tell you who his boss was?"

"Later, he came for me. Apparently, his boss was Secretary Nyugen. He had my husband and the rest of the crew help hostage. Mr. Nyugen had told me that Nathan was responsible for him losing his family."

"How?"

"Nathan and Mr. Nyugen's son had served together during the war. Apparently, there was an accident, and Mr. Nyugen's son passed away. After that, Mr. Nyugen's wife committed suicide."

"What happened after that?"

"I was forced to strip to my underwear." Her voice became quiet at the memory of it. She took a deep breath. "Um, then, Mr. Sanderson bound my wrists with handcuffs. He then picked me up and hung me from a hook on the wall." She swallowed hard as her voice began to quiver.

The judge kindly offered a small recess for her. She drank some water, took a few deep breaths and composed herself.

Then, she continued, "Mr. Nyugen instructed Mr. Sanderson to do his worst."

"And, what was that?"

"He beat me repeatedly."

"No further questions, your honor," Lily stated.

"Cross examination from the defense?" the judge asked.

Defense attorney Ray Hintz stood and walked to stand in front of the stand. "Mrs. Bridger," he began. "Do you think Jesse Sanderson is fully responsible for what happened to you that day?"

"Objection, your honor," Lily Thorton called. "The witness's opinion has no bearing on the judgment."

"Your honor, if I may be allowed to continue, I'm trying to show that Mr. Sanderson was merely a pawn in Mr. Nyugen's vendetta."

"Sustained. Rephrase your question please."

"Mrs. Bridger, do you think Jesse Sanderson should be punished to the fullest extent for what he did to you that day?"

Kristin paused. "I don't think anyone forced his hand. Just because someone puts a gun in your hand, it doesn't mean you need to pull the trigger. I think Mr. Sanderson was fully aware of what could have happened. I think he should be punished to the fullest extent."

"So, you agree with the attempted murder one?"

"Objection, your honor," Lily called once again. "The witness's opinion has no bearing on the ruling."

"Over-ruled. The jury will disregard the last question."

"Mrs. Bridger, you mentioned that Mr. Sanderson was carrying out Mr. Nyugen's orders?"

"Yes, that's what he said."

"So, if Mr. Nyugen hadn't been involved, do you think Mr. Sanderson would have done what he did?"

"No, I-"

"No further questions, your honor."

The next witness to be called was Harry.

"Could you please state your full name for the court?" Lily asked him.

"Harry Bridger."

"Could you tell us what happened to you and your family in Cadiz?"

"Well, like my mom had said, we were drugged. Mr. Sanderson came in and took my mom. Then, he came back for me. He told me my mom was waiting for me. He brought me into the same room where she had been hurt."

"Did you know she was hurt right away?"

"He left her hanging there by her wrists," Harry said, feeling a few tears threaten to fall. "I…I thought she was dead. I was scared."

"Then, what happened?"

"Mr. Nyugen made me talk to my dad. He tried to convince me that my father was a bad man."

"Do you think your father is a bad man?"

Harry shook his head. "No."

"What happened after that?"

"Basically, Mr. Nyugen told my father that Mr. Sanderson was going to kill me, my sister, and my nephew. He wanted my dad to watch it all. Mr. Sanderson went to a desk in the room and pulled out a handful of knives. I tried to run, get away. But he was throwing the knives at me. One got me in the leg."

"What did you do next?"

"I pulled the knife out of my leg and pointed it at him. I was going to kill him," he admitted. "But my dad told me no. He told me to defend myself but not to stoop to his level."

"And did you defend yourself?"

"I stabbed him in the leg, grabbed the keys off the desk and ran out of the room. I headed back to the room where my sister and nephew were. We knew we had to call for help somehow, but they had to help me with my leg. Michael, that's my nephew, but he's really my age," Harry explained, "he made a tourniquet from his shirt and tied it around my leg to stop the bleeding."

"Then, where did you go?"

"We walked around until we came to the living area. There was a kitchen, a living room, and a vid-phone. Michael and Kristy found a first aid kit and helped patch my leg up. Then, we got hold of my older sister, Cynthia."

"And where was she?"

"She was in the Bahamas. She said she'd make sure she'd find out where we were. While we were waiting, though, Mr. Sanderson escaped. We hid in a closet."

"Then, what happened?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not really sure. The next thing we know, there's a police officer opening the door. They came in and captured him, I guess."

Lily smiled at him. "Well done, Harry. No further questions, your honor."

"Defense, you may cross examine," Judge Taylor announced.

"The defense has no questions at the moment."

After that, Kristy and Michael were called to the stand as well, telling the occurrences from their point of view. The defense opted not to question them either. After that, court was adjourned for the day.

As everyone filed out, Nathan turned to his wife and children. He picked up Kristy in his arms. "I'm so proud of you, all of you."

"Can we go out somewhere and celebrate?" Kristy asked.

"I was hoping we could go see Vincent," Harry said. "Maybe we could all go?"

Nathan looked at Kristin, who nodded. "With the trial, I haven't gotten to talk to Barbara for a few days. I'm sure she must be a basket case."

"How about some ice cream first? And then, we'll go see Vincent? Deal?"

Harry and Kristy smiled. "Deal."

Nathan put an arm around Kristin and the family left the courtroom.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

They had a lovely time at the ice cream parlor. Although it was only the start of the trial, Kristin knew she'd overcome a huge obstacle. She'd been fearing the testimony, and she'd gotten through it. Of course, she knew she could be called again. But, she'd been through it once, so she hoped the next time around would be easier.

Harry gobbled his sundae down fast. "Can we go to the hospital now?" he asked eagerly.

"Hey, no fair," Kristy said. "I've only eaten two bites."

"Well, hurry up," Harry urged.

"There's plenty of time," Nathan reminded. "We'll have plenty of time to see Vincent."

"But we can't stay late. We have to be in court early in the morning," Kristin added.

A short time later, they'd finished their ice cream, and they were on their way.

Harry ran ahead, eager to get to Vincent's room. Kristin, Nathan, and Kristy caught up to him a moment later. But, the look on his face was one of sadness.

"He's not here," Harry explained.

Nathan and Kristin noticed the room was dark. A nurse was walking through the hallway.

"Is there something I can help you with?" she asked sweetly.

"We were wondering about Vincent Jackson; we're friends of his," Kristin explained.

"Oh," the nurse said. The sympathy in her voice was evident. "His grandmother too him home."

Kristin nodded in understanding. Harry looked at her, somewhat confused. "Why would she do that, Mom?"

"I'd better give Barbara a call." She took out her cell phone and dialed.

A minute later, she had written an address down on a scrap of paper. "We'll be right there," Kristin assured her. After hanging up, she turned to Nathan.

"Guess we're going to Vincent's house?"

She nodded.

Harry and Kristy ran ahead. Nathan took the opportunity to take Kristin aside. "How bad is he?"

"Barbara says he doesn't have much time. I guess all he's been talking about is seeing Harry though. She said it's almost like he was waiting for him." She felt a few tears threaten to fall.

Nathan put an arm around her. "Come on."

Once at Vincent's house, Barbara greeted them. She looked frail, her eyes red-rimmed. But, still, she smiled warmly. She wrapped Harry in a hug. "Vincent's been waiting for you. Why don't you go upstairs and see him?" Harry eagerly did so. "You too, Honey," she said to Kristy. She followed her brother up the stairs.

Once the children were out of sight, Kristin offered her arms to Barbara. Barbara gratefully accepted and cried into Kristin's shoulder for a moment.

After several minutes, she composed herself though. "I'm sorry," she said through her tears. "I'm just so grateful to have someone."

"There's no need to apologize," Nathan said.

Kristin nodded.

"Uh, so how's the trial going?"

"It's going," Kristin replied. "I didn't fall apart when I testified."

"Well, that's something. Good for you," Barbara said, wiping her eyes.

"She did wonderfully," Nathan added. "So did the kids."

Barbara nodded. "Do you want to come up and see him?"

"Of course," Kristin said.

She and Nathan followed her up the stairs. Vincent looked terribly tiny and vulnerable in the bed, looking worse than he had the last time they had seen him. "Hi," he said weakly.

"Hello, Vincent. How are you feeling?" Kristin asked, feeling tears come to her own eyes.

"Not so good," he admitted. "But, I'm really glad you brought Harry here. I've been waiting to see him."

"Your grandmother mentioned," Nathan said, putting an arm around Kristin. He noticed she had started to cry, though she was trying to hide it.

After a bit of small talk, Vincent asked the others if they'd leave the room. "I want to talk to Harry alone."

The adults exchanged glances but agreed.

Kristy looked disappointed.

"You know, Sweetheart, I have some chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen with your name on them. How about that?" Barbara asked, trying to distract her.

"OK," Kristy cheered happily.

Meanwhile, Vincent asked Harry to close the door. "You know I'm going to die, don't you?" Vincent asked.

Harry sighed. He didn't want to think he was going to lose his friend. He nodded. "Are you scared?"

Vincent shrugged his shoulders. "Not of dying," he explained. "I'm scared of leaving the people I love behind." He took Harry's hand in his. "I'm just so happy I met you. I never had a lot of friends."

Harry felt tears fall down his face. "Neither have I," Harry admitted. "You've been one of the best."

Vincent smiled. "We'll see each other again someday." Then he added, "Open that drawer." He was pointing to his top dresser drawer. "I have something in there I want to give you."

Harry did so. Inside, there was a wooden box. He took it out and set it on the bed.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Open it," Vincent urged.

Harry did so. Inside were dog tags.

"Those were from my parents. They're my most prized possessions. I want you to have them."

"I'll take good care of them," Harry promised. He felt more tears fall. "I'll never forget you."

"Me either."

The evening got later, so the Bridger family had to leave.

"Call me if anything changes," Kristin whispered, hugging Barbara one last time.

"I will," Barbara assured her.

After a quiet, somber dinner, the children were put to bed. Nathan and Kristin lay in bed themselves, both holding one another, praying that the phone wouldn't ring.

But, just as Kristin started to drift off to sleep, the phone did ring.

"H-hello?" Kristin answered.

"He's gone," Barbara cried.


	28. The Edge of Glory

**Chapter 28**

**Day thirty of court**

"Will the defendant please rise?" Judge Taylor asked. "Jury foreman, have you reached a verdict?"

"Yes, your honor. One the count of premeditated first degree murder, we the jury finds the defendant guilty. On the counts of assault, we the jury find the defendant guilty. On the count of attempted manslaughter, we find the defendant guilty."

"So says the jury," the judge confirmed. "Court will reconvene Monday morning for sentencing." She banged her gavel.

Hugs were exchanged among all the crew members. Nathan hugged Kristin tightly. "How do you feel?"

"Like justice was served," she said with a smile.

"Definitely," he agreed.

Tony came up to them. He put one of his hands on one of each of their shoulders. "We're all taking you out, Cap, to celebrate."

"Sounds good to me," Nathan confirmed. He picked Kristy up and headed out of the court room.

Kristin turned to Harry. He was sitting, looking rather glum. "What's the matter? Aren't you happy?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I guess. I just wish Vincent was here to see it."

She unbuttoned his shirt slightly and pulled out the dog tags. "He is," she assured him. "He's always with you. Maybe we could visit Barbara later? Would you like that?"

Harry nodded. "We haven't gotten to see much of her since the funeral. And, I guess we'll be leaving soon too."

"We need to talk to the doctor about that. You still have four weeks of treatments. You knew the crew might have to go on ahead of us."

Harry nodded. "But. I'm doing fine. The doctor said so. And, Doc Smith can take care of the rest of the treatments. And you'll be there."

"We'll see what happens. I can't make any promises though."

"Fine. I am happy about the verdict though. I hope he goes to jail for a long time."

Even though sentencing hadn't occurred, Kristin was sure he would. "He will."

A minute later, Kristy ran back inside. "Aren't you two coming? Everyone's waiting for you."

Kristin smiled. She took Kristy's hand in one of her own and did the same with Harry's hand. "Let's go."

"Everything OK?" Nathan asked when he saw them.

"Everything's fine," she assured him. "Where are we going?"

"To the hotel. Apparently, Mr. Piccolo rented the hall out for the occasion."

Kristin raised an eyebrow in surprise. "He wouldn't be trying to score points with the captain, would he?"

Nathan laughed. "I'm not sure, but it's not a bad start if he is."

Once at the hotel, everyone had a wonderful time, talking, eating, laughing, and generally, having an excellent time.

After hours of mingling, Kristin found a few moments free to slip away. She dialed Barbara's number.

"Kristin? I heard the verdict on the news. Congratulations."

"Thank you. How have you been doing?"

"Fine, actually. I'd really love to see you though."

"Harry's been asking to see you too. Now that this bloody trial is over with, we'll have a little more time for that. Are you doing anything now?"

"No, actually."

"Why don't you come down to the hotel?" She gave her the address.

As she hung up the phone, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Liz.

"Congratulations," she said with a smile.

Kristin hugged her. "Thank you so much. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Arthur's thrilled as well."

"He's more happy because he has his crew back," Kristin pointed out.

"Well, that too," Liz admitted. "Bill's here too."

"Admiral Noyce? Oh, dear. He's going to want to know when Nathan's coming back. Harry still has four treatments left."

"There'll be time enough to figure that out. Why don't you come back inside?"

"I'm waiting for a friend, actually. I'll see you later?"

"Of course," Liz said with a smile. "I just wanted to let you know how proud everyone is of you."

"Thank you."

With that, Liz left Kristin alone. A short time later, Barbara arrived. The two women hugged.

"Oh, it's so wonderful to see you," Barbara gushed.

"I know," Kristin said. "I'm sorry we haven't gotten a chance to see you since the funeral."

Barbara waved her off. "There's no need to apologize, Dear. And, I've been surviving," she assured her. "I need to get used to being alone again."

"Would you like to come inside and meet my friends and family?" Kristin asked her.

"I'd love to," Barbara said with a smile.

The two entered the hall. Nathan came up to them, giving Barbara a hug in greeting.

"Great to see you," she whispered in his ear.

"You too. How've you been?"

"OK, really," she assured him.

Nathan turned to Kristin. "I was wondering where you'd run off to. There are a lot of people looking for you."

She sighed. "I thought I could slip away unnoticed for a few minutes. Who's been asking?"

"Bill, for one," Nathan told her. "Wendy and Tony too."

Kristin took Barbara's hand. "I guess you'll be meeting some new people."

Barbara shrugged. "Fine with me, as long as I get to see your little ones."

"Oh, they're around here somewhere," Kristin assured her.

"Who's Bill?" Barbara inquired as the two squeezed through the crowd.

"Admiral Noyce. He's Nathan's superior, and mine as well, actually." She sighed. "I'm not really sure why he wants to see me though. He's Nathan's friend. Bill and I haven't always seen eye to eye."

A moment later, Kristin heard Bill call her name. She turned to see him smiling and waving.

"Admiral Noyce," she said with a smile. She held out her hand in greeting.

Bill, however, wrapped her in a hug. "I wanted to congratulate you. In fact, the UEO is quite impressed with your progress, considering everything that's happened."

"Thank you," she said, smoothing her blouse out as Bill broke the hug. "So, Nathan's told you we won't be leaving after all, then?"

"He did, and I couldn't be happier. I didn't want to lose you. In fact, the seaQuest is being remodeled as we speak. The UEO wouldn't go to such great lengths for just anybody."

She nodded. "We appreciate that. Um, let me introduce you to a friend of mine. This is Barbara Jackson."

Bill greeted her, and Barbara did the same.

Meanwhile, Tony and Wendy came up to Kristin. "Excuse me, Admiral, but can we borrow her?"

"I have no objections," Bill said.

Kristin started to protest, however, only because she didn't want to leave Barbara, but Wendy and Tony ignored her.

"Just what is this about?" she demanded, somewhat annoyed.

Wendy sighed. "Your friend seems fine, so don't worry."

"We were looking all over for you, and we wanted to catch you before you disappeared again," Tony said.

He handed her a large, beautifully wrapped box.

"What in the world?" she exclaimed.

"The whole crew chipped in. We thought with everything you've been through-" Wendy began.

"That we wanted to get something special for you. Even when you were going through your problems, you still managed to help all of us," Tony finished.

Kristin felt some happy tears come to her eyes. "You really didn't need to do this."

"We know," Tony said. "But we wanted to."

"Open it," Wendy urged.

Kristin obliged and tore off the paper. "Oh," she breathed, smiling when she saw what was inside. It was a lovely, silver-plated photo album.

"I know some things about these few months weren't things you wanted to remember," Wendy explained. "But I also knew a lot of them were." She opened the album over Kristin's shoulder. "I know there are some things about this trip I don't want to forget."

Kristin leafed through the photo album. There were numerous pictures that Wendy had taken over the months, capturing the many happy times they had shared while in New Cape Quest. After a moment, she stood and wrapped both Wendy and Tony in a bone-crushing hug. "I love it so much. Thank you."

"You're quite welcome," Wendy said with a smile. "Now we'll leave you alone. You and I can always talk later."

"Love you, Doc," Tony said.

"Love you too," Kristin said as Wendy and Tony left her to mingle with the others.

Kristin put the photo album back in the box and went back to Barbara, who was deep in conversation with Bill Noyce.

"I'm so sorry about that," she said. "They wanted to give me a gift."

"It's not a problem at all. Admiral Noyce here was just sharing some interesting details about _seaQuest_."

Bill nodded. "And you didn't mention your friend here was a nurse."

"I really didn't have the time," Kristin admitted.

"Well, you know that medbay is always in need of nurses," Bill added.

Kristin nodded. "Well, I-wait a minute! What did you say?"

Barbara laughed. "Your friend here offered me a job. What do you say about that?"

"I'll tell you what I say," Kristin smiled. She pulled both Admiral Noyce and Barbara into a grateful hug. "Perhaps I should leave you two alone more often."

Bill laughed. "I'll leave you two to visit. See you later. And you're very welcome."

"Oh, I can't believe this," Kristin gushed. "I had no idea you were interested."

Barbara shrugged. "Well, now that it's just me, I think it's time I do something new, that is if you don't mind me tagging along?"

"Not at all," Kristin assured her. "We have to find Nathan. He'll be ecstatic."

They scanned the crowd for him and saw him with Lucas and Robert. They pushed through the crowd once again.

"There you are," Nathan said when he saw them. "Did you find Bill?"

Kristin nodded. "And Tony and Wendy as well."

"Judging by the smile on your face, I'd say it went well?" Nathan noted.

"More than well." She handed opened the box and showed him the photo album. "A gift from the crew, but there's even bigger news." She turned to Barbara. "Do you want to tell him?"

"You're looking at one of your newest nurses," Barbara gushed. She gave him a mock salute. "Captain Bridger."

Nathan laughed. "Congratulations. How did that happen?"

"Bill," Kristin told him. "Wendy and Tony dragged me away, and I had to leave her alone with him. I thought things were going to turn out badly, but apparently, they didn't."

After visiting and celebrating, everyone was exhausted. They went home, feeling tired, but happy.

**Four days later **

Everyone was back in court, awaiting the sentencing of Jesse Sanderson.

"Will the defendant please rise?" Judge Taylor asked.

Jesse Sanderson did so.

The judge continued, "Mr. Sanderson, you have been found guilty on all charges against you. Therefore, I sentence you to a total of twenty-five years without the possibility of parole."

Jesse Sanderson remained unmoved by these words, showing no reaction whatsoever. As the judge banged her gavel, however, there was a thunder of applause from the other bystanders.

Nathan turned to Kristin. "Well, we did it."

She nodded. "I'm just glad it's over. Let's go home."

**The next day**

Nathan, Kristin, Harry, and Wendy sat in Dr. Elders' office. _ SeaQuest_ was set to be back in the water by the end of the week, and it had to be determined if the Bridger family would be able to go with it.

"Well, Harry, you've been doing remarkably well since your surgery. The cancer is responding to the treatments, and I feel confident in turning your care over to Dr. Smith. I just have one condition."

"What's that?" Harry asked.

"You give me updates. I want to know how you're doing from time to time," she said with a smile. She held out her hand. "Well, Harry, it's been a pleasure. Good luck with everything."

Instead of shaking her hand, Harry wrapped his arms around her, hugging her. "Thank _you_ for everything. I couldn't have made it this far without you."

She hugged him back. "You're very welcome. Take care of yourself."

"I will," Harry smiled. He turned to his parents. "Can I go say goodbye to the other kids?"

"Just don't be too long. We have a lot of packing to do," Nathan said.

Harry smiled. "I won't."

Wendy turned Dr. Elders. "I'll let you know how he is as soon as we're settled, Karen."

"You'd better," she teased.

"We just want to thank you for everything you've done for him," Kristin added.

Karen waved a hand. "I really didn't do much. It was Harry who did it; I just helped him along." She held out her hand to shake. As she shook their hands, she said, "You take care of yourselves…and him."

"We will," Nathan assured her.


	29. The Circle of Life

**Chapter 29**

"Come on, Daddy," Kristy called, holding her suitcase in her hand. "We don't want to be late."

Nathan followed behind, arms laden with luggage. He chuckled. "I'm going as fast as I can, Honey."

Kristin came out of the bedroom, just finishing up packing the small items. "Let me help you," he offered. She took one of the bags from him. "Why are you trying to carry so much at one time?"

"The little drill sergeant there," Nathan replied, nodding his head towards Kristy.

"I don't want to be late," she explained.

Kristin smiled. "How about you go see how everyone else is doing? Make sure everyone's packed and ready." She looked at her watch. "We have over an hour though."

Kristy ran off. "It doesn't hurt to be early," she called.

"She's killing me," Nathan groaned, setting the bags down.

"Let's get these into the car," Kristin said. Then she added, "She's just excited. Aren't you?"

"Excited, yes," Nathan agreed, "but that doesn't mean I want to run a marathon either."

"Things will calm down once we're on board," she assured him.

Nathan nodded as they headed out the door with the bags. "By this evening, maybe. There are still a few surprises to share, remember?"

"I'd forgotten," she admitted. "I don't suppose I could have a hint?" she asked, batting her eyes at him.

Nathan smiled. "I don't care how cute you look when you do that, it's not going to get you anywhere."

She gave him a slight pout. "Fine."

Nathan put an arm around her. "You'll find out soon enough."

Half an hour later, everyone was waiting in the cars. Nathan stood in the doorway, waiting for Kristin. She wanted to check the house, making sure nothing was left behind. "Hurry up, Honey. Everyone's waiting."

A minute later, she headed down the stairs. "I'm coming," she said. "I just wanted to check things over."

"Fine, but let's go," Nathan said. He started out the door, but Kristin hesitated. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Did you forget something?"

"No…I'm just taking it all in, trying to remember everything. We've spent a lot of time here, so many memories," she said.

Nathan took a look around too. He put an arm around her shoulders. "You're right." He ushered her out of the house. "But, it's time to close the door on this chapter of our lives."

"And start something new," Kristin agreed as the she closed the door behind him.

"Let's go home, Mrs. Bridger."

Another half an hour later, they were on _seaQuest._

"It feels so good to be back," Tony said with a smile as he entered.

"You can say that again," Lucas agreed.

"You all get settled into your rooms and meet me back here in say, an hour," Nathan told them. "There's something I need to show you."

The crew began to part ways while Robert and Michael waited. They weren't sure where their rooms were. Nathan turned to them.

"I'll show you to your room," Nathan told them. "Follow me."

They walked down the same corridor that held Nathan and Kristin's quarters. Nathan stopped in front of a door directly across from his quarters.

"Dad?" Robert questioned. "This room was never here before."

"I pulled some strings. I needed my son and grandson close to me. Why don't you go in and check it out?"

Michael and Robert eagerly pushed open the door.

"Wow!" Michael gasped.

Robert did the same.

The room was smaller than the captain's quarters, but it was modeled in the same fashion. It held a small dining area, a living room, and off the living room were two bedrooms.

"Your room is this way," Nathan told Michael. "Why don't you go check it out and tell me what you think of it?"

Michael ran to his bedroom. Nathan and Robert followed. "Oh cool!" Michael squealed when he opened the door.

Nathan had chosen a pirate theme for Michael's room. He loved the sea like Harry, but he didn't want him to have the same room as Harry. He knew Michael liked pirates. And, he'd arranged a pyramid of toys for Michael just as he'd done for Harry and Kristy when they first came to the _seaQuest_ as well.

Michael turned to Nathan and gave him a tight hug. "Thank you so much, Grandpa!"

"You're very welcome," Nathan said. "So, do you like it?"

"I love it! I can't wait to show Harry!" He ran across the hall to find him.

"Dad, I really don't know how to thank you," Robert began.

"Why don't you see your room first?" Nathan suggested.

Robert walked in. The room was small, but simple, perfect for a single man. "It's great, Dad."

"And, if you ever needed, it could be expanded," Nathan added. "For Kendall."

Robert gave Nathan a hug. "Thank you. We love it."

Nathan smiled. "I'd better go see if Kristin needs any help. You just get settled and remember to meet me in an hour."

"See you later, Dad," Robert said as Nathan left.

Nathan walked across the hall. He met the children running back to Robert's room. Kristin stood in the doorway, smiling.

"I think we're going to be seeing a lot of that now." She nodded towards the children.

"That's fine; that's kind of how I planned it," Nathan said, walking up to her.

She moved aside, and the two walked into their room. "So, I take it Michael and Robert are happy with their room?"

"Very," Nathan confirmed. "Do you need any help?"

"You can start putting those things away," she said, nodding toward one of the suitcases. She looked at her watch. "I want to get down to medbay soon and see how my people are doing."

Nathan shook his head. "Not yet…the surprise, remember?"

"I remember, but the surprise isn't going to take all day to look at."

Nathan just looked at her.

"Is it?"

"I think our work can wait until tomorrow," he simply said. "Everyone's still getting settled. I don't expect anyone to do much today."

An hour later, everyone met on the bridge, just as Nathan had asked.

"I want to welcome you all back," he began. "I know we need to get back to work, but today, I want things to be laid back. My family had been through a lot these past few months. I know you didn't have to get involved, didn't have to help in any way. But, you did, and I appreciate that more than you'll ever now. That's why I not only think of you as my crew, I think of you as part of my family."

"Like the extended family that never leaves," Tony quipped.

"Something like that," Nathan agreed with a laugh. "Anyway, I pulled some strings, and I had something added that we can all enjoy. Follow me," he urged."

Nathan began walking, and everyone followed.

Nathan walked past the science labs and into a new wing with a set of double doors. He stopped in front of them.

"I hope to spend a lot of time here with my family, my _whole _family," he said, looking at the other crew members. "At the end of the day, when all is said and done, we all deserve a little time to unwind." He pushed open the doors and walked in, urging the others to follow him.

There were several audible gasps amongst the group.

"A movie theatre!" Harry cried.

"Awesome!" Michael agreed.

"Very cool!" Lucas added.

"Very cool, indeed," Kristin said with a smile.

After the commotion had died down, Nathan said, "How about a movie?"

Everyone cheered.

"Is there popcorn?" Tony asked.

Nathan nodded. "Can't have a movie without popcorn."

"What are we going to watch?" Lucas asked.

"I think we should let the kids decide," Nathan suggested. He led the children into the projection area. "Everyone find a seat," he called.

A moment later, the children ran happily up the front of the theatre. Popcorn was passed out as the lights dimmed. Nathan walked into the theatre and looked around for Kristin.

"Back here, Sailor," she called. She was seated in the back of the room, an empty seat next to her.

Nathan sat down next to her. "So, was it worth waiting for?" he asked.

She kissed him. "Definitely. So what movie did they pick?"

"_The Lion King_?" Tony groaned as the movie started.

Kristin raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry," Nathan assured her. "There are plenty of adult movies back there too…some of your favorites."

"I like _The Lion King_," Kristin confirmed. "It's a beautiful movie."

Nathan put an arm around her. "I like it too."

"That was a lovely thing you said," Kristin whispered, "about everyone being your family."

"I meant it," Nathan replied. "And I do want this theatre to be used…a lot. I was thinking of Monday night family time."

She smiled. "A lovely thought. I just hope no one takes advantage of this being here." She nodded towards Tony.

"I've already thought of that. I already have a list of punishments if he does."

Kristin chuckled. "Like what."

Nathan purposely spilled some of the popcorn on the floor. "Theatre cleaning duty."

Tony turned around. "Ssshh. Some of us are trying to watch the movie."

"I thought this was too juvenile for you," Nathan countered.

"I've actually never seen it," he admitted. "Now please don't ruin it for me."

Nathan pulled Kristin closer to him. "We wouldn't dream of it." With that, he captured Kristin's lips and kissed her.


	30. Lay Down Beside Me

**Chapter 30**

**Six weeks later**

Kristin, Nathan, and Harry waited nervously in Wendy's office. They were awaiting Harry's test results, results that would determine if the treatments had been successful or not.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Wendy finally came in. "I'm so sorry to keep you two waiting; there was a small mix-up with the results."

Kristin held her breath.

"Mix-up?" Nathan asked, concerned.

"Nothing to worry about," Wendy assured them. She looked at Kristin. "Honestly." She opened the file in her hand. "Harry's white cell count has returned to normal. His red cell count, normal. Honestly, we've double-checked, and we can't find anymore cancer."

Harry did a little cheer. Kristin and Nathan hugged him tightly. Kristin cried happy tears.

"Of course, we'll have to check him in say, three months or so, and again at six. We want to be sure this time," Wendy added.

After Kristin and Nathan calmed down a bit, Kristin said, "Don't forget to let Karen know."

Wendy nodded. "Already done, actually. I hope you don't mind, but I had her check the results once again in case I was missing something."

"Can I go tell everyone the good news?" Harry asked.

"Of course you can," Nathan said. "I think we can arrange a small celebration later too."

"A movie night?"

"Any one you want."

"Yes!" Harry cried. He gave his parents a hug. "See you later."

Nathan turned to Kristin. "Well, I have to get back to the bridge myself." He gave her a peck on the cheek. "See you later?"

"Of course."

Once they were alone, Wendy said, "I could have handled things here if you wanted the afternoon off."

Kristin shook her head. "Thank you, but I'm fine." Then she added, "It's been a long time since I was able to say that."

Wendy placed a hand on her shoulder, and Kristin turned to hug her. "I really don't know how to thank you for everything you've done for me, for us."

"You already are," Wendy assured her.

Kristin nodded. At that moment, her PAL beeped. "Time get back to work," she said.

After the day had settled down, and Harry's news had spread around the boat, Nathan arranged a movie night as promised.

"So what are going to watch tonight?" Tony asked eagerly.

"You'll see," Harry said with a smile.

The lights dimmed and the movie started playing on the screen.

"_The Neverending Story_?" Tony said. "I've never seen this one either.

"You'll like it," Harry assured him.

After the movie, everyone said their goodnights. Nathan, Kristin, Harry, and Kristy headed back to their room.

After putting the children to bed, Nathan and Kristin headed to their own room as well.

"Well, Mrs. Bridger, are you happy?" Nathan asked her as they lay in bed.

She nodded. "I couldn't be happier. I never thought we'd find ourselves back here."

"For a while, I didn't either," Nathan admitted. "But I'm glad we are. This is home."

Kristin got up and stood. "That it is." She walked over to turn out the light, and noticed a box on the table.

"I thought we unpacked everything," she said, opening it up.

"We did," Nathan replied. "But I wasn't sure what to do with that. I thought we'd send it to Ben and Katie."

Kristin looked inside. "The baby monitor," she said quietly. "Nathan, Katie and Ben don't need it. They already have _two_ of everything."

Nathan took the box from her. "Then, we'll just set it in the closet. I guess we never know when we might need it."

Kristin was about to protest but decided against it. She waited until Nathan was finished and turned out the light.

They both lay next to each other once again.

After a short time, Nathan said, "You know, we could always create a reason for that baby monitor."

"What are you saying?" Kristin asked.

"I think you know what I'm saying."

Kristin sighed. She had to admit, since Nathan had shot down the idea of having a child, a small part of her hurt because of it. "You do realize we're a little older now than the last time we had this conversation."

"I know," Nathan admitted. "And I know you're probably worried I'm going to change my mind again."

She nodded. "And it would be a little too late for that if I was already pregnant."

Nathan urged her to sit up. He took her hands in his. "How about this?" he whispered. "Why don't we just see what happens?" He kissed her softly.

"Are you sure?" she asked when he'd broken the kiss.

"If that's what you want."

"Part of me regretted not being pregnant…and the fact that you kept the monitor tells me that maybe you did too," she said.

"A little," he admitted. "If it hadn't been…for everything…I might have tried to solicit you months ago."

She smiled. "Solicit?"

He captured her lips once again. He moved from her lips and trailed soft kisses across her chin and down her neck. "It has been a while," he whispered.

She nodded. "We've been pretty busy." She put her head back to allow him easier access.

"Well, we're going to have to make more time."

It wasn't long before clothing was shed, and the two made long passionate love before falling into blissful sleep, each entangled in one another's arms. It truly had been worth every mile.

**The End?**

**A/N: I feel I need to explain myself here. The story really is over this time, but I left it open for a reason. I have read just about every _seaQuest_ story out there, even the ones that are not on this site. And, if you've read them too, you're aware that there are quite a few stories in which Nathan and Kristin have children. **

**Now it's certainly not impossible. They both might be older, but if one goes by the Wikipedia age of Kristin Westphalen, she would only be forty-four by the end of this story. Therefore, she'd certainly have quite a few good child-bearing years left. It happens in Hollywood all the time. But, my problem is pleasing you. I realize some readers love the thought of Nathan and Kristin having children while others don't.**

**Therefore, I feel I cannot possibly make a decision one way or the other. No matter what I decide, I'd make someone upset. That's why the decision is yours. If you love the thought of them having a baby (or maybe even two), imagine it. If not, then leave it the way it is. But, for me, the story is finished. I am done with this AU view. Maybe someday, I'll think of another scenario for them, but I think I've exhausted every idea for this particular AU.**

**I'd like to thank everyone for reading, especially the reviewers. I'd especially like to thank those of you who stuck with me from the very beginning. I know that sometimes, I got a little whiny when it came to reviews. Honestly, believe it or not, I really don't know how good the story is or if people are enjoying it if I'm not told so. I need the reassurance. So, let me just tell you a review would still be appreciated even though the story is complete. **

**There are future stories coming, but I will be taking a small break. If you're interested, the new stories are explained on my profile page. Thank you once again for reading. Enjoy your week. **


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